Do you ever get asked why you reconciled after your WS infidelity?

[mopar crazy]

A few years after my sister married a d*ckhead, she told me she was tired about everyone asking her why she married him, why she was still with him, why she allowed him to treat her the way he did. She said she wanted everyone to stay the f**k out of her marriage.

 

When he cheated on her several more years down the road, I was there for her to talk to and to support her. When she took him back I never asked why or how she could do that. When he left again for the OW, I was still there to talk to and support her.

 

Unless one is in EXACTLY the same situation, you shouldn't judge the actions of another. Though it is nice that I can call him a d*ckhead to her face now without fear of her reaction.

 

 

I think it's great you were there for her when she needed the support. My sister never really like my H either. But when I was going through his A she told me several times it's my life and I need to decide what I needed to do, she just wanted me to be happy.

 

My sister is remarried and her H can be a real jerk. I have had a few fights w/ him in the past and so has my brother and his W. He can be an ahole, big time. I know several ppl that dislike him VERY much. But he makes her happy and that is all that matters.

[silktricks]

No one ever asked, me because I told only one person. A person who I knew to be non-judgemental. Neither my family nor his family knows anything about what has happened between us, nor will they.

 

But if anyone did know, and EVER had the temerity to ask me that question - they'd get their head handed to them on a platter. My life and my choices are the business of no one.

[harleygirl92156]

No one ever asked, me because I told only one person. A person who I knew to be non-judgemental. Neither my family nor his family knows anything about what has happened between us, nor will they.

 

But if anyone did know, and EVER had the temerity to ask me that question - they'd get their head handed to them on a platter. My life and my choices are the business of no one.

 

I believe that was the point I was making as well. You shouldn't be talking about your private life (meaning between your hubby and you) to friends. IT IS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!! and if they know or have heard rumors and have the balls to ask you such a questions you should protect your husbands dignity and YOURS by politely telling them it is none of their damn business. The rumors die down quickly if YOU don't keep the bed of coals burning under them. Like I said, if you want to continue and work the marriage out, telling everyone is disrespectful to your WS.........yes I know they disrespected you by cheating, but if YOU make the choice to stay and work it out, you need to respect each other, hard as it may be for the BS.........if you want to trash him and make him miserable, end it.

When you talk about your WS affair/affairs, you degrade yourself more than you do WS.

I am sorry, I just have very strong opinions regarding this matter. Yes I was cheated on, yes I was angry, VERY angry, but I would have never discussed the situation with friends or co-workers, that is what therapists are for. I wouldn't hide it either........if someone had the never to ask about it or in my case, felt the need to fill me in on the sorid details, I would politely tell them "we are working on our marriage and I feel discussing this with you would be damaging to the progress we are hoping to make. It is private and personal between me and my husband and I will not disrespect him by discussing it with you or anyone else. I hope you understand."

I have said this and most understand. If they didn't I soon realized they weren't a real friend or one I wanted to have, they were simply look for the most juicy gossip to share at bridge club or afternoon coffee.

It just isn't anyones business but yours and your spouses.

If you feel what they did should be broadcast all over town then you shouldn't stay married to the person. Either forgive, truely forgive and not just do the mouth work, or get out for your sake and theirs.

[Trialbyfire]

I believe that was the point I was making as well. You shouldn't be talking about your private life (meaning between your hubby and you) to friends. IT IS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!! and if they know or have heard rumors and have the balls to ask you such a questions you should protect your husbands dignity and YOURS by politely telling them it is none of their damn business. The rumors die down quickly if YOU don't keep the bed of coals burning under them. Like I said, if you want to continue and work the marriage out, telling everyone is disrespectful to your WS.........yes I know they disrespected you by cheating, but if YOU make the choice to stay and work it out, you need to respect each other, hard as it may be for the BS.........if you want to trash him and make him miserable, end it.

When you talk about your WS affair/affairs, you degrade yourself more than you do WS.

I am sorry, I just have very strong opinions regarding this matter. Yes I was cheated on, yes I was angry, VERY angry, but I would have never discussed the situation with friends or co-workers, that is what therapists are for. I wouldn't hide it either........if someone had the never to ask about it or in my case, felt the need to fill me in on the sorid details, I would politely tell them "we are working on our marriage and I feel discussing this with you would be damaging to the progress we are hoping to make. It is private and personal between me and my husband and I will not disrespect him by discussing it with you or anyone else. I hope you understand."

I have said this and most understand. If they didn't I soon realized they weren't a real friend or one I wanted to have, they were simply look for the most juicy gossip to share at bridge club or afternoon coffee.

It just isn't anyones business but yours and your spouses.

If you feel what they did should be broadcast all over town then you shouldn't stay married to the person. Either forgive, truely forgive and not just do the mouth work, or get out for your sake and theirs.

Why? Because you have close friends you confide in? Get real hg. You can continue to be mamma to your husband if you want but that's your choice.

 

Cheating is completely separate from the marriage. Why you would feel that it's a reflection on you, lord only knows....

