garnet Posted May 27, 2007 Posted May 27, 2007 Can anyone relate to this? Because I am really stuck. One of my closest friends is a dear person and has been a true friend to me over the past few years. The problem is that she is a very negative, unhappy person who gets irritated with me (and everyone else) about small things a lot. Because she is this way, I don't really enjoy the time we spend together much of the time. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells a lot when I'm around her, and I hate it. Last weekend she got irritated with me on the phone (over something stupid), and I suddenly felt really angry and ended the call abruptly. I guess it was the culmination of several episodes where she "scolded" me and I just lost it. I haven't called her back since. For the sake of the friendship I feel like I SHOULD call her back, but at the same time I'm just fed up with the negativity and feel I need some space from her. We have discussed her negativity several times before and how it impacts me, yet nothing has ever changed. I really believe it's just the way she is. Help please!
WhiteKnight Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 Well I had a simiilar situation to this and the best thing I did was stop talking to her constantly. One day my ex, who is now my friend had been quite negative about a few things where she kept repeatedly saying it over and over again. It's like an obsession in a way. After the odd few occasions of me scolding her very harshly about this whole negativity thing, she got offended and became quite annoyed with me for some time for telling her exactly how I felt. What people don't like is when you are being too honest with them about how it impacts on you but its more about "them" trying to get some advice from a friend. I will admit, I disliked the whole negative thing and it dragged me down totally (which is very hard to get rid of). I know she hasn't changed though she claims to me that she has, but my friends reassured me that she is still the same person as I was in the relationship with her and how she left me behind. The thing is now, where does the friendship stand at this point? Well, it can go either way. You could either stay away from your friend and if they ask you why... just tell them that you disliked the negativity conversations and the constant fighting, you got sick of her sh*t and just wanted to get along as a good friend to her, nothing more. Or another way, you just leave them alone and stay very distant from them. If you don't want to call her back, don't call her back and let her make the first move to comprimise if she values the friendship. Another way to consider is that you can try and talk things through in a way that for her to stop talking about negative things to you and try to be positive about it. If your friends doesn't respect you, well just leave her behind. You don't need that kind of behaviour around you. Believe me, you are much better without that kind of thing happening in your life constantly.
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