fantasyangel Posted May 25, 2007 Posted May 25, 2007 I've been wondering about what it is with girls and their apprehension about their boyfriend's ex's. I don't think it's just me when I say that I feel nervous and insecure about my boyfriend's ex. I've thought about it a lot, and for me, I had a relationship once where I found out later that my boyfriend was cheating on me with his ex the entire time we were together. So, in my situation maybe that's the subconscious workings of my brain that are making me insecure about future relationships. But it seems that a lot of girls talk about their boyfriend's ex's...worrying about stuff like "is she prettier than me? does he like her more than he likes me? is he still in love with her?" stuff like that. I know these questions have haunted me through my current relationship...and I'm looking for some insight and maybe some advice to get past these feelings.
katiebour Posted May 25, 2007 Posted May 25, 2007 I honestly don't think there's any getting over those feelings. The thought that your sweetie once loved, laughed, slept with, and cried over someone else is a hard thing to put aside, especially if they're still friends with that person. I think it's much easier if your SO did the breaking up- at least you know they didn't want to be with that person. But otherwise, you end up wondering if they want or would take that person back. My b/f is good friends with an ex of his. The only way I got over those feelings was the fact that A) she is a nice person and B) she's been over the moon about our relationship. Having her say things like "You guys are so perfect for each other!" Or "He's been waiting his whole life to meet you" kinda takes the fear that she wants him back out of the whole equation. But my ex-b/f was ALSO good friends with an ex- referred to her as his soul mate, and as she did the breaking up I was always uneasy with the situation.
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