NC question for dumpers

[hrtbroken99]

if you broke up and then made contact months later, why make contact when you did the dumping?

 

also, if you made contact, did you get response back?

 

did you even contact again?

[cuddles4u]

I contacted an ex before just to check in on how things were going for him but he never returned my calls. So I never tried again. I have moved on since then but I think I made contact back then because I was alone at that time.

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

From personal experience, I did contact my ex a few months after I dumped him (I hate using the word dumped, in my relationship it was more I realised we were a poor match for each other).

 

The reason? Generally to find out if he was doing okay, I'd heard he was having a few problems and just thought I would check in. I'm really pleased I did as we're good friends now and we share lots of stuff with each other including relationship advice - he's really good at telling me where I'm going wrong in my new relationship!

 

If I had contacted him and he had been upset or sad, I would have respected his right to NC and wished him well. I wouldnt want to sustain any pain for him.

[4peace]

Hi,

I am a dumper and it has been a little over three months since the break but I made a tiny contact. truely an accident but I haven't stopped thinking about them one day since, with all the desire to make contact, I've refrained.

 

Guess I would say the reason for me to make contact, and there have been many many times I've wanted to but didn't, was because we left with having made no final closure. And final closure haunts me. Not because I want to be back together but truly because there was more I would have liked to say.

 

With that, I think being adult about things, discussing and agreeing we were both incompatible would have been nice, nice for both of us. As it is, he's not ready and yes, I agree I need to respect that.

 

When we are ready and before too much time has passed, I think contacting or meeting is okay. I am friends with people I've spent time with intimatly. As long as it was healthy and we've both moved on, I would like a friendship to develop.

 

hang in there both of you above and all on this site. It does get easier if you can concentrate on yourself and get your own life back. Inorder to be the best person you can be verses someone stuck in the past, it just takes time.

Think of all the people in your past that you never thought you would see them again and did. You need to be looking good, feeling good and have moved on.(being with someone new is nice but not necessary)

 

good luck,