pinkrazr Posted May 29, 2007 Posted May 29, 2007 I honestly dont know if i'm being over paranoid.. but i'm really... weirded out. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. a few years before me he dated another woman for 6 years. time has passed, years to be more accurate, and he mentioned that she never paid for anything, never did anything for him, so on and so on. but at the close end of their relationship, she bought him a pair of $1500 armani sunglasses. nice gift! After they split, his car was broken into and they were stolen. he was pretty burnt because those were almost one of a kind. and the only things she ever bought him. she moved outta town in a half million dollar house, because she saved all her money so he could spend it on her. he was choked. I would be too. but time went on. a few days ago we were sunglass shopping online, and every link he sent me, was almost exact replicas of the ones she bought him, he wanted me to buy them, fir his birthday. they were rip offs, about $30. but i honestly felt weird, because she bought him the first pair, and i didnt want to be the second. and i didnt want to be behind her,or buying a pair of sunglasses that has her written all over them. i told him how much this concerned me, that he wouldnt take any other pair, because apprently none others look good on him. he doesnt see why i'm so upset by it, and hes going to buy them himself anyways. to him its apparently just a pair of great sunglasses.... to me.... its because he held so dear to him the one thing she bought him. Am i just being over paranoid? because he really got mad at me when i told him i was upset about it. and then threw in a cheap shot about my ex for some reason that wasnt even related to anything. why the attack on me? does he really see where i'm coming from? does he really just like the glasses? or is it her?... sorry this was so long thanks so much for taking the time to read.
polywog Posted May 29, 2007 Posted May 29, 2007 I understand how you feel, that those sunglasses seem like the symbol of the old girlfriend. But I think he just likes the sunglasses. He felt frustrated by your emotional reaction, he was put off by the jealousy. Buy him the sunglasses, and let this incident blow over.
Walk Posted May 29, 2007 Posted May 29, 2007 I was trying to see this from your bf's perspective... Theoretically, the ex bought him that style of sunglass because that was the type he liked long before her, and will like long after her. She purchased that style because he said he liked them. Not that he liked that style because of her, but liked that style because of who he is. Just because it was the Only thing she ever bought him doesn't automatically imbue meaning to the entire "style" of sunglasses. Also, I was thinking.... your bf might be reacting kind of strongly to your telling him you don't want to buy them because it triggers the emotions from his ex not buying him anything. Might not be something he's concious of, or maybe doesn't feel he could explain it without upsetting you even more. So instead he gets frustrated and makes jabs about your ex. I think if I were you, I'd buy the sunglasses. This could be your chance to re-write bad memories into new happy memories for the two of you. I think you'd have less resentment if you purchased the sunglasses then if he did it himself. If he buys them, then you're always going to think of them as "the ex's gift". If you buy them, then there might not be (as much) animosity attached to them. And face it, if he likes the style, he's going to wear them all the time... which means you'll have to look at them every day.
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