SJen Posted May 27, 2007 Posted May 27, 2007 I have been best friends with this guy for 6 years, although we have known each other for 10. We became close so quickly, talking on the phone 24/7 and hanging out as much as possible when he was in town. Of course he now lives in another state, which makes things even more complicated. So soon after we started getting close, our relationship shifted. We always said we were just Best Friends, but we would put limits on each other like, neither one of us are allowed to get serious about another person right now. He would call me 5 or 6 times a day. Every single morning for 6 years I would get a wake up call from him saying I love you and have a good day. We talked about everything in the world. He knows me better than I think I know myself. Through every single thing that has happened in my life these last years, he has been there non stop and without fail ready to do anything to be there for me. And I woke up one day and realized I was completely and totally in love with him. I kept the feelings to myself b/c I was terrified of ruining this amazing friendship in my life. And while we were both officially single and had no commitment to each other, I found myself ignoring all other possibilities b/c I just wasn't interested. So while we are labeling ourselves friends, we weren't acting very friendlike at all, but more like a couple. Already long story short, he came home a few months ago and we had this amazing night. And the next night he ends up hooking up with some random girl in her car outside the club. And officially, we have no hold on each other, so I can't even rant and rave at him openly. He knew the instant he got back to my side how much he'd hurt me. I came to the conclusion the next day that I had to ask him to take a step back. I had to seperate our friendship from all the extra stuff that's been added over the years. I love him so much and yet I can't keep myself on hold for the possibility of him. He didn't like the step back and fought it and sent me songs and notes and texts that just made it all the harder for me, but I finally made him realize that I had to do this for me. And he accepted that and respected my decision. Things went ok for awhile, I cried everyday, but we still talked very regularly and we both made an effort to be "friendly". But now, its progressed to barely talking at all. I miss my best friend so much. And I am still completely in love with him. I asked him to take a step back not run away. What the hell should I do? **************************************************** I never got the chance to do anything. I had to go out of town unexpectedly and see my Grandfather who is dying and help take care of my Grandmother. He called me everyday to check on me and tell me he loved me, but I could never talk for long. Then I got back and the day after I got back home, they took my Grandfather off of life support. And he was great. Texting me all day telling me how much he loves me and can't wait to come home so he can give me a hug. Then, the middle of the night, that same day, he calls me, wakes me up and says sorry about your grandfather, but we can never talk again. I am asleep, so I am like WTF?!? I wake up, and I text him, is this a joke?!? And he says no, I love kristin (name of new skank) and we can't talk anymore. I then get all these HORRIBLE text messages from him. I called a friend, crying, she also knows him and we determine that it must be the new girl sending me these msgs. I decide to wait until morning and I text him again, telling him if he's going to end us, I want to hear his voice doing it and not a text, that he owes me at least that much. AND HE CALLED. And he sat there saying we could never talk again. And I could hear her voice in the background the entire time. The things he was saying were so unbelievable. I KNOW with everything I am that he doesn't really feel that way. And I know, without any doubt, that this new girl made him do this. But this is what it comes down to, she may have made him do it, but he STILL chose to do this to me. And not just end our relationship after 6 years, but to hit me with it when I am already at my absolute lowest b/c of my grandfather. And even though we were never technically together, this feels about as much like a break up as I can think of. And now I am heartbroken. I can't eat, I can't sleep at night. And I refuse to call him. I have too much pride. But I am dying to know how he is doing. I love him. And I hate him.
BlueEyedSarah Posted May 29, 2007 Posted May 29, 2007 Its he's loss, and the 'skank' is a control freak. What that relationship with her dies he will be wanting your friendship back, but when that comes will you be watching him beg you back so he can do it to you again? Or will you hold your pride and move on? I suggest you should move on, find new friends, better friends who wont chuck you after a 6+ year friendship! Don't contact him, he doesnt sound worth it if he will just drop a friend like a hat for a girl.
Not_That_Innocent Posted May 29, 2007 Posted May 29, 2007 A person who would do something like that is obviously rotten to the core! Think back - has he ever done anything similar that would make you think he's not a good person? When someone acts like that, it's not just out of the blue. It's either because they were a lousy person to begin with, or that they feel hurt in some way. Based on everything you have written here, it doesn't sound like you have done anything to hurt him. So that leads me back to the fact that he is and was a jerk from the beginning. Sure, the new girl might be egging him on, but if he was a good person he would have simply said that he didn't want to talk to you anymore and not send nasty grams. I suspect something else is going on, like maybe he treated you that way in the past but because you love him you chose to ignore it.??
Author SJen Posted May 30, 2007 Author Posted May 30, 2007 We definitely had our moments and fights over the last six years. But nothing to indicate that he would ever do this. Thats why it was so shocking. I never thought he would EVER treat me like this. In fact he has broken up with girls in the past b/c they demanded he give me up, and he wouldn't. This new one must be a really good lay. I am getting really bitter and pissed off. Sometimes I am just really really upset and crying, and then I am so angry that I know if I saw him, I would seriously hurt him. And then I am back to being upset.
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