Pursuing the girl of my dreams?

[thejoker244]

Here are the details of my situation, I posted this stuff a while back on one of the other forums, but instead of digging it up, I'll recap and update a bit..I apologize if its a little wordy: I met this girl through work about 5 years ago and we sorta drifted apart. However, I recently began talking to her again in August of last year, and on a daily basis in November. I was going to school in FL, 600 miles from home..and her. When I planned to come home for the holidays, she abruptly offered to buy me my first drink, and wanted to hang out. Well, it didn't happen over Thanksgiving, but we finally got together over Christmas break, and had a great time together.

 

At this time, we were talking on the Internet on a daily basis while she was at work and while I was in between classes in FL, and continued through my vacation. We ended up going to a local bar/dance club one weekend, and I met her friends. We ended up dancing and I bought her a couple of drinks. She spent a lot of the evening around me, and I realized that I was starting to like her. Later that week, she tells me that she had these sex dreams about me the night we were at the club together, and casually mentioned that there would be a lot of sexual tension between us when we went out that night. Our conversations got much more personal about likes and dislikes, etc. We ended up going out that following week and sleeping together.

 

I, realizing that I liked her, asked her out on a date after Christmas, and we had an amazing time with dinner and a movie afterwards. We had been talking a lot for the last several weeks, so I felt that I should tell her that I did like her, and I would be interested to see if anything could come of a relationship. She however had been dumped by her ex last summer (and had recently sent her an e-mail saying he missed her, further adding to her confusion), and was/is still in a place where she doesn't really want a relationship with anyone (so its not just me), but she was all smiles and we kissed for a while in the car.

 

Nothing changed over the course of my time home, and I took her out on another date for her birthday, which we ended up sleeping together again. Our daily communication via instant messenger and text message continued, and there were several instances where she would just randomly send provocative pics of herself to me, just to make me smile.

 

Shortly after the holidays, I returned to my classes for my final semester, but things didn't stay the same for long. She spoke to me online for about two days after I got back, and then slowly she started saying less and less, and then stopped messaging me at all. I would occasionally send a text message to her that would go unanswered, and she stopped taking my phone calls after the first week. Granted, I wasn't calling a lot..probably 3 or 4 times the first 4 weeks I was back, and I sent maybe 10 text messages in the span of 6 weeks. This behavior really confused me, so I decided with the advice of a few friends to just not try to contact her.

 

One afternoon I start up a convo with her and decide to ask her out one night when I come in for my spring break. At that time, she said that she wasn't sure if it was a good idea, and said that she may not feel like going out, and that if she didn't respond to messages or phone calls that she may be busy, with friends or on a date, none of which I have a problem with. She also mentioned that she was concerned with leading me on in case nothing ever happened with us. I send her flowers on Valentines day though, just to show her that I care, and that day she responds to me thanking me for the flowers, and mentioning how beautiful they are.

 

After that, I don't speak to her for about two weeks, although I comment on a pic or two on her myspace account and mention how beautiful a particular pic is, etc. Suddenly, one night when I'm driving home for spring break, she sends me a text message out of the blue, and we talk this way for probably 4 hours. It happens again a few days later. While I'm home on break, she was going to let me take her out to dinner, but had to cancel because she had to watch her brothers kids. That in itself is an improvement because she didn't want to go out the last time I was in town.

 

 

When I got back to school, she sent me text messages when she gets home from work on a daily basis, nearly all day long on her days off, and we have had a couple of weekends where we would be on the phone for 3, 4 and 5 hours at a time. Of course, she has a myspace account, and the last time she had time to access it, she had changed her name to something like "nothing matters anymore", removed all of her photographs, and posted a blog about how everything is crashing down around her, stating her mood was depressed. I called her to make sure she was alright, and she thanked me for being concerned, mentioned that something had "been hard for her" and continued to talk to me often.

 

One day when she had to work, I didn't message her, and she sent one to me later in the evening that said "Whats up? haven't heard from you". Personally, I'm hoping that she's tired of getting used and abused, and maybe she's finally coming around to the fact that I genuinely care about her. Of course, I don't know...but I have that hope. She seemed so concerned about talking to me and leading me on before in case nothing happened, but now she's talking to me nearly every day.

 

So I graduate from college at the end of the semester, and I've moved back home. I ask her one weekend if she'd like to go to a movie, and she in turn then asked me if I'd like to go shopping with her too. We had a great time that day, and I asked her at the end of our time together "would it be okay if I take you out on another date soon?" to which she smiled and gave an emphatic "yeah!"

 

A few days later, I went with her to get a tattoo done, and we went out to eat afterwards. I wanted to kiss her so badly that evening, but I didn't because the last time had been back in January, and I wasn't sure how she would react. I did call her about it and she said "well, I haven't thought about it in a little while..I'm still not really gunning for anything, but it certainly wouldn't be a bad thing".

 

So, a few days ago, I ask her out on a date. She said it sounded great to her, and she also mentioned that she was bored at work, so I swung by to chat with her for a little while. She was excited about going out and by the movie that we were gonna see, but we were going to go out after she got off work, and sometimes she has to work later than she's scheduled..so I sort of had a feeling that maybe she'd be too tired, but I was excited nonetheless.

 

On date night, I didn't hear anything from her after her scheduled time off, so I call and leave her a message, and then I call her work phone to see if she's still there. She said that she was pretty wiped out from work and had to swing by walmart because of a "female emergency", but she would text me later. Of course, she probably went home and passed out, as she has a habit of doing, so I sent her a message saying that I was looking forward to taking her out again, and asked if there was a day coming up when we could get together.

 

Today, I get a message back that she's been swamped at work (she works at a cell phone company, and I know the store she works at is super busy for sure), and that she may be already going out this weekend, but we could defiantly do something if that didn't work out.

 

So finally, I ask..does this situation sound at all worth pursuing? In December/January, she told me that she has had more fun with me than she's had in a long time, and that sort of scared her, because she wasn't ready to be in "that place again" just yet. My friends are telling me to not give up on her, because she's had a rough time and she seems like she doesn't quite know what she wants right now. Quite honestly, the more time I spend with her, the more I realize that I'm starting to fall for her. She knows that I like her, but I haven't told her that I've been falling in love with her, and I realize that if I were to do that, that it would most likely push her away. I honestly want to maximize any chance I have with her. Do you have any advice for me, or can you give me any guidance on what I should do next? I\'m thinking of waiting a week or two, and then asking if I can swing by and take her to lunch on her lunch break one day, or something like that..along with trying to be a little more aloof...but any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated.

[progressioncity]

I'd say that if telling someone you love them makes them flee then there isn't much point. I hate to sound harsh, I know that probably does, but...

[thejoker244]

True, but that reaction is purely speculation on my part since I know she's not looking for anything serious right now. The fact that she knows that I would like nothing more than to be with her and she continues to talk and want to hang out with me says that there is some kind of interest there...anyone else have an opinion or advice?

[progressioncity]

Maybe let her pursue you a little? That's an idea.