loveinlife Posted May 26, 2007 Posted May 26, 2007 I have been hanging with this girl and I like her. We go out to movies and dinner once a week but she also hangs out with this other guy. I can't tell if she likes me or not. Her sister told my friend that she likes bad boys and thinks im too proper and nice, not the type of guy the girl i like is looking for. There is also a time when her sister told me that she is not looking for a relationship. Are these red flags already? We've kissed and held hands before, this is ussually when we are buzzed. There is also a time, when we were outside of a club, one of her sister said where is your bf to the girl i like and they were refering to the guy she hangs out with. What do you guys/girls think? Also, how can i tell if someone likes me?
peace_pipe Posted May 26, 2007 Posted May 26, 2007 Her sister told my friend that she likes bad boys and thinks im too proper and nice, not the type of guy the girl i like is looking for. Get used to hearing that. It just struck me how many women there are out there like this. Some eventually learn, some don't. I would run, run away! I personally believe EVERYONE wants a relationship. I don't care what anyone says, we all need and want them. When a girl says "I don't want a relationship" You should hear "I don't want a relationship with you, but I might bang this other guy when the mood strikes..... but you can continue to keep me company until it does, because I am an attention whore"
Author loveinlife Posted May 26, 2007 Author Posted May 26, 2007 You know peace, you are right! that is absolutely whats going on... I just got a phone call from her. She is going to hang with the same guy again... then she goes like we can watch a movie together on Sunday tho... its like she wants to keep me around, yet have her stuff finished with the other one... some bull crap. I guess i was nice and said, ok, we can do that on Sunday... sigh. I might be totally wasting my time with this girl bc im losing those moments as an opportunity cost. Thanks for the response peace. =)
peace_pipe Posted May 26, 2007 Posted May 26, 2007 No problem, I am keeping myself entertained tonight by trying to help others. Your girl sounds way young, and many young girls have this type of behavior. Keep in mind - you don't know what she is telling this other guy. Maybe she is all over him, or maybe she is telling him she does not want a relationship either. I am not sure which one is worse... ha ha Do your thing and bump into other girls..... Keep in light contact with this girl but be VERY unavailable. You will know it when and if she gets more serious about you, then make your move. Remember - when the games stop, love can flourish. Sometimes they never stop though.
peace_pipe Posted May 26, 2007 Posted May 26, 2007 You know peace, you are right! that is absolutely whats going on... I just got a phone call from her. She is going to hang with the same guy again... then she goes like we can watch a movie together on Sunday tho... its like she wants to keep me around, yet have her stuff finished with the other one... some bull crap. I guess i was nice and said, ok, we can do that on Sunday... sigh. I might be totally wasting my time with this girl bc im losing those moments as an opportunity cost. Thanks for the response peace. =) You should have had plans for Sunday.
Lizzie60 Posted May 26, 2007 Posted May 26, 2007 I have been hanging with this girl and I like her. We go out to movies and dinner once a week but she also hangs out with this other guy. I can't tell if she likes me or not. Her sister told my friend that she likes bad boys and thinks im too proper and nice, not the type of guy the girl i like is looking for. There is also a time when her sister told me that she is not looking for a relationship. Are these red flags already? We've kissed and held hands before, this is ussually when we are buzzed. There is also a time, when we were outside of a club, one of her sister said where is your bf to the girl i like and they were refering to the guy she hangs out with. What do you guys/girls think? Also, how can i tell if someone likes me? but if I have to give you only ONE advice it would be this one: be independant... don't let her know that you are 'really' interested in her (until you know for sure that she is) because she will see you as being a little bit 'desperate' or clingy. Sometimes, it is good to say 'oh this Sunday, I already had plans, but we can get together some other time'... just let her get 'tired' of this other guy first... she'll be 'more into you' after ...if you are 'independant'...it works everytime... I know it's easier said than done...but trust me on this one... you will be thankful for this advice...because it WILL work... LOL just try it... you got nothing to lose...
peace_pipe Posted May 26, 2007 Posted May 26, 2007 don't let her know that you are 'really' interested in her (until you know for sure that she is) because she will see you as being a little bit 'desperate' or clingy. Unfortunately, this is true. It simply amazes me how a woman would perceive a man who cares as a bad thing. This is a major reason I am still single, because I don't care much for games.
