rehem Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 Hi, I have been going through this for a long time now. I need a break but dont know how. I am a guy and shared my room with another guy and being inthe smae field of work we shared and discussed work. I am 4 yrs older than him and he respected me and took advice on many things. He was lacking confidence and is insecure. I always gave him support and helped through his problems both work wise and personally. We shared a good frenship actually i consider him one of my best frens and he also says so. Somehow I once got a doubt that he is in touch with one girl whom i knew before... but didnt like her that much. When i asked him he said yes and the next day he said that he doesnt remember saying yes. From then on I ve been having this feeling that he is hiding this from me and is inconstant touch with her. I became so occupied with this thought that I started to think too much about it and felt that he didnt trust me and so is hiding things from me. I started looking for proof to prove him wrong and i always could see that he was lying but till date he never agreed. I had big emotional problems as He told me that I was imagining things and I started to introspect myself and started feeling really crazy. This thing went on with good and rough phases for a couple of years and now he is married and Im too and live in the same neighbourhood and also keep in touch. But now again Whenever I am reminded of what he did and is still doing (still keeps in touch with this girl who is not his wife by the way) I feel very vindictive bcoz i suffered alot. I dont know what to do...
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 This is going to sound strange, but it sounds like you reacted in the same way as a jealous and possessive lover would react. It doesn't sound like you are concerned about him talking to this girl behind his wife's back, so much are you are concerned that he is 'cheating' on you with this girl in a way. I'm not trying to be funny, but did you have feelings for this guy that were more than friends?
Author rehem Posted May 28, 2007 Author Posted May 28, 2007 No. I did not have any feelings for him. I get what you mean but Im straight. I shared a lot with him and he always gave an impression that I am his best friend. When I felt that he was lying...i told him right away and my problem was not being in touch with her but hiding it from me which was not at all necessary. Moreover, he made me feel that was i was paranoid and i was at fault. Being sensitive and emotional, I really started looking down upon myself. But now I am sure he was and is lying and I ve tried making him admit it but he wont. Now I feel I was stupid and I wasted a lot of time on this. Seeing him cheat on his wife makes me feel bad I wonder if I should tell his wife about it....or should I just keep quiet.
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 I guess it depends on your motivation. Are you genuinely concerned for the wife and her well being, or is it a matter of wanting revenge on him? Have you talked to him about it? Honestly, the wife should know that her husband is cheating on her. Have you considered an anonymous tip?
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