SouthernT Posted May 26, 2007 Posted May 26, 2007 What do you do when the one thing you've always wanted is finally right there in your face...but you've been through sooo much crap that you don't even know HOW to welcome and accept it? Sometimes I wish I was 18 all over again just to experience the care free way that we did things at that age with no fear. What do you do when you are sabotaging your own progress and for some reason, even though its a GOOD thing....it just doesnt feel right because your so used to the bad things?
Lizzie60 Posted May 26, 2007 Posted May 26, 2007 What do you do when the one thing you've always wanted is finally right there in your face...but you've been through sooo much crap that you don't even know HOW to welcome and accept it? Sometimes I wish I was 18 all over again just to experience the care free way that we did things at that age with no fear. What do you do when you are sabotaging your own progress and for some reason, even though its a GOOD thing....it just doesnt feel right because your so used to the bad things? ...that is sooooo 'profound'... ummm you HAVE to learn to accept and welcome the good things that life offers you... I don't know exactly how you can do that though... it's not going to happen overnight, you got to work on this. I don't believe in counselling that much (with a stranger that absolutely doesn't know you) unless it's a friend that can tell you exactly like it is... no sugar coating. There are good books out there.
underpants Posted May 26, 2007 Posted May 26, 2007 Hey, At least you are getting to the root of a personal issue. That takes alot of introspection. There are a whole lot of people that cannot begin to grasp this concept. Acknowledgement of a problem is the first step towards fixing it. So good for you. The 'Bad Things' that happen to us are also important to our development (and sometimes to others' developement). It's just part of life. It is how we deal with these....challenges...that ultimely define our character....a lifelong process. There is no going back and doing it over, so start now. The bad experiences that happen to us or bad deeds we have done that leaves a scar on our heart is a lesson as to what to avoid having and doing. Just as the wonderful experiences (even if temporary) give us a fleeting glimpse as to how we want to feel and do should we find it again. I think of it a perfecting a recipe. I just need to find that perfect ripe cucumber to begin again ....my attempt at....great relationship for me. Personally, I believe that life....more then toys, money or pieces of paper that say you did good, is really a journey of self discovery. I know I want to be proud of the path I walk and hope that I leave some postive impressions on those I meet along the way. That being said...I have stumbled quite a bit here and there, and even fell down a rabbit hole once...avoid those. What if you (somehow) transferred that sabotaging energy, (the doubts, seeking links to past hurts...etc) and maybe everytime you feel that anxiety, replace it with a positive idea or compliment. If you feel this relationship has the potential to be a good one then I say why not roll with it. True, you may be dissapointed, but if you go into it with that mindset you will almost ensure that as an outcome. People let you down from time to time, that is human nature. Everyone has their threshold of what is acceptable and what is not...thus the makings of one's integrity or selfishness....again this is an individual process. Also, this is where honesty, communication, and respect come into play, both for you and your partner. You don't find the perfect person, you make the perfect relationship ....along and along with both parties contributing. Mind you, I am so single...so I may have absolutely no idea what I am talking about. However, that is my fantasy. Don't settle for being treated badly because...you are used to it. Even you know that is not good, it's depressing. Sounds like your soul is doing a little growing by asking the important questions. Regards, Unders
Lizzie60 Posted May 26, 2007 Posted May 26, 2007 I always said that disappointments form our character...
alphamale Posted May 26, 2007 Posted May 26, 2007 excellent question ST but I don't have a good answer...
quankanne Posted May 26, 2007 Posted May 26, 2007 you ask yourself if the other person is worth making a leap of faith for, even if it means the possibility of something not going right. If the answer is "no," then just walk away and don't think about said person anymore.
lonelybird Posted May 26, 2007 Posted May 26, 2007 Relax and enjoy current minutes, days. Try to control our mind: don't let fear control it. All fear belong to our imagination, has nothing to do with current situation. Let it go: every past minute is PAST, look forward. If we hold onto past hurt, then all we can get is "stuck in the past" Stop overanalyse and criticize self: did I do right thing? did I mess up whole thing? Relax, indeed we don't have that kind of power to control the whole situation, so why sweat? (I believe God controls every event in my life:laugh:) Relationship takes time, no rush, no pushing self. Real love build up people, not crush people. When you feel rewarding, and comfortable in a relationship, and can be yourself, then you get a real catch. If not, then let it go. Good luck:)
Prise Posted May 27, 2007 Posted May 27, 2007 What do you do when the one thing you've always wanted is finally right there in your face... One of those enduring questions that will continue to confound all of us. I think Oscar Wilde put it best, "“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.” Best of luck to you!
Author SouthernT Posted May 28, 2007 Author Posted May 28, 2007 excellent question ST but I don't have a good answer... I asked this question because I am exeriencing it personally and I think that MEN experience it more so than women. Guys always say what they want in a woman and when it right there in front of them, they don't know what to do with it.
peace_pipe Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 I asked this question because I am exeriencing it personally and I think that MEN experience it more so than women. Guys always say what they want in a woman and when it right there in front of them, they don't know what to do with it. Same with gals...... maybe the sexes are just too much alike!! Anyone know any good, single aliens?
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