Lizzie60 Posted May 26, 2007 Posted May 26, 2007 Unfortunately, this is true. It simply amazes me how a woman would perceive a man who cares as a bad thing. This is a major reason I am still single, because I don't care much for games. but that's unfortunately what people do... especially young people...they play games. Women don't perceive men who cares as a bad thing... they perceive men who cares 'too much' or 'forcing it' like being somewhat a bit desperate or emotionally dependant. It's a turn-off... and it's also true for men. Men are more attracted to independant women.
peace_pipe Posted May 26, 2007 Posted May 26, 2007 Women don't perceive men who cares as a bad thing... they perceive men who cares 'too much' or 'forcing it' like being somewhat a bit desperate or emotionally dependant. It's a turn-off... and it's also true for men. Men are more attracted to independant women. Some women do go overboard on the independence though. The whole man who cares thing, we could start a whole thread just about that. For conversations sake I would argue this: Sometimes a man just knows what he wants. It is unfair to him to assume he persues every woman in the way that he persues you, it is not the case. And how can a single person be really emotionally dependent when they are single to start with? So it's not right for a woman to assume that a man who is coming on strong is needy, etc. Maybe he just knows what he wants.
Author loveinlife Posted May 26, 2007 Author Posted May 26, 2007 Good points raised here. Peace, she is young, 19 and very attractive. I am 26 years old. Never thought of getting at a girl this young before. I didn't care much about this girl until we kissed one night when we were together and that sparked some flame in me. Thanks for the advices and analysis Lizzie, I have been independent and was thinking that it didn't bring me anywhere bc we haven't proceeded into anything serious, except for lightly dating. So my approach was to come a little stronger and see what happens. Definitely, this is not helping and i do remember one time that this girl did get bored of the other guy and was wondering why i didn't call her for two weeks. I guess i need to show my independence and not let her know im available at all times to save the flames for later. I do want to make something work but in my head she is a young and may not be suitable for gf material. I appreciate the comments left behind, peace and lizzie, thanks =)
alphamale Posted May 26, 2007 Posted May 26, 2007 Are these red flags already? yea, pretty much. using the ruse of "friends" to get into girls pants rarely works. i would suggest you move on and next time just start out as a lover instead of a friend.
Author loveinlife Posted May 26, 2007 Author Posted May 26, 2007 Part of the intention is to see if anything can develop. Thanks for watching out Alpha, i understand what you are saying. Why spend the time when its not going anywhere?
peace_pipe Posted May 26, 2007 Posted May 26, 2007 Part of the intention is to see if anything can develop. Thanks for watching out Alpha, i understand what you are saying. Why spend the time when its not going anywhere? Yes, but remember the old Kenny Rogers song... Know when to hold em... Know when to fold em... Know when to walk away.... Know when to run.
Author loveinlife Posted May 26, 2007 Author Posted May 26, 2007 Yes, but remember the old Kenny Rogers song... Know when to hold em... Know when to fold em... Know when to walk away.... Know when to run. Nice. Looks like i need some practice.
Author loveinlife Posted May 26, 2007 Author Posted May 26, 2007 I will have to wiser next time with her.
Prise Posted May 27, 2007 Posted May 27, 2007 Why not reciprocate using her for the same reason she uses you? If you have free time, then hang out with her. However, if you have something better, then ditch her. Use her for the same reason she uses you, as a person with whom to fill and kill time. In my view, there are far worst ways to pass a Sunday afternoon than watch a movie with a young pretty girl, even if she isn't that interested.
Author loveinlife Posted May 27, 2007 Author Posted May 27, 2007 I went out last night to a club, saw the sister and asked where is her sis... turns out that the other guy confessed to her sis that he likes her and that she doesn't feel the same. Now she is trying to back away from him. Tonight im going to bring her to dinner and movies... the sister says thats excellent...so im going to see how it goes.
Author loveinlife Posted May 29, 2007 Author Posted May 29, 2007 Still playing cool, went to a house party and lots of guys hit on her, i just play cool. One guy really pursued her and when he tried to pursue more, the girl said i was her date... At the end of the night she ended flirting with one while i was there. I didn't care, ignored her and chill... The light dating thing that we have is so wierd... Its like i want more but im not sure if she does... How can i tell?
Recommended Posts