curiousnycgirl Posted May 29, 2007 Posted May 29, 2007 My friend has been quite ill, and to add insult to injury - he was going to have to find a new home for his dog because he wasn't able to care for her. I thought this was absurd and said I would care for her until he was ready to take her back. He thanked me profusely and said he would pay all her bills. When I drove to pick her up, I found a very insecure scared dog who had very little training - she wanted to be good, but just didn't understand what was being asked. Now I am a huge animal person - but not an experienced dog owner. The only dog I've spent sigifnicant amount of time with was my BF's perfect in every way dog. So while somethings I just know instinctively - I also knew I needed help. (ridiculous as I trained my own horse, but it is what it is). I would never do anything with the dog without discussing it with my friend first so he knew what was going on at all times. First I signed up for basic obedience class - to teach both of us how to communicate. The I went on a scheduled vacation a little over a month ago - and rather than simply board the dog, I put her in a 2 week training program (also a boarding facility) - the same place where we had been going to class. She came back a different dog! Happy, more comfortable in the world, etc. I've now learned that dogs just want to understand that you are in charge - if you are the alpha, it alleviates their concerns and allows them to be happy. The day after I got her back from training we went to visit "daddy" - he argued with me over disciplining her saying this was a play day - I advised him that would do nothing but confuse her and make her afraid again, if he didn't want me to reinforce the rules, then he should stop using the command words. So while he is very happy at the dog she is now, and has said so often, he is fighting me on it too. So here's the bottom line - to date I have spent $219 getting this dog current with a vet check and vaccinated (she was 6 months overdue), $190 on basic obedience class, $1,700 on the 2 week training program and $40 on food when daddy forgot to re-order despite my reminding him - and not even a single offer to reimburse me. He's got the money - he's looking at buying himself a porsche (even though the dog would hate it) - WTF is up with that?! It's not medical bills as I know that so far he is 100% covered. It's also not lack of income - 1. he's got a boatload of $'s on his own and 2. his company refuses to even put him on disability while he is sick, they want to be supportive during his time of need (which I think is amazing). So I just needed to vent. I am very glad I have done what I've done - and would do the exact same again - but MAN it's annoying! At least the dog is thankful and loves me!
norajane Posted May 29, 2007 Posted May 29, 2007 Perhaps you could bring over your receipts and ask him if he can write a check for the expenses. Maybe he just doesn't know how much he owes you and forgot to ask? If he's been sick, that's possible. It also sounds like he doesn't know as much as you do now about dog training. I hate to add to your expenses, but maybe giving him a training book to read while he is convalescing would help.
Author curiousnycgirl Posted May 30, 2007 Author Posted May 30, 2007 Thanks NJ that made me literally laugh out loud. A couple hundred dollars I would be ok with - but this is a couple thousand! And btw he thinks he knows way more about dogs than I do - he's always correcting me and/or telling me what to do. Oh well - I just hope she will be as happy, or happier when she is back with him as she has become with me. She is really a very good dog.
Art_Critic Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Did he agree verbally to pay this ? and if he did did he understand that it was 2k ?"$190 on basic obedience class, $1,700 on the 2 week training program"
Author curiousnycgirl Posted May 30, 2007 Author Posted May 30, 2007 Yup Art Critic he did agree verbally and he saw the pricing in writing - I sent him the link to the pages that described the program - the price is at the top of the paragraph, and I knew he read it because we discussed whether or not he felt it was good for his dog in absurd detail. I am sure I will have to write this off - but overall I'm just miffed.
Art_Critic Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Yup Art Critic he did agree verbally and he saw the pricing in writing - I sent him the link to the pages that described the program - the price is at the top of the paragraph, and I knew he read it because we discussed whether or not he felt it was good for his dog in absurd detail. I am sure I will have to write this off - but overall I'm just miffed. Then I would corner him.. make him make good on his word.. Ef the friendship.. if he goes back on his word on this then he is really being a crappy friend.. Please don't let him take advantage of you twice.. the first being giving responsibility of an animal that was entrusted to him to you and then the money side of the deal.. I'm not saying threaten him.. I'm saying that you corner him and hear him on why you haven't gotten payments that he agreed to pay.. A person's word is everything.. IMO.. And I'd be miffed too.. you have every right to be upset..
Author curiousnycgirl Posted May 30, 2007 Author Posted May 30, 2007 Thanks Art Critic - I will try to find the right time to bring it up - like I said earlier, he is really sick - he's got leukemia and is scheduled for a marrow transplant in July - maybe once he is fully recovered. Truth be told I just really hope he does right by the dog! He adopted her 1.5 years before he got sick and I took her in - I'm shocked at how little he's done with her! Can you tell I'm a sucker for the animals?
Art_Critic Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Thanks Art Critic - I will try to find the right time to bring it up - like I said earlier, he is really sick - he's got leukemia and is scheduled for a marrow transplant in July - maybe once he is fully recovered. Truth be told I just really hope he does right by the dog! He adopted her 1.5 years before he got sick and I took her in - I'm shocked at how little he's done with her! Can you tell I'm a sucker for the animals? You sound like a sweet person and a good friend.. I'm sure he has bills that are unexpected.. but don't let him use that as an excuse to go back on his word.. After all you said he was buying a Porsche.. those are more than 2k+ and you believe he can afford it.. At least you have a plan now.. stick to it and when the time is right discuss this with him . Sometimes people need a push..
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