obseleht Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 what's wrong with me? chicks don't like me. guys do. it just seems like some horrible coincidence that guys seem to be rather comfortable asking me out or letting me know what they think of me. even the shy guys. it's rediculous. but i'm a lesbian. i have no interest in guys, or straight sex, or anything like that.. and i can tell them this clearly, but they don't seem fazed by it. they try anyway, like they think maybe i'm lying about being a homo, or maybe i'll change my mind just for them or something. and girls don't like me. i don't think there are any girls who have actually wanted to be with me. and i'm not like ugly or handicap or anything like that, so that's not an excuse. it's not fair. i haven't been with anyone for about a year now. and the girl i was with then, i was only with once, and before her, i was with a girl once, a year before that. other than that, i kissed one girl, a sweet and short kiss, and that was forever ago. i haven't been with anyone else. part of the problem is that i'm just not attracted to anyone. i haven't actually met anyone that i'm interested in dating or hooking up with. i would almost think i'm asexual, but i do love women, in general, i guess. i don't know. girls aren't really attracted to me, and i'm not really attracted to most, either. and then suddenly, recently, i met this chick that i'm really crushing on like a kid in junior high school. but i feel so emotionally retarded. it's like these feelings are new to me or something. and i'm 22! a couple months ago i basically just told her how i feel and she said she just wanted to be friends because she just got out of a serious relationship, and i thought ok, that's understandable. then she hooked up with some guy she apparently didn't really like. this jealousy thing sucks. now she's asking me to be her room mate. she's confusing me. if i don't like someone who likes me as much as i like her, i will do something really mean so they stop liking me. it can be harsh, but it's the easiest way. they'd get over it. i don't think i'd be able to ask them to move in with me. i wish she would just do something mean. i'm lonely. it's depressing. i don't know what to do, how to change this attraction problem i have. i don't understand how. like how does someone approach someone else that they don't, or barely know, with the proposition of sex? i can't do it. or how do you approach someone you do know, with the proposition of sex? i can't do that either. i can ask someone out, or tell them how i feel, but the moves won't be initiated by me. they actually probably wouldn't be initiated at all, unless i was with a guy.. which isn't going to happen. i'm really lonely. i've had enough of this. this really needs to change and i don't know how. so yea.. i'm just have a depressive moment and posting this here for random input. i need advice, i guess.
lindya Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 how does someone approach someone else that they don't, or barely know, with the proposition of sex? i can't do it. or how do you approach someone you do know, with the proposition of sex? i can't do that either. i can ask someone out, or tell them how i feel, but the moves won't be initiated by me. they actually probably wouldn't be initiated at all, unless i was with a guy.. which isn't going to happen. i'm really lonely. i've had enough of this. this really needs to change and i don't know how. so yea.. i'm just have a depressive moment and posting this here for random input. i need advice, i guess. I feel for you, as I think the business of love and romance is difficult enough, without having your pool of choices limited by your sexuality. Women tend to be quite romantic and flirtatious with eachother anyway - but I think many have cottoned onto the faux-lesbian-as-a-means-to attracting-male-attention-and-reminding-them-of-porn thing. Life for genuine lesbians must be becoming more and more confusing as a result of all that. Bashing yourself with the idea that women don't like you personally isn't helpful. I think the truth is closer to being that most women are primarily heterosexual, and you will need to develop your instincts to find those who aren't. You've talked about feeling lonely, and I'm not sure a sexual fling with someone you barely even know will be the solution to that. Going to gay clubs might help you though. Not so much in order to pick people up, but to simply be around people who share your sexuality so that you can start developing your instincts in that respect. I'm not sure what else to say, other than that I do hope you find someone to be happy with.
Author obseleht Posted May 28, 2007 Author Posted May 28, 2007 I feel for you, as I think the business of love and romance is difficult enough, without having your pool of choices limited by your sexuality. Women tend to be quite romantic and flirtatious with eachother anyway - but I think many have cottoned onto the faux-lesbian-as-a-means-to attracting-male-attention-and-reminding-them-of-porn thing. Life for genuine lesbians must be becoming more and more confusing as a result of all that. Bashing yourself with the idea that women don't like you personally isn't helpful. I think the truth is closer to being that most women are primarily heterosexual, and you will need to develop your instincts to find those who aren't. You've talked about feeling lonely, and I'm not sure a sexual fling with someone you barely even know will be the solution to that. Going to gay clubs might help you though. Not so much in order to pick people up, but to simply be around people who share your sexuality so that you can start developing your instincts in that respect. I'm not sure what else to say, other than that I do hope you find someone to be happy with. i've been to gay clubs, and i just don't really like that scene. like i said, i'm just not really that attracted to very many people. the girl that i like, i know she isn't straight.. she just isn't very clear about her feelings towards me. if i was able to put the moves on her, at least i would have a better idea of how she feels, but i can't. partly because she told me she wants to just be friends and i feel like it might be inappropriate, and partly just because i can't do that with anyone. i'm not trying to say i want to have a sexual fling with someone so i don't feel so lonely, i just think the fact that i can't do that is part of the reason why i'm lonely.
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