Guest Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 Hello all im a 41 year old essex guy, and would like to tell you my story. Well i met a girl on this dating site over a year ago, pretty, 3 kids about 150 miles away. Well i went to meet her without any serious thoughts, but before i knew it i was involved going there 3 days a week, being with her 3 kids, aged 3-9-15 and an x who was always causing trouble. At first things were good, but soon after i started seeing her as herself. She was always low in her self, sleepy, and a bad mum in the way that she would go clubbing and leave the kids at home or with me on her weekends with the kids, and never really do anything with them. There was never a question in my mind that she loved me, and was always very possesive too. I would give her as much attention as i could, but i got into the family too, her kids and stuff and she had many problems which i tried to help with. I started sharing my love with her kids, They loved me too very much. She wanted me to move there sell my house and buy out the ex from the home. I refused as she would not divorce him and i felt that she was not tottaly commited to me. . Anyway soon after she dumped me by a call, i was surprised but in a way relived at the thought of no more nursing and problems too deal with. She is the type that made problems for herself, then would bury her head and expect eveyone else to sort it. Anyway i went up to see her face to face, she came up with the crap i want to stay freinds, i said i want a clean break, but she started crying and said i can be part of ellas life still (the youngest we were very close) i then agreed kissed her on the lips, and went back to essex. I was ok with the mates thing and we called now and again, but talk always went to the bed department! It was clear that we still fancy each other. Anyway i was doing a gig her way about 2 weeks later (im a pro bass player) and asked if it would be ok to vist her and the kids. She said yes fine. On the day of the gig (week later) I get a text im dating some1 new for about 2 weeks now but still would like to see you as friends. I thought ok, it seemed very quike to me that she met some1 new. I called her and asked her why she wouuld still talk to me about kissing and stuff when she had a new guy. She made out it never happend. At this point i decided to still see her as it would be good to see the kids. She said that it will be ok with her and the new guy. Anyway after the gig, i went to hers let myself in and crashed on the couch. next morning she came back from new guy at 9.am. I was just happy to see her and the kids, and was looking forward to a day of fun with them. Ten mins later phone goes. New guy, (Hes 41 still clubs and very controlling) he wants me to leave and not be with the kids. Anyway i left for home upset and hurt. I got home and text her, not how i want to be treated as a mate. Then i got back dont contact me again!! Of course it was 4 people i loved not 1 i was so upset and still am. I owed her money and text her for bank details to pay her back . heard nothing, i called her a week later. She was happy to hear from me and said she wanted to be friends but not yet. The new guy hates it. But she said strait out that she missed me. So i left it another week, asked again for bank details. 3days ago i got email ( after 3 weeks passed since i asked for bank details) new guy jelous, ill contact you but i need money sooner rather than later. I never replyed and thought well i will put it in this coming week. Yesterday another email. i hope i can trust you to pay it back to me i need it! Well i thought this is strange i treid to pay her back, heard nothing from her then 2 emails demanding money and making me feel she doent trust me to pay it. Well for 1 year i fought battels for her and the kids. It hurt that she would treat me like this cut off from the kids and im sure they still ask for me, after luring me into a frienship. I dare say she may call one day, but im out of it now, i was made to feel like crap and treated like it too. I will never contact her, i will just stick her money in the bank in a few days and be done. I have took the time out to greive for this relationship, and now i feel a bit clearer. But guys be careful of being asked to stay a friend. You may be there just to give confidence, and no more. At least i had the chance to not reply to 2 emails, and although she said not to contact her, i bet shes wandering why i havent relpyed back to her. So i feel that i have gained a little self respect back, done my greving and will in time meet some1 who will love me for the person i am. She did, and im sure one day she may realise who i was as a person. I protected her from everyone and the kids too. Mine was a true love. Ok i didnt club, or have a fast car or lots of cash, but i gave them real love and protection, and that wont go away fast.
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