MEN & "The Chase"

[SouthernT]

Can the men out there help us women to understand the concept of "the chase". I know men love the chase. But

1)what is going on inside of a man's head subconsciously during the chase?

 

2) What is the point of the chase and what does it prove?

 

3) At what point, inside a guys head, at what point is the chase over? Under what circumstaces?

[alphamale]

1)what is going on inside of a man's head subconsciously during the chase?

thoughts of beer, pizza and assorted athletic events....

 

2) What is the point of the chase and what does it prove?

that he can hunt for a woman and show his masculine dominance

 

3) At what point, inside a guys head, at what point is the chase over? Under what circumstaces?

when he knows for sure she either likes him or loves him.

[SouthernT]

when he knows for sure she either likes him or loves him.

 

So even after the chase is over, whether a girl ends up liking or loving the guy, it doesnt mean that he is going to do the same once the chase is over?

[alphamale]

So even after the chase is over, whether a girl ends up liking or loving the guy, it doesnt mean that he is going to do the same once the chase is over?

no it doesn't....he may stick around, he may not, depending on how much he likes or loves her. no one can really predict what will happen cause there are so many variables. for example, if he's a guy with a lot to offer then there will be puh-len-tee of chicks who will make themselves available to him and he'll probably move on to the next woman.

 

its really hard to predict or explain why some unions flourish and some don't. lets take prince charles for example....why did he diss Diana for that skank Camila Parker-Bowles?? who knows? I don't know. Personality? Chemistry? That Je ne sai quoi? It most certainly wasn't about looks, i'll tell you that!

[monkey00]

Can the men out there help us women to understand the concept of "the chase". I know men love the chase. But

1)what is going on inside of a man's head subconsciously during the chase?

 

2) What is the point of the chase and what does it prove?

 

3) At what point, inside a guys head, at what point is the chase over? Under what circumstaces?

 

If subconscious, its purely our instinctual desires that draws us in.

 

It proves our balls are still intact, at the end of the day men will be men and women will be women.

 

The chase ends when we win her over, or...the opposite, when we lose interest (or perhaps if some other girl has stolen our interest).

[Tony T]

1)what is going on inside of a man's head subconsciously during the chase?

 

That's different for each man. Some are wondering what she'll be like in the sack. Some are daydreaming about what it would be like to have her as a girlfriend. Others are wondering how long it will take her to become a real bxtch. Some are wondering if she'll even like him once she gets to know him.

 

If every time you bought a lottery ticket it would be a winner, there would be lots less tickets purchased. The chase of anything is always more interesting than the win. Once there is no guessing, no wonderment the chemicals aren't being pumped into the system anymore and the heart isn't racing quite as hard.

 

2) What is the point of the chase and what does it prove?

 

The point of the chase is to get the girl. The chase doesn't prove anything. The catch proves that the man is worthy, that he's got what it takes to get the girl he thinks is the one of his dreams. Of course, what's the point of a dog chasing cars. Have you ever seen one actually catch the car. What would a dog do with a car if he actually caught it? Now, in humans, when a guy catches the girl there's a whole bunch of stuff he can do.

 

3) At what point, inside a guys head, at what point is the chase over? Under what circumstances?

 

That's different for each guy. For some, it's once the guy decides he's not really interested after all. For others it's when the couple becomes official, an item. Some men consider the chase over when they have the first sexual experience with a gal. Sometimes it's after the two have been dating for six months. Sometimes it's when they get married. For a handful, it's when the divorce is final.

[SouthernT]

So if a guy starts the chase...disappears.....and then appears again to start the chase over again......Does that basically mean that he simply wants to feel like a man and needs a couple of strokes for his eago and is not looking for anything more? I.E. long term? Would you still do this with a girl that you really were INTO?

[SouthernT]

Sometimes it's when they get married. For a handful, it's when the divorce is final.

 

:laugh:

[Tony T]

So if a guy starts the chase...disappears.....and then appears again to start the chase over again......Does that basically mean that he simply wants to feel like a man and needs a couple of strokes for his eago and is not looking for anything more? I.E. long term? Would you still do this with a girl that you really were INTO?

