brightwillow Posted May 29, 2007 Posted May 29, 2007 T and I became friends this past year but we were both in relationships, so it was always platonic. In the last 3-4 months we both became single again and have become more comfortable with each other. The more I've gotten to know him, the more I found him attractive. We’re similar in a lot of ways --- kind of quiet on the surface, enjoy similar activities, share similar thoughts/values on life, etc., similar humor, etc. We’re both cautious, take our time to get to know people, aren’t into casual flings. We have a great time together, even when we're doing nothing special like watching tv, or driving to the deli to get lunch. It's a little confusing, because sometime he's aloof. He seems distant when we're both around other people, but when he and I are in the same room alone he'll approach me and talk. Generally, 8 times out of 10 he approaches me vs. me approaching him. Sometimes, he’ll come over to talk on and on, almost nervously rambling. Or, I’d catch him looking at me but he’d quickly look away. Or, he’d make playful comments or jokes specific to me. He'll do things like offer me a ride home, or even pick me up to go out with our friends or to a party, even though he's 20 minutes away and it isn't convenient for him. Once, he knew that I was moving to a different place, and even though I never asked, he offered to help -- several times. After the move I took T and our other friend B who helped with the move to dinner. B is gay, and I had hugged him before. But I had never hugged or even kissed T on the cheek before. When T dropped me off at home I was just really appreciative and said, “Thanks for everything!”, and gave him a quick hug –- but he seemed uncomfortable, like he wasn’t sure what to do. Was that a mistake on my part? Another time, our friend C, a guy, was kidding around with T and me, and said, “Hey, we should go find T a new girl.” Then C looked at me and said , “Hey, maybe you could be the new girl?” T was just quiet. At the time, I still had a bf and just laughed it off. Another friend of ours later said, “That was weird, maybe T has a crush on you and he told C." We went to a horror movie with friends one time, and chicken that I am, was freaked out about being home alone. When T dropped me off he said, "Hey, I don't have to be home any time soon, if you want company." Not sure if that was a hint or what, but at the time I was completely dense about it and didn’t realize how dumb I was being until he had driven away. He had said, "Call if you want to hang out later." So, half an hour later, I called him and he offered to pick me up. It was a late night and he had been drinking so he offered up his sofa and we just stayed up ALL night just watching movies and chatting about anything and everything. Every time I’d start falling asleep, he’d say, “ Are you awake?,” like he wanted me to keep talking with him. He just seemed antsy, so at one point I said, “Are you ok?” And he said, “Yeah, it’s just a weird night.” Even though nothing weird happened, we were all just hanging out as usual. The only weird thing was I was staying over on the sofa for the first time ever. Maybe I was imagining it, but I felt some weird attraction-tension, and I thought maybe that’s the weirdness that he meant? He knew I had to be up and back at school the next morning even though it was Saturday, and he offered to wake me up. I woke up planning to call a cab, but he drove me back at 7am even though we didn't really get any sleep that night. It was completely unexpected and so sweet of him. Sometimes, I feel like we’re both interested in each other but are just too shy to say anything. But sometimes, I wonder if maybe I’m just reading too much into his actions. The kicker is, school ends next week and we all go our separate ways to different states. He’s from the midwest and I’m from the east coast. My head says: 1) just forget about it, we’re all leaving in a week and may never see each other again, 2) even if we started dating it would probably be a rebound for us both, and 3) I'm unsure if he's even interested in me. BUT another part of me says --- he’s somebody really special and I’d be stupid to write him off completely despite the distance. He’s such a great guy -– is considerate, but not a pushover, quietly confident, cute, athletic, the total package. Who knows, down the road ... What would you do? Just forget about it, or try to maintain contact? And is he even interested, or, am I just imagining it? What say you, oh Loveshack gods and goddesses?
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