foxylocks Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 I was married for 2 years and was dumped 2 weeks ago out of the blue, husband moved his stuff out within 3 days. I'm very confused and hurt. There's a guy I know socially (for the past few years) and he's making it pretty clear that he's interested. I'm having very strong feelings for him, but don't know if this is because I was dumped and am feeling lonely or if it's a genuine emotion. He's funny, witty and good-looking and I feel weak at the knees when he's around. Should I just keep this relationship platonic till the dust settles, or dive in feet first?!! There's no hope of reconciliation with hubbie. I seem to have become a walking hormone since my separation, can't stop thinking about this guy.... xxx
WarriorPoet Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 If you have real feeling for this person it is in your best interest to remane friends for awhile. The fact, he is more than willing to give you the attention you want right now is certainly playing into your feelings. If you want a strong relationship with this guy dont rush it.
polywog Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 First of all, I'm sorry for what you just went through with your husband leaving. It sucks, and so many of us here know what it's like:(. It's just my opinion, but I think you are too embroiled in the trauma to just jump into something emotional/sexual right away. You haven't given the details of the marriage here, such as whether it was dying for a while, it seems from your post that you were blindsided. If this guy is interested, and you feel as if you would eventually like to date him, then maybe you need to discuss the state you find yourself in with him. Surely he would understand, and give you the time you need to heal and divorce. If he's willing to give you the space and time you need, and not pressure you, then maybe it's a possibility. That being said, years ago I had a dear friend and roomate who was suddenly dumped by his wife, the day before I was leaving on a long trip overseas. He cried as he drove me to the airport, and I felt awful and worried about him during my trip. When I got back to the states a few months later I was staying with my mom for a few weeks. I called him up right away to see he was, and the phonecall sounded as if he was talking in a boat... lots of splashing sounds, then I heard a woman giggling. I asked him "what the hey" and he was in his bathtub with this great woman we both knew. I was surprised, and thought "oh well, rebound!". Well, they got married about a year later, and as far as I know, still are. That incident has made me rethink and question the hard and fast rule of rebound affairs, so I had to toss it into this post. I guess it goes against common sense, but obviously love happens in these situations!
Author foxylocks Posted May 29, 2007 Author Posted May 29, 2007 The story of my marriage and break-up is here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t120310/ I guess you're right when you tell me not to rush into anything. I should probably get some counselling to get my head sorted out before I take on anymore excitement! I'll keep you posted. Many thanks again. xxx Foxylocks
polywog Posted May 29, 2007 Posted May 29, 2007 I just read your thread, foxy. Wow. It made my heart ache, I related to it so much, as I have been through a divorce several years ago, and recently the end of a LTR I thought would be forever. I'm sending my best thoughts your way, dear foxy.
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