LoveLace Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 Again I have not said it is a one way street. My post was not meant to bash men it was representative of how women view men and how they chase us. Women chase differently. This thread is not about women pursuing men it's about men pursuing women. If that's what you want to talk about, start a thread about it. And oh, gee, thanks for reminding me men are human too!!! gosh I didn't know that why didn't anyone tell me? All you did was explain my last post better than I did. Women are quicker than men are to note if they are unhappy. Men expect to be treated well during the relationship but women want the chase to continue in a sense, through out the relationship. That is the difference I was trying to explain.
monkey00 Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 I can tell you that most men will not be happy just because she is there. At least not for the really long term. Men have their emotional needs just like woman do. Guys want to feel that they are also special in her eyes. Yes some guys will keep her around because she is beautiful or sexy or whatever might be his turn on. If other emotional needs are not being met, sooner or later he will emotionally move on. woman are more open about asking that their emotional needs are met. For whatever reason men find it hard to express that need. It does not mean the need is not there. It very much is there. Like I said it isn't a oneway street. Right on brother! tell it like it is! All you did was explain my last post better than I did. Women are quicker than men are to note if they are unhappy. Men expect to be treated well during the relationship but women want the chase to continue in a sense, through out the relationship. That is the difference I was trying to explain. I disagree that it's a chase of any matter. I believe its more about both sides being appreciated for putting in their efforts that show they still do care about one another. In other words, things just go downhill once we take each other for granted. Because we are opposite sexes, we display those efforts differently. A guy might treat his girl to a romantic dinner at home or outside. And in return the girl might be more affectionate or perhaps cook his favorite pork chops on X night. It's all about give and take on both sides. If either side displays aloofness, then there are obvious problems that should be addressed.
LoveLace Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 Right on brother! tell it like it is! I disagree that it's a chase of any matter. I believe its more about both sides being appreciated for putting in their efforts that show they still do care about one another. In other words, things just go downhill once we take each other for granted. Because we are opposite sexes, we display those efforts differently. A guy might treat his girl to a romantic dinner at home or outside. And in return the girl might be more affectionate or perhaps cook his favorite pork chops on X night. It's all about give and take on both sides. If either side displays aloofness, then there are obvious problems that should be addressed. Well said. It should be 50/50 for the most part. It still seems that women have higher expectations though and are more likely to voice them.
Green Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 personaly im catch and release, I dont need any women around longer then I can stand them.
LoveLace Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 personaly im catch and release, I dont need any women around longer then I can stand them. Sounds like the last 10 guys I've dated...hence the problem...
alphamale Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 Sounds like the last 10 guys I've dated...hence the problem... i bore with women very quickly...don't know why
LoveLace Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 i bore with women very quickly...don't know why You are not the only one Alpha. I've had several men say to me "men just are not wired to be monogamous"...they are supposed to "spread their seed" or whatever...but some women get bored quickly too, so if they are capable of monogamy I don't see why any man isn't capable, too. Is it a matter of will power? A matter of meeting the woman who is amazing enough to change your mind about it? I think it also depends on where you are in your life..I'm at the point where being single get exhausting, meeting, talking to and dating one guy after another...the thought of just 1 for a long time sounds nice...
alphamale Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 ...the thought of just 1 for a long time sounds nice... not to me anymore....i just like to date casually and have sex with different chicks. being in a serious relationship is too much work and agony. now if that rare chick comes along whose company i enjoy a lot then we'll talk.
LoveLace Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 not to me anymore....i just like to date casually and have sex with different chicks. being in a serious relationship is too much work and agony. now if that rare chick comes along whose company i enjoy a lot then we'll talk. As I said...it might some real special woman, in your eyes, to change your mind. One that you think would be worth the work. This all goes back to what I sord of tried post about earlier; men enjoy the new and the chase in the beginning; but don't want to work to keep a relationship exciting, so they just date casually like you. I"m not saying there's anything wrong with that; and I'm sure there are women who feel the same and practice the same. It just makes it frustrating for those of us who want to find a meaningful or long-term relationship. We end up dating those who end up hurting us because we learn the hard way before realizing they don't want the same things. Alpha, do you tell women up front this is how you date? What are their reactions? And being a women myself I can tell you, even if a man is honest and tells a woman he doesn't want to get serious....deep down she might be hoping she is the one to change his mind! I am the opposite and have come to feel that dating one guy after another is too much work...I don't feel like telling a guy about myself over and over and over again...worrying about 1st impressions...wondering if he's really a serial cheater, or worse a serial killer!! I guess it's the beginning that sounds like too much work to me...I'd feel comfortable with someone I know very well, and at the point all I have to do is give them love and be myself... But I've been a single a really, really long time!! "the grass is always greener"!
