IsLoveHappiness Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 I've been living with my boyfriend for 5 years now... He's suffered a lot of depression and spent more time working than with me... But I really tried everything to stay close to him and make things work. Now I'm starting to feel as if I am the only one trying to make things work. This weekend we went to Venice. At first we were enjoyed ourselves. Then all of a suddent he changed. He's always suffered a lot the heat. It was hot and humid. All of a sudden he started to behave strangely. He was getting angry with me for everything. All the small things. He got angry with me because I asked him too many times how he was feeling and if he wanted an icecream or a cold drink. Then, we went to eat in a restaurant that HE CHOSE. I did not even say anything. And he got mad at me because I forced him to go to the restaurant that HE CHOSE where there was no air conditioning and because the restaurant was too expensive. This all culminated into him all of a sudden turning towards me and telling me: "I am going home". I asked him: "Which home?" I thought he just wanted to go back to the hotel and rest. No, he wanted to go back home where we've lived for the past 5 years and did not even ask me if I wanted to go with him or how I was feeling. It hurt me and I replied calmly: "Ok, then go, I am staying". He took the car on Saturday afternoon and left. He went back home and I remained in Venice. Yesterday, late Sunday night I went back home where we live and he was there. I thought he would have taken his stuff and move out but he was there as if nothing had happened. I thought he would at least apologize but did not even say a word. Neither did I... Now we're like 2 strangers in the house. I just don't know what I did wrong. And even if I had I think I deserved a better treatment then this. I am now thinking whether it's really worth taking all this treatment. I deserve better. I think I should just get out and move on. What's the point in staying with a person that does not respect me and does not care about me at all? I am just wondering, how could a person that tells me that he loves me so much, treat me like this?
InsanityImpaired Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 Horrible situation to be in. Words are easy to say, but it are the actions that count. It is easy to say ´I love you´, but it is really hard to truly mean those words. And judging by the actions, there is not much positive to be said. The restaurant incidents are totally ridiculous. Weather can have a huge impact on your moods - but I assume that `home´ actually does have airconditioning, is cooler et cetera. Plus he had quite a bit of time to ponder his actions. Is this an incident, or has similar stuff happened regularly?
Author IsLoveHappiness Posted May 28, 2007 Author Posted May 28, 2007 he had already done something similar in the past... although never to this extent.... he seems to have a double personality. When he's nice, he's just so nice and giving... and sweet and warm... but then when he gets angry, out of nowhere, for no big and significant reason, he becomes a totally different person. He does not care any more what his actions can cause or whether he hurts anybody... and what makes me even more sad is that in such situations, I am always the one at fault. Because I made him angry because I asked him too many times how he felt. Because I chose the restaurant. Because I woke up late and etc etc etc... I always do something wrong . What do I need to do? Just leave?
lonelybird Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 He was getting angry with me for everything. All the small things. He got angry with me because I asked him too many times how he was feeling and if he wanted an icecream or a cold drink. Maybe give him some space, things will get better:).
lonelybird Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 I always do something wrong . What do I need to do? Just leave? Do you think all his doing is right? and only your action can change whole situation in a relationship which involves two persons?
Author IsLoveHappiness Posted May 28, 2007 Author Posted May 28, 2007 This is not what I said. I meant to say that whenever I try to speak with him about our issues, it's always me who is wrong or who did something wrong. He does not seem to be able to analyze the situations in an objective manner and see how things really are... For insignificant or inexistent reasons, he just becomes another person, aggressive, cold and mean. I've tried to change the things but I guess I failed... I cannot be myself with a person that could fire up for any reason.
InsanityImpaired Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 He does not care any more what his actions can cause or whether he hurts anybody... That is one part of the answer. The next part is that according to him you are always the one at fault. It takes two to make a relationship work. And it seems he just wants you to do the work. And that will not work. As you have tried time and again, and you can only try so much, it may be time to leave.
LakesideDream Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 Sounds like a serious chemical imbalance to me. Has he had a complete medical workup? That might be a big help in your troubles.
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