richierh Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 I was in an on and off relationship with my first love for 3 years or so. We were 8 years apart in age. She was younger and I was older. Beside the fact of the age. She was my first love. Now it is 3 years later. I have been with different girls since then and she pop in the picture once a year or something. I have the done the stupidest thing like calling her the year after or messaging her with love and hate. Then giving up on the hate and just reflexing with my life. I guess, its the hard part of moving on but I did manage to do well. During the last 8 months, I have learned about myself and her. I have realized that she was not all the perfect as I thought she was. She was just a girl that randomly screwing around with different guy then rebounded back to me. I understand that she was not totally serious about me and her even so she said so. I do not think of her in the way that I used to think about her. I just think of her because my mind bring it up. My heart is not there or want to be there. I was hurt for a long time. Relationship with other girl were hard to keep together not for the reason of her but the fact that she was most fun to be with. I guess it was the age thing. She was younger and so on. Anyways, I come here for some suggestion on this problem that is lurking over me. I do not know how to deal with it. Like I said. I wish I can move in the proper direction. I have accepted the fact that she may never call again which is good to me. It tell me that she has no more interest in me and neither do I in her. My heart does not think about her. My mind does when I am in one of those slow moment when I am doing nothing. I find something to do to shake it off or someone to talk to. Just sometimes. I can not fight it and I am ending up getting emotional thought that bother me for 20 minutes or so. I do not call her even so I am attempted to but I really want nothing to do with her. You may say, move on and keep positive about it. I have faced my fear about her but I wish I would find a way to distract my mind. Even so it is going to be 3 years later after this summer. I would appreciate some positive comments.
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