Author SouthernT Posted June 1, 2007 Author Posted June 1, 2007 If other emotional needs are not being met, sooner or later he will emotionally move on. woman are more open about asking that their emotional needs are met. For whatever reason men find it hard to express that need. It does not mean the need is not there. It very much is there. And what are a man's emotional needs? I have yet to hear a description of what this entails.
Green Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 well Ill speak for myself ive got none, im really looking to get laid so southernT please b a dear and bend on over pow
LoveLace Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 And what are a man's emotional needs? I have yet to hear a description of what this entails. Yes I've certainly never heard a man admit he has "emotional needs"...guess its easy to say on LS! How are we supposed to know what his emotional needs are when 98% of the time he pretends like he doesn't even have any emotions...and if we ask him about emotions or get emotional ourselves, we get called pshyco...? Most men I know don't want anything to do with emotions. If they do, we're just supposed to know what they are, cuz they sure as h*ll won't just tell us! And they claim to be "simple" creatures... Yet women are very verbal and are constantly voicing their opinions and thoughts...and we get labeled as hard to figure out...
Author SouthernT Posted June 1, 2007 Author Posted June 1, 2007 well Ill speak for myself ive got none, im really looking to get laid so southernT please b a dear and bend on over pow I PROMISE you wouldnt even know what to do with it if I bent over for you.
Green Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 id give you a chase all night bam. you need to get out of ur head and back to earth, go enjoy the charm of your southern gentlemen and when your ready for kmt just let me know
Topper Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 And what are a man's emotional needs? I have yet to hear a description of what this entails. This really gets me. How is it that a woman can't even see that men have an emotional side? is it that they are so caught up in their own needs that they don't even concider what the man might need or want in a relationship? Do a lot of woman really feel that just being in your presents is enough? Just like woman, every mans needs are a little different. One of the things that seems to be universal is the need to feel like he is needed. That his contributions are appreciated. It's a hard world out there for everyone needs little tenderness. At the end a of a hard day is nice to come home and feel like you can finily be at peace. That you feel your mate is there for you. It works both ways. If you want your man to be emotionally open to you. Don't discount his feeling. I can't tell you how many times when talking to a g/f or my ex wife i would say something about how i was feeling. the next thing would be they would be telling me I really don't feel that way or should not feel that way. Another area that woman excels in is, when he does open up don't use his words against him in an argument. Again that should go both ways. A good relationship should be the place you feel emotionally safe.
halfarock Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 personaly im catch and release, I dont need any women around longer then I can stand them. i bore with women very quickly...don't know why I don’t know that I get bored, it is more like there is always another, always. But, I like having women who I’ve known for awhile, who I understand and can talk with easily. So I’ve ended up having these relationships that last years even though they are still essentially casual. Some women have even gotten another boyfriend, gotten married, and then divorced and our relationship continued intact. So, was she cheating on me by hooking up with another guy and getting married or was she cheating on her husband to continue on with me. Don’t know, don’t care. I'm at the point where being single gets exhausting, meeting, talking to and dating one guy after another...the thought of just 1 for a long time sounds nice... When I was younger I always thought that one day I would meet a woman, fall in love, and live happily ever after. But after about a dozen or so tries that ideal just fell out of my thoughts. Besides, there is always another. But you are right; it gets tiring meeting one after another. But, you know, flirting and all that has become a habit, it takes effort not to. As I said...it might take some real special woman, in your eyes, to change your mind. One that you think would be worth the work. … ...I'd feel comfortable with someone I know very well, and at the point all I have to do is give them love and be myself... I’ve been seeing this one woman for about 3 years now. From the first day I met her I’ve known that there was something special about her. It’s not just her but the interaction between us. We think alike. When I hang out with other chicks, it becomes obvious to me just how special that interaction is. She has become entirely understandable to me, predictable even and I’m always amazed at how often, just by looking at her, I seem to know exactly what she is thinking. I still hang out with and carry on with other women, though I’ve been only having sex with her and no one else.