 

No, it means that for a period of time he may not have anything better to do or his options have dwindled. At times, though, recollections of relationships tend to be much better than the actual experience. Somebody, I think it was anonymous, wrote: "Love knows not its own depth, except in the hour of separation." Things always seem much better when you back away. Get back into it and the same old crap reappears...usually.

 

Well, it's my opinion that people are ALWAYS with who they want to be with...unless the other person doesn't want to be with them. If a guy is INTO a lady, he's certainly not going to let her go. If she lets him go...if he's very smart...he'll stay away until she either reappears or he finds someone else. The chances of a previous relationship rekindling are directly proportionate to the ability of the dumpee to be cool and not make annoying email, phone and other contacts in an effort to change the dumper's mind. People just can never understand that concept. DUH!!!

[MissKissNada_Gal]

No, it means that for a period of time he may not have anything better to do or his options have dwindled. At times, though, recollections of relationships tend to be much better than the actual experience. Somebody, I think it was anonymous, wrote: "Love knows not its own depth, except in the hour of separation." Things always seem much better when you back away. Get back into it and the same old crap reappears...usually.

 

Well, it's my opinion that people are ALWAYS with who they want to be with...unless the other person doesn't want to be with them. If a guy is INTO a lady, he's certainly not going to let her go. If she lets him go...if he's very smart...he'll stay away until she either reappears or he finds someone else. The chances of a previous relationship rekindling are directly proportionate to the ability of the dumpee to be cool and not make annoying email, phone and other contacts in an effort to change the dumper's mind. People just can never understand that concept. DUH!!!

Tony T, I think we would all agree u sound very intelligent about this topic. At what point does the chase end for you?

[D-Lish]

I think that what it comes down to is that EVERYONE adores a bit of a challenge.

 

If a woman is too available, then a man will sometimes get bored- or perhaps begin to feel that it's too easy.... and when it's too easy- the thrill dwindles.

 

Something else to keep in mind is that some people only live for the chase...and that's all. I dated a guy for a while who came on so strong- he was so charming and persistent, he said all the right things.... And the more I resisted or played coy, the more he pursued me. I finally relented after several dates, and feeling confident in his feelings for me, I gave in and wne to bed with him. Well- it was over after that. He stopped chasing and calling. I learned my lesson after that one. I learned afterward that it was a chronic pattern for him to chase, conquer and then take off. That was/is just the kind of guy he is.

 

I know that despite my best efforts to remain rational, that I tend to want men who don't show too much interest in me. There are a lot of men around me who chase me and want to be with me- but do I want them??? No! I want the guy who is ambivilent toward me. It's strange.

 

Humans beings seems to want what they can't have.

That, for some reason is more attractive then a nice, willing and available person waiting patiently in the wings.

 

You can either partake in the game and pull back, make yourself unavailable... or move on to someone new, perhaps more worthy.

 

I myself, hate chasing guys, it makes me feel desperate.

And... others smell desperate and don't find it attractive.

If you want to test this out. Go missing in action for a while and see what happens.

 

Games suck. I hate playing them. I am beginning to wonder if they ever stop.

 

D

[monkey00]

While I agree that the thrill of the chase can be exciting at times, it can also be frustrating if the slightest of reward doesnt manifest over time. Its also naturally easy to 'play hard to get' if you're genuinely busy or have low interest. But it also means the opposite can happen with the chaser, he/she could care less if you tried to be a challenge because the chaser has low interest/dropped interest - in one's mind you may think you're being chased, but in fact that was never the case to begin with.

 

it's a fine balancing act with push and pull, initially anway.

[alphamale]

it's a fine balancing act with push and pull, initially anway.

a number of times i've gone out with some woman once or twice and then never call her again (for whatever reason). then i run into her 3 or 6 months later and end up shagging.

[Star Gazer]

a number of times i've gone out with some woman once or twice and then never call her again (for whatever reason). then i run into her 3 or 6 months later and end up shagging.

