randuff Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 So my ex gets a hold of me. I answered the phone at work busy with my salesguys and didn't notice "her" ringtone. It was her asking for help.... With money.... I was the financial backbone of the relationship for the most part. She is short on her rent by a few hundred bucks and asked if I could help. I could sense the apprehension in her voice but I knew what she wanted. We have our accounts joint for now until I pay off 3 credit cards which I am doing in about a week and I noticed how much money she has left. I don't want to help her since part of her reasoning was to be able to make it on her own but I also don't want her to NOT pay her rent and fall flat. She called about 5 or 6 hours ago and I told her I would call her back, which I haven't yet. Just wondering what you guys think about helping her?
KaneNAbel Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Have her new guy pay for her rent. Apprehension, Schmapprehension. She's still trying to take what she can from you. Sorry to say, but if you give her money, you are the sap.
KaneNAbel Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 From your other post, it looks like you loved to buy things for her. She likes your wallet. If she can have that without anything else, she's becoming a bonafide cake eater. Do you really want to give that to her? Do you think she'll really think back someday and go he gave me a couple of hundred dollars for my rent, I'm gonna fall head over heels for this guy? She's thinking "I feel bad but I need the money and most likely he (you) is going to give it to me. If he doesn't no biggie, I'll look somewhere else." She BROKE UP WITH YOU, she doesn't deserve any of you. Hope you realize that. I wanted to give something to my dumper as a going away gift for school. But you know what? I said screw it, I don't owe her anything and my well being is not even crossing her mind at the moment.
KittenMoon Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 I'm a big softie, but even I say tell her to take care of her own sh*t. She's taking advantage of your affectionate feelings towards her, not to mention the "hero" reaction most men will have when a poor little woman asks for help. Call her back, tell her one simple thing: No.
Art_Critic Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 I don't think there is a single person that gave a bunch of money to an ex said to himself/herself afterward that it was worth it and they wish they had given them more.. It isn't going to be worth it to you.. you will only get all pissy when it doesn't do what you wanted it to and then you will resent her and call her a biotch for borrowing it . Tell her No.. that you cannot afford it at this time..
MagnoliaJane Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 So my ex gets a hold of me. I answered the phone at work busy with my salesguys and didn't notice "her" ringtone. It was her asking for help.... With money.... I was the financial backbone of the relationship for the most part. She is short on her rent by a few hundred bucks and asked if I could help. I could sense the apprehension in her voice but I knew what she wanted. We have our accounts joint for now until I pay off 3 credit cards which I am doing in about a week and I noticed how much money she has left. I don't want to help her since part of her reasoning was to be able to make it on her own but I also don't want her to NOT pay her rent and fall flat. She called about 5 or 6 hours ago and I told her I would call her back, which I haven't yet. Just wondering what you guys think about helping her? I'm sorry for being a little harsh but perhaps you need some tough love. Why don't you do YOURSELF a favor and stop being a sugar daddy for this woman? Unless you are a millionaire and don't know what to do with all your cash... And this advice is coming from a woman. We all have to learn to face our own challenges in life and if she can't make it today it might motivate her to take better care of herself tomorrow. I know probably your compassionate nature is telling you know "yes, but....". Please, she isn't a child anymore, so she'd better mature a little and learn to take care of herself. If you continue to play sugar daddy she'll never get motivated to grow up.
CaliGuy Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Sorry to sound so harsh but if you give her a dime, you are a complete door mat. She doesn't love you. She loves what you do for her (like give her money). She made this bed, let her sleep in it. It's a harsh lesson but one she needs to learn if she is to realize she is not to take you for granted.
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