RecordProducer Posted June 2, 2007 Posted June 2, 2007 I think women are completely delusional about what the chase is about. Who calls first and who hangs up first is superficial, meaningless bullsh*t that takes place at the beginning and comes rather from awkwardness and insecurity rather than as a proof that one person is chasing another. The real chase begins when one partner is genuinely not interested in the other. And at that point the chaser is hurting and the chasee doesn't care. You don't have to worry how to catch a man; he will catch you if he wants to. If he doesn't, there's absolutely nothing you can do to attract him nor can you figure out whether he is playing games or is (not) interested in you. Frankly, I don't see why you would obsess (read: give a damn) about whether Mr. X will chase you or not. He might be the guy that the police chases for serial murders, as far as I am concerned. The real deal is to catch the right guy and keep him forever. And this can only happen if one condition is fulfilled: he has to be deeply intrigued by your personality. Sooner or later, every person is read by their partner. And if there is nothing interesting left, the chase is over. This is valid for both genders. In the game of love, people - especially men - know well how to hide the feeling of inferiority. They will only show it at certain moments when they're provoked to react impulsively. Feeling comfortable with someone doesn't go hand in hand with passion and excitement. Ont he other hand, passion and excitement neither last nor do they make us happy on a fundamental level. So why are we still discussing this?
Author SouthernT Posted June 2, 2007 Author Posted June 2, 2007 You don't have to worry how to catch a man; he will catch you if he wants to. If he doesn't, there's absolutely nothing you can do to attract him nor can you figure out whether he is playing games or is (not) interested in you. This pretty much sums it up. Very direct and to the point. And this is exactly what I've learned, the hard way, but nevertheless I finally learned it.
DanielMadr Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 Stop wondering why you are not chased or not chased enough. Nobody will chase you, when you sit and look confused and worried.
halfarock Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 You don't have to worry how to catch a man; he will catch you if he wants to. If he doesn't, there's absolutely nothing you can do to attract him … … he has to be deeply intrigued by your personality Exactly, and I think it goes both ways.
DanielMadr Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 You don't have to worry how to catch a man;...... I can see those women who dont worry. They gain weight, cant cook, dont know how to change a diaper, behave like sailors on a leave, blame everything else for their misfortune and cant stop wondering why nobody wants them. Lets worry
Green Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 I saw John Tucker must die actualy a pretty entertaining movie... kind of reminded me of this thread
BonneKarma Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 what's this chase stuff you people speak of? Seriously. If I meet a guy I like I smile warmly and start up a conversation. If we're across the room from eachother I'll flash a few looks his way. If he's interested he'll ask for my number or make plans to see me again. We go on dates until one or the other of us no longer wants to. If I meet a guy I don't like I don't encourage him and don't flirt with him. If he asks me out anyways I tell him no thanks, I'm not interested in that way. End of story. I personally don't understand why a woman would want to be 'chased' by a guy she's not interested in. Nor do I understand why a woman would want to keep a guy guessing that she really likes. And honestly, I don't think a guy has ever gotten bored of me because I didn't make him chase me... sometimes the relationship just doesn't work out. Now that isn't to say I've never pursued a guy I should've been smart enough to give up on earlier. I've been guilty of infatuation like anyone else, but have never enjoyed that period... if that's what a chase is. Wait - do you guys consider the time it takes between meeting a girl and getting her in bed to be 'the chase'. I really don't know.
Green Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 I think they dont nescisarily mean in bed, theyr just talking about the fact that the mad in the begining is the agressor he has to impress the girl blah blah blah and if he just gets everything he wants maybe he moves on to the next chase.
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