 

After the pain you've seen me and so many other women here on LS go through, I'm so sad that you're actually proud of this behavior.

[Tony T]

Tony T, I think we would all agree u sound very intelligent about this topic. At what point does the chase end for you?

 

When the doctors no longer get a pulse.

[halfarock]

1)what is going on inside of a man's head subconsciously during the chase?

Probably something else.

 

2) What is the point of the chase and what does it prove?

It’s just a game, part of the mating ritual. I’ve never chased a woman who didn’t want to be chased, who didn’t encourage it.

 

3) At what point, inside a guy’s head, at what point is the chase over? Under what circumstances?

When the interest is over, the chase is over.

[Pink Amulet]

After the pain you've seen me and so many other women here on LS go through, I'm so sad that you're actually proud of this behavior.

 

Sorry this hurt you so much.

 

However doesn't only a few dates entitle you to bail if that certain indefinable something, or the je ne sai quoi is not there?

 

Any way, I find this subject fascinating.

 

Men and the chase.

 

The male instict says even to take up a challenge requires masculinity and brute.

 

I can see "the chase" from a mile a way now.

[DanielMadr]

Can he men out there help us women to understand the concept of "the chase". I know men love the chase. But

1)what is going on inside of a man's head subconsciously during the chase?

 

2) What is the point of the chase and what does it prove?

 

3) At what point, inside a guys head, at what point is the chase over? Under what circumstaces?

 

1) Im hungry, my family needs to eat, I will be honoured for such a good piece of meat,I hope lions wont be there first, I hope it wont be running for long

 

2) To hunt down, kill and eat the antelope. It proves we are good hunters.

 

3) When we are stuffing our belly.

 

MEN DONT LOVE TO CHASE. WOMEN LOVE TO BE CHASED. YOU CANT COMPARE HUNTING CHASE WITH COURTING CHASE. Its another game.

 

Chasing after women for too long is humiliating. Any women who needs to prove her quality by making herself unavailable - have to be chased, is not worth it. Because interested women make it easy for you.

Short term goal of the chase is to bed her.

 

There are men who claim they enjoy the chase. They are lying unless it is hobby of theirs to seduce multiple women. But its not a chase. It is not serious event. It is the game only then.

[DanielMadr]

One of the biggest mistakes that many women make with men is WAITING for him to make the first move or decide on what he wants to do about being together. But while you are waiting he has left or some other proactive woman has snatched him right from under your watch. Even worse the men who "make the move" on you are those you wish would not -- those who make you feel insulted and cheapened just because they approached you -- and the ones you really want and pray for are out there making it out with some woman who made a move on them (you know the woman you call a slut because she got what you want).

 

I hear excuses like "I was not brought up like that' or "women in my culture don't make the first move" or "men like women to be feminine" or "men don't like it when a woman acts desperate" or "I don't want to be seen as "fast" or "loose" or "men are historically the hunters".

 

Duh! Wake up. REAL feminine women have been making moves on men for thousands of centuries. And these are not just "desperate" women, but women who have made history and changed the world: from Cleopatra to Catherine the Great to Mae West. Many, if not most, of these women were not "classical" beauties. Far more important were their wit, brains, empathy and self-sufficiency -- the opposite of neediness and desperation.

 

The real reason you don't make the first move is because you don't know how, you are afraid of rejection and you have very little confidence in yourself and your ability to get a guy hooked on you like a drug. So what do you do? You spend a fortune on the right clothes and the perfectly engineered body but come Saturday night, you find yourself sitting in a bar being pestered by some characterless drunk trying to prove himself as a player.

 

Or may be for years you are snuggling up with this guy hoping that he'll say "Baby, marry me", but all you get is a routine bonk when he is not out drinking with his friends. And before you know it, the guy has lost interest and you are sitting there blaming him for it (but secretly kicking yourself).

