Star Gazer Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK! What do I do, what do I do?? He called and didn't leave a message, and then texted me immediately afterward. He apologized for being out of touch, saying he's been working OT (the fires have been crazy), he's also been in training, and was at a wedding this weekend. What do I do, what do I do?
green-eyed beauty Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 Yay! I would wait until tomorrow and text him back, casually.
Tony Posted May 28, 2007 Senior Moderators Posted May 28, 2007 Please don't assume that the 135 million people on the Internet are familiar with your circumstances or know who "he" is. This post begs additional information. I, myself, am on pins and needles wondering what's going on here. Please leave more information so you can get better answers. Please don't post threads ONLY for the people you assume know what's going on in your life. Many thanks!
Trialbyfire Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 I would also hold off on returning his call or text. It allows you time to think about what you want from this guy, if anything.
johan Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 For reference, here's the back story. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t119861/
johan Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 What do I do, what do I do? Keep in mind the pain and agony you've been going through. I think you were entitled to a call of some sort. He wasn't on another planet. In fact, he was at a wedding. I think you should play it cool until you find out if he's sincere or just wants to go another round. So don't call or text back. He'll try again.
Author Star Gazer Posted May 28, 2007 Author Posted May 28, 2007 Please don't assume that the 135 million people on the Internet are familiar with your circumstances or know who "he" is. This post begs additional information. I, myself, am on pins and needles wondering what's going on here. Please leave more information so you can get better answers. Please don't post threads ONLY for the people you assume know what's going on in your life. Many thanks! My apologies, Tony. I thought that my two threads, with 422 posts and 6,567 views combined made it very clear who “he” was. First: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t119467/ Second: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t119861/ ******** Anyway, perhaps I jumped the gun here. I waited a half an hour, but I already responded, saying, "No worries, I have a ton going on right now as well." (Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say, but I didn't want him to know I've been waiting for him to call.) He instantly responded, "It's difficult to plan right now, but we should try to get together soon. Hope you're well too..." This message put a smile on my face...particularly because I have a date on Thursday (with someone else!). Why is it that when you've STOPPED waiting for them to call that they actually call? Not when you're pretending to not be waiting, but when you've actually stopped waiting? My phone has been beeping at me all day from other friends, I was in the middle of another text-convo with a girlfriend, so to see his name pop up there instead of hers freaked me out for a moment. I totally wasn't expecting to ever hear from him again...like, ever. His original text kinda went into too much detail re: what's been keeping him so damn busy. Whatever.
dropdeadlegs Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 SG, do what you want to do! Only you know this guy, we only know what you share with us, which I must admit has been a lot! I think at this point I would wait until tomorrow, but if I look at my past I would have been talking to him right now instead of posting. I'm bad when I'm smitten. I think you will only get the whole story and be able to make any decisions if you talk to him and see what he offers in the way of explanation.
green-eyed beauty Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 What you texted back was perfect! Now my advice is to wait for him to ask you for definite plans.
Author Star Gazer Posted May 28, 2007 Author Posted May 28, 2007 Keep in mind the pain and agony you've been going through. I think you were entitled to a call of some sort. He wasn't on another planet. In fact, he was at a wedding. I think you should play it cool until you find out if he's sincere or just wants to go another round. So don't call or text back. He'll try again. I think I was entitled to a call too. Grr. What's interesting is he had both the invitation for this weekend, as well as next weekend, on his fridge. Not until now has he mentioned either wedding. Usually that sh*t comes up in conversation, ya know? One of them is one of his best friends.
Road Rage Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 Stargazer If I understand this correctly, what he is saying is that everything else that is going on in his life is more important than you. Am I correct or do I misunderstand?
alphamale Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 SG, i think you should wait a few days to get back to him. Make it look like you're too busy to bother right now. If you call him back too soon then he'll know he has the upper hand.
alphamale Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 Why is it that when you've STOPPED waiting for them to call that they actually call? cause men have a 6th sense about that stuff...
Author Star Gazer Posted May 28, 2007 Author Posted May 28, 2007 If I understand this correctly, what he is saying is that everything else that is going on in his life is more important than you. Am I correct or do I misunderstand? Yes, that's exactly what he's saying. But you know what? That's the way it should be. I've only known the guy a month-and-a-half. Everything else in MY life should be more important than him as well...and it is.
