Trialbyfire Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 This is good advice and is so true. Thanks Rid. Been there, done that. Actions speak louder than words.
Pyro Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Thanks Rid. Been there, done that. Actions speak louder than words. They sure do. Thats why there are players out there. There still are some naive gals out there who react so quickly and don't wait to see if the actions will match the words, because for a player they usually do not.
monkey00 Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 an image is an image, it doesnt mean a thing until you spend enough time with someone to truly getting to know them. The better question to ask if whether you're attracted to him (what you've experienced first hand), or his polished image? Or perhaps both as it plays hand in hand.
Author sweetie7 Posted May 30, 2007 Author Posted May 30, 2007 Okay. He sounds like the "emo" bad boy. Sulken, depressed about everything, self-denigrating. He's probably a silly middle class white boy from the suburbs, no? I dated a girl that fell into this category once, and I have to say one of the things that bothered me the most was she had such a bad opinion of herself that there was nothing for her to live up to. Having said that, he'll probably grow out of this. Generally people get over it by the time they are in their late 20's. The upside is this "type" can often be really talented, creative, and a delight to have conversations with. They are often more creative, smarter, and more talented than the average person in fact, which is partly why they are so depressed all the time. They feel society owes them something for being so damn smart, but unfortunately that's not the way it works. Could I possibly stereotype any more, heehee? Could be fun, but be cautious. Wow, hi...do you know him? Upper middle class suburb all the way. Rich family...very talented, a delight to talk to. He's 27 sooo he's reaching his upper 20s. interestinggg. I think he just knows he's screwed a lot of girls over before...who knows. He just texted me saying he's sorry he called when he was drunk but he enjoyed talking to me. He totally could have "gotten in my pants" the other night but he didn't even try...which makes me wonder too. And he's called the last couple nights just to talk...and he lives down the st. from me and hasn't asked to see me. I think I am a lot "nicer" than girls he's dated in the past...I think the other girls have been a little trashy, party animals, etc. and that's not me. And he knows what kind of girl I am, especially considering he knows my best friend who his bandmate has been with for 2 years. Ughh but my friend just told me if I wanted her honest opinion, I should stay away and he's not worth my time. hmmm I totally respect and value her opinion and her bf's (though he's not at all "my type")...so they're probably right. She said I could find a better fling. haha. The thing is I'm bored, I have time, and am not ruling out any other options. And yes, I am very attracted to him.
Diamonds&Rust Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 "Bad Boy" isn't necessarily a very useful term. I've gone through phases where I drank, did a lot of drugs, drove my car too fast, and stayed out all night, but I was also really nice to people and was certainly open to having a meaningful relationship. I was sarcastic and cynical about much of life, but a nice and pretty girl could always melt my heart. Word! I think the stereotype is more on trial in this thread than the actual guy, who doesn't sound like such a bad boy at all, just a tiny bit of a **** up. Tiny-bit-of-a-****-up is not so bad.
Green Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 First off I gaurantee this isnt going to end well expect to leave this used, and abused pow. Just stay a little gaurded at first try to be man(figurativly) about ur emotions for the first few months if it goes that far.
Author sweetie7 Posted May 31, 2007 Author Posted May 31, 2007 He called me again tonight just to chat. Again, we live 5 mins away so he could have easily tried to get my to come over or invited himself over but just asked me about my day, told me about his, told me to have a good night, and that was all. Honestly, I think he's trying to be good. He told me before that he's been trying to "resist me" since we first met, because he knows my best friend and roomie is dating his bandmate. Right now I feel like he's just a nice friend who's fun to chat with...but my roomie is convinced I shouldn't even talk to him. But the way I see it, I'm not going to shut him out of my life until he gives me a reason to. And I do not like hanging out with people who make me feel incomfortable or disrespected in any way, so the second he does this, he's gone. But I don't feel like I'm ready to totally end our communication now...what would I even say when he calls? Oh, roomie and bf don't like you and told me to stay away? Ughh and it's horrible because my roomie and bf are probably the most judgemental people I know.
Trialbyfire Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 Reel 'em in KMT? sweetie, if you want to do it, go for it. I don't think you're here for advice or any opinions. You want the guy. Have at it but you're going to be back to LS, telling us how badly he treated you after the fall unless you're able to compartmentalize sex and your softer emotions.
Topper Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 Here is my take, You are looking for and maybe even in need of ' a Transition Man" This is the guy you use. yes that's right you are useing him, to get over your failed relationship. You may not see yourself asa user. You really don't intend to use this guy. It is just one of those weird little quirks in human behaviour. Woman in this phase often go for the opposite of what they normally find appealing in a man. If you are smart you will see this for what it is a fling. Often in this type of fling you are going to do some wild and crazy things in bed. In fact once the fling is over many woman are a little embarrassed about how sexually crazy they became. i have been a transition man a few times. The sad thing is once or twice I really fell for the woman. just know yourself and like I said know that this is just a phase. it could be a brief affair or last for a year or so.
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