 

If you are waiting for men to always make the first move, I am telling you here TODAY, "you are going about this love thing all wrong". Just like women, REAL men are flattered and charmed when a woman makes a sweet courageous move but they also want it to be a woman who exudes a magnetic field, a wonderful swagger that comes with saying, "I LOVE THE PERSON I AM AND I KNOW YOU WILL TOO". Women who exude this energy are considered truly emotionally and sexually liberated and are treasures for men who themselves are emotionally and sexually liberated.

 

When it comes to your love life (or any other area of your life) you should be proactive. I am not suggesting that you walk up to a man and pinch him on the bottom or get all grabby. There is a finesse, an art to seducing him with your dignity intact. You can set yourself apart and get ahead by simply being that woman who is confident, sexy and seductive without making him feel like a wuss for not taking the lead.

 

I think you will be pleasantly surprised.

About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of eBook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness™. Her unique approach to dating has helped hundreds create positive, constructive, honest and fulfilling

[SouthernT]

After the pain you've seen me and so many other women here on LS go through, I'm so sad that you're actually proud of this behavior.

 

100% agree with you SG. And if a woman never knows that a man was never interested from the jump and only wanted the CHASE, then it doesnt matter WHEN or HOW SOON you sleep with him because he just wanted to see how long the chase would last. That is the most SELFISH behavior that I've ever heard of.

 

But it also means the opposite can happen with the chaser, he/she could care less if you tried to be a challenge because the chaser has low interest/dropped interest - in one's mind you may think you're being chased, but in fact that was never the case to begin with.

 

You have a point. And this is when we call guys "players" because if a guy KNOWS that he is not interested and continues to chase anyway, then that's flat out WRONG and DECEPTIVE.

 

But on the other hand TONY T is saying that just because the guy disappears and to appear again, this in not necessarily a game or low interest.

[SouthernT]

a number of times i've gone out with some woman once or twice and then never call her again (for whatever reason). then i run into her 3 or 6 months later and end up shagging.

 

It's really sad that the world is just one giant playground for men and that they use this behavior to define themselves as "MEN". It's a waste of time and you screw over sooooo many women who have beautiful hearts.

 

But at the same time, we as women have to take responsibility for what we will and will not tolerate.

[monkey00]

You have a point. And this is when we call guys "players" because if a guy KNOWS that he is not interested and continues to chase anyway, then that's flat out WRONG and DECEPTIVE.

 

But on the other hand TONY T is saying that just because the guy disappears and to appear again, this in not necessarily a game or low interest.

 

Tony's description is dead on, which can be a possibility depending on the circumstances.

 

But what if a guy just wants to be friends with a girl and pull this kind of stunt, is he supposed to be some kind of player? It's out of context.

[Trialbyfire]

I dunno, this sounds so complex...

 

Just be yourself and if there's chemistry baby, it will burn.

[SouthernT]

One of the biggest mistakes that many women make with men is WAITING for him to make the first move or decide on what he wants to do about being together."

 

"The real reason you don't make the first move is because you don't know how, you are afraid of rejection and you have very little confidence in yourself and your ability to get a guy hooked on you like a drug."

 

 

"If you are waiting for men to always make the first move, I am telling you here TODAY, "you are going about this love thing all wrong".

"When it comes to your love life (or any other area of your life) you should be proactive."

 

I understand what you are saying about being proactive. Which to me, is simply giving responding to his advances and initiating some of your own but not TOO early on. 9 times out of 10, a guy is momentarily interested when a woman makes the first move, but will be soon turned off by her. I feel that it's best to let a man lead a woman into the relationship. But then again, it depends on what kind of man a woman is attracted to. Me personally, I am attracted to the "old fashion" type of guys that initiate a majority of things. And I decide for myself if I am interested in entertaining him.

 

But what if a guy just wants to be friends with a girl and pull this kind of stunt, is he supposed to be some kind of player? It's out of context.

 

Not really clear on what you are saying here? If a guy just wants to be friends with a girl, then I would hope that doesnt cross that line and send her the wrong message.

[SouthernT]

Tan & ArtCritic, where are guys at? I was really looking foward to your reponse on this thread.