Tropical_Mango Posted May 27, 2007 Posted May 27, 2007 Have you ever been in a relashionship with someone you considered to be a compulsive liar? as in you couldnt beleive a word they said? Thats how i feel about my boyfriend and of course it is ruining everything. The problem is that im not sure which one of us has the real problem. I wonder if im just suspicious and insecure thats why i dont believe him when he says he loves me or that he was just hanging out with his friends when i cant get hold of him. But on the flipside maybe he is just lying all the time! The thing is, hes never been 100% caught out on a lie, but does that just mean hes a "good" liar? This just is driving us both crazy.....
alphamale Posted May 27, 2007 Posted May 27, 2007 The problem is that im not sure which one of us has the real problem. .... you both do TM....he's got a problem and you continue to stay with him even though he's got the problem. I'd give each of you 50% blame.
Lady Aurora Posted May 27, 2007 Posted May 27, 2007 Forget about whether he is lying or you are just paranoid for a second, and ask yourself one question. "Where is the trust in this relationship?" It doesn't matter which one of you has "the problem". That uneasy feeling that he is not telling the truth will never go away. If it is driving you that crazy, it should be a big signal that maybe he is not the one. Personally, trust and respect are my 2 biggies. If a relationship has doesn't have both, IMO it won't work. Aura
Author Tropical_Mango Posted May 27, 2007 Author Posted May 27, 2007 Thanks guys. So do you think there are ways we can address these problems and stay together or do you think this relationship is doomed due to no trust (on my side). Even if we do break up and go our separate ways im concerned that we could just land up doing the same things with someone else……
jcster Posted May 27, 2007 Posted May 27, 2007 I've been in your shoes, but the boyfriend didn't turn out just to be a compulsive liar, but also a drug addict. Silly me, I thought he was just cheating on me... Either way, follow your gut instincts. It might be that he's lying (or worse) or you might be insecure - either way it doesn't sound like it's working. Have you tried talking to him about it?
Author Tropical_Mango Posted May 27, 2007 Author Posted May 27, 2007 Yes, he knows exactly how I feel and he says it upsets him deeply. He thinks the reason im so untrusting of him is because we live a long way away from each other and don’t get to see each other enough or spend enough time together. His remedy for this is that we get a place together and he relocates to my area. We have been together for 7 months and we have been through a lot of ups and downs, but I know I defiantly love him. Im just so confused as to whether I should throw everything away or try to find some kind of way we might be able to work things out. I think moving in together could be an option if we managed to sort things out but defiantly not as a solution........
jcster Posted May 27, 2007 Posted May 27, 2007 Do you have a concrete reason to think he's lying? Or is it just a feeling? Could the long distance aspect to your relationship be playing on your paranoia? You might just feel like you have no control over the relationship due to the fact that you don't actually get to see him very often. Try writing out a list of things that you're suspicious of and then all of the reasons why your suspicious and then the possible reasons why he might be telling the truth. This way, you'll know if this is a purely emotional response or whether you have actual reasons for feeling this way.
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