Ripples Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 Do you think she wants this "space" to do the classic psycho babble "searching for oneself"....or do you think she wants to do it so she can be guilt free when she winds up in bed with this other guy since her and her bf will be on a break? I think it is the latter and she wants to pull a Ross Gellar. Oh shut up and go away, you irritating little man.
hardcase Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 Oh shut up and go away, you irritating little man. Whats the matter?...can't answer the question?
My_Other_I Posted June 2, 2007 Posted June 2, 2007 Whats the matter?...can't answer the question? People ask questions to be helped and to get different view of things, not to be attacked by bitter creatures. But since you've never made a mistake in your life I guess it's OK for you to share your "wisdom" with others.
april sunshine Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 I have asked myself what I am gaining from spending time reading posts etc...I think part of it has to do with a 'once removed distraction'....meaning that I am distracting myself from 'thinking too much' about my own situation, while still 'scratching the itch' by considering and understanding other peoples situations that have a degree of relevance to my own. I am also trying to be open-minded about the posts I recieve to my own thread...good and bad, as I think it is important to consider a situation from various points of view. I hope that I am mature enough to question myself....sometimes those questions will only come from other people...
OpenBook Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 IMHO - This site is one of the best things that's happened to me in a long time. It's a vicarious journey into other people's lives that's SAFE for everyone, and I discover other perspectives that I would NEVER have known otherwise. It's been a great source of comfort and help to me over the last few days. Even the negative messages. (Makes me glad at least I'm not in THEIR shoes.) I'm currently in the exact same position as MsBHaven, HennyPenny, and Scaredinlove - tempted by that charming MM at work. Every day, every hour, and sometimes EVERY MINUTE, I make the choice NOT to get involved, to do the right thing. One thing that does help me in weak moments is, when I'm tempted to go to him for advice, or for something else that requires me to interact with him, I always ask myself "What's the best thing for the COMPANY" and go from there. Concentrating on doing the best job I possibly can at work has ALWAYS been a good thing for me. Hope this helps.
overandout Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 I am responding before I read the thread. So. Does the advice on here help? No, not right now. In the past I've listened and taken on board comments, but at the end of the day, I've just been looking for back-up or some magic way to talk him into leaving these past two years. Or looking for ways to convince him that HIS best action is to leave... all pointness. And in recent months all I've seen is people telling me that affairs are wrong and that I shouldn't be in one. Being as most of those comments come from people who have no clue about me or my relationship... no, I cant' say that posts here help me. In fact they're just antagonistic and laughable most of the time. Do I come here to talk about something I can't talk about in real life? No. I don't talk about the ins and outs of my relationship here. I have friends in real life who have actually met him and know me, and for one reason or another are in a far better position to talk about it than people on a message board who have their own fish to fry on affairs. Why would they be better people to talk to than real life friends..? The rest of your post I can't see as related to the first half. So you 'know' about karma, and doing wrong, and you can't help it and blah blah blah... what is that about..? If you want to be in the situation then you go into it, if not, then you don't... what does that have to do with friends, and internet boards..? And if you really feel the way you're talking, then don't you think it's more about the experience than anything to do with him and who he is as a person..? Is he someone you want to be with, and you really feel some good things coming from this, then what is with all the other questions..? Actually people have not been telling you that to be in affair per se is WRONG. This is a forum for the OP after all. What a big majority of people have been suggesting recently is that you are settling for being the OW because your mm is not leaving home for you. The majority of people dispute the fact that you are happy and are concerned that you are allowing yourself to be used by a man with no ba**s who tells you he's staying for the kids when it is equally plausible that he is staying because he is not that into you ( ie. he is not that in love with you). Most people have picked up on the fact that he was ready and willing to walk away after he made his decision to stay married, until you persuaded him that it wasn't hurting you to continue the affair. As you openly admit, you spent 2 years trying to persuade him to leave, so to suddenly change tact when he tells you he prefers going home to his wife/kids at the weekends rather than staying with you, is laughable. Most people agree that is humiliating for most OW but you are "happy" with it? I think you did and you DO still want him to leave. It is only since March this year, that people wonder what the hell you are doing with somone who has chosen NOT to be with you. So please don't generalise.
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