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just dumped a friend...scared for her.


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Posted

i just broke it off w/ someone who i had started a casual relationship with but went to far with. for the last 2 months we spent every nite together when in my head i knew this couldn't be a thing we had forever - not sure if i just wasn't' that into her or if there were other issues there. anyway broke up with her this weekend and talked to her for a long time over the last two days. she's semi new in town and doesnt have many to lean on and somewhat unstable. how do i help - she's completely broken up? i'm actually scarred for her more than i am worried about being alone.

Posted

Maybe you could suggest that she see a counselor - that could also help with whatever is making her 'unstable' to beging with.

 

Spending every night with someone in a new relationship is too much - it's not healthy, and it's too much togetherness that will kill any romance pretty quickly. You need to have some longing and time apart to miss each other.

 

In any case, it's nice that you care about her, but it's probably not a good idea to let her lean on you too much because she might have a harder time letting go if you're always around. Even if she doesn't know people in the area, she can still lean on her friends and family via the phone. I know some of my best friends are elsewhere, but they've helped me through many a long night.

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Posted

how do you tell when the point is that they have healed or can you talk to them again. she initiated nc w/ me which i am trying to respect and getting updates from a friend which are choppy at best. i sometimes wonder if me not breaking the nc is also upsetting in that i'm not even trying.

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