monmon Posted May 27, 2007 Posted May 27, 2007 Recently I broke up with my boyfriend of many years because he was emotionally unavailable and because he didn't want to move to the next step. The problem is that AFTER I broke up with him, he decided that he NOW wants to buy me an engagement ring and makes things better. He texts me wanting to hang out on the weekends and even left flowers at my door with a card professing all kinds of feelings that he neglected to mention during the latter part of the relationship. My question is, how do I handle his sudden "change of heart" considering that I feel like its too late and I have moved on. Is this something that men usually do after a breakup when they realize that they lost a good thing? I don't want to be mean to him but I do want to get the point across. Thanks.
McFadden Posted May 27, 2007 Posted May 27, 2007 I am not sure if its "something men usually do" but I've seen it happen. My old boss dumped her boyfriend and he suddenly showed up at work with flowers and all other kinds of expensive things he'd bought her. So yeah, he regrets it. If you really have moved on and don't want to give him a second chance then don't accept anything he tries to give you and don't agree to see him for now. You may have to be crisp to get the point across but don't do anything he could interpret as stringing him along.
oppath Posted May 27, 2007 Posted May 27, 2007 Stick to your guns. If it's over, it is over. You sound like you have moved on. You have to be firm with him though you know it will hurt him. Say "I understand you are hurt and that you didn't want the breakup, but the romance was gone. I'm sorry. I really valued our time together and do care about you, but I am not the woman for you, and I have to be firm about it because I want you to heal so you can find that person." Ok, maybe that is not the right thing to say, but there is no right thing to say. You have to be firm. Any false hope...he'll latch on to. Don't do that to him.
cuddles4u Posted May 29, 2007 Posted May 29, 2007 This is a tough one. I would stick with what others have said here. It's interesting this sounds like the "you don't know what you have until it's gone" quote.
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted May 29, 2007 Posted May 29, 2007 You've become unavailable to him and in that, have become a challenge. Its human nature to want what you cant have. I also think there is a part of him that realises that he may have lost a great thing in his life and probably kicks himself for realising this too late. If you have truly moved on, I wouldn't string it out for him. Tell him that there is no chance with you and that he should learn from what he did in the relationship that failed with you and take this knowledge to his next relationship.
Recommended Posts