Tony Posted May 28, 2007 Senior Moderators Posted May 28, 2007 My apologies, Tony. I thought that my two threads, with 422 posts and 6,567 views combined made it very clear who “he” was. First: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t119467/ Second: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t119861/ Many thanks for supplying the necessary links to learn more about your situation. Never assume everybody reads every post or that all people here are familiar with each person's situation or that they remember specifics. I hope you have received the help and support you sought in this thread.
Author Star Gazer Posted May 28, 2007 Author Posted May 28, 2007 cause men have a 6th sense about that stuff... Well, that's just lame. I know it doesn't seem like it, but he's lost a ton of my interest by now. He'd have an easier time pulling the wool over my eyes again if he'd contacted me sooner. Is this about reigniting the chase or something?
annabelle75 Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 Yes, that's exactly what he's saying. But you know what? That's the way it should be. I've only known the guy a month-and-a-half. Everything else in MY life should be more important than him as well...and it is. YOU GOT IT !!!! It seems you finally were able to step back and put it into perspective. Relationships don't happen over night. Odds are he'll still continue to flake on you (based on past experience), but now you know what to expect from him. And you have the option to kick him to the curb if you feel like it or you can see him again. Its up to you now. If things don't work out, you only wasted a month and a half on him. Enjoy your date this week.
Author Star Gazer Posted May 28, 2007 Author Posted May 28, 2007 YOU GOT IT !!!! It seems you finally were able to step back and put it into perspective. Relationships don't happen over night. Odds are he'll still continue to flake on you (based on past experience), but now you know what to expect from him. And you have the option to kick him to the curb if you feel like it or you can see him again. Its up to you now. If things don't work out, you only wasted a month and a half on him. Enjoy your date this week. I don't know what got into me with this guy! Seriously, once I have an orgasm (or in this case, multiples!) with a guy it's like I lose all sense of reality! I think I was definitely waaay ahead of him on the feelings-scale. Now I finally have put it all into perspective. Que sera, sera.
monkey00 Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 Is this about reigniting the chase or something? Since he is putting his life and friends priority over you, it's perfectly normal. In fact since he did it so much that he didnt contact you for such a long while, his IL is probably around the same as yours now. It's not so much about the chase, but moreso about catching up and seeing if he is capable of reigniting the interest. If not, then it was worth a shot. If so, all the better.
Tenorman Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 Why don't you just try to think and feel positive and joyful and let that guide you rather trying to measure interest levels, whose turn it is to call, wait so many days, playing aloof and busy etc. If joy and positive thinking cannot rule the day and bring good results from him then why bother being in the 'relationship'.
annabelle75 Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 I don't know what got into me with this guy! Seriously, once I have an orgasm (or in this case, multiples!) with a guy it's like I lose all sense of reality! I think I was definitely waaay ahead of him on the feelings-scale. Now I finally have put it all into perspective. Que sera, sera. hee hee .... I know how you feel. I've been known to get caught up in the thrall of great sex before.
DanielMadr Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 Waiting more then 24hrs to call back would be quite unpolite. You are obliged to return the call. Play hard to get later, excuse me, be busy and 'I dont need you' later. Its funny. When he wouldnt "disappear" you would either whine here that he is too clingy wuss and you are not sure if you want to continue with it:D
StartingOver07 Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 Stargazer If I understand this correctly, what he is saying is that everything else that is going on in his life is more important than you. Am I correct or do I misunderstand? Ugh. I don't know about you, SG, but this sure hits home for me. It's one thing if he's too busy because he's been in the woods 24/7 putting out fires (although even then I'd think he could find time for a text or two), but going to a wedding is, well, fun. A social event. Surely he could have found time to call you on what had to have been his day off?
green-eyed beauty Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 Yes, we'll have to see how this plays out. I am wondering if he is saying "hey, if we're dating, this is how it is. It's not going to get serious and you might not hear from me for weeks on end." Plus, why couldn't he have invited YOU to be his date for the wedding? there's no law that you can't bring a date to a wedding. He might be setting that tone. I just don't trust it. I know this will be difficult, but I would not be intimate with him if you do get together, he has some ground to make up. It would take me a while to trust him after his behavior.
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