[Frances]

I believe that was the point I was making as well. You shouldn't be talking about your private life (meaning between your hubby and you) to friends. IT IS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!! and if they know or have heard rumors and have the balls to ask you such a questions you should protect your husbands dignity and YOURS by politely telling them it is none of their damn business. The rumors die down quickly if YOU don't keep the bed of coals burning under them. Like I said, if you want to continue and work the marriage out, telling everyone is disrespectful to your WS.........yes I know they disrespected you by cheating, but if YOU make the choice to stay and work it out, you need to respect each other, hard as it may be for the BS.........if you want to trash him and make him miserable, end it.

When you talk about your WS affair/affairs, you degrade yourself more than you do WS.

I am sorry, I just have very strong opinions regarding this matter. Yes I was cheated on, yes I was angry, VERY angry, but I would have never discussed the situation with friends or co-workers, that is what therapists are for. I wouldn't hide it either........if someone had the never to ask about it or in my case, felt the need to fill me in on the sorid details, I would politely tell them "we are working on our marriage and I feel discussing this with you would be damaging to the progress we are hoping to make. It is private and personal between me and my husband and I will not disrespect him by discussing it with you or anyone else. I hope you understand."

I have said this and most understand. If they didn't I soon realized they weren't a real friend or one I wanted to have, they were simply look for the most juicy gossip to share at bridge club or afternoon coffee.

It just isn't anyones business but yours and your spouses.

If you feel what they did should be broadcast all over town then you shouldn't stay married to the person. Either forgive, truely forgive and not just do the mouth work, or get out for your sake and theirs.

 

Some people need to tell other people and that is up to them. You did what suited you best.

Why I am still with my h is my business. I do not know yet if I will ever forgive him. We all have to give ourselves time to work out what is best and not be too hasty with our actions. If I had acted out on my initial reaction I would be in jail now and my kids without a father.

I have told only one close friend about my h EA, not to protect him (he does not deserve protection) but to protect myself from the gossip and the pity and to protect my kids who are all adults.

[silktricks]

Why? Because you have close friends you confide in? Get real hg. You can continue to be mamma to your husband if you want but that's your choice.

 

Cheating is completely separate from the marriage. Why you would feel that it's a reflection on you, lord only knows....

 

Lord and all of the people who thrive on gossip!! I don't agree in total with hg, but do understand what she's saying about privacy. Each person, though has their own decisions to make about talking or not.

 

If I was mopar I would have done the same thing she did. A statement of fact üa actually far less exposing then being evasive in the face of a pointblank question!

 

I didn't talk about it for many reasons, but at least some of those reasons was the desire to avoid being gossiped about.

[sunshinegirl]

Hi everyone,

 

I should have read this thread before starting my own. I am interested in learning more about what those of you who reconciled went through during that process. How long did it take (is it taking)? What have been the major hurdles? Do you think you've made it 100%? What kind of resources did you need to make it work - counseling, books, etc?

 

My suddenly-ex-boyfriend is unresolved about the ending of his marriage and thinks he needs to give it another shot. His wife cheated on him after their daughter was born 5 years ago, left him for the OM, and up until this week was still seeing him. She has apparently had some kind of change of heart, though, so they are going to try to work on things. I think her change of heart relates to either being dumped by the OM (who was married himself and may have decided to work on his own M) or seeing my BF move on and find some happiness with someone else.

[harleygirl92156]

Why you would feel that it's a reflection on you, lord only knows....

 

I do not feel his cheating is a reflection on me. I feel the way I handle it is a reflection on me. Huge difference! Just wanted to clarify that.

 

No one has to agree with me, it is just my opinion. I feel there is enough gossip going around, true and false, about my husbands infidelity, me staying, our marriage, that I don't need to add fuel to the fire by talking about it with anyone other than my therapist or my husband. Again MY OPINION.

 

I just feel if the marriage is truely going to work and be worked on fairly, the betrayed spouse isn't going to be talking about her husbands downfall, mistakes, errors in judgement, etc. with others. Put the shoe on the other foot. If you had cheated and your BS wanted to work things out, but went around telling all your friends, would you really want to work on the marriage with this person. It is a two way street, you must give respect to get respect. Yes they disrespeted you when they cheated, BUT you have offered a second chance, therefore, the past is now the past. Yes trust must be regained by the WS, but you must keep your trust in tact as well and you can't do that if you are talking out of turn, so to speak, to friends and family.

 

Trust me, my husband has NOT been mammaed through this ............ far from it. I see no purpose in that.

[harleygirl92156]

instead of the nasty, bitter one like harley's

 

Not nasty or bitter, just my opinion

 

 

Now, to comment on your reply hg. I did forgive WH for his A. When I was telling friends about his A and feeling he was a cheating ********* was during his A four years ago.

Why would a friend ask you why you reconsiled with your husband IF this was during the time of his affair???? doesn't add up to me

 

 

 

It has nothing to do w/ winning. I beat the whore of a OW before she even set foot into our lives.

 

Let me see, you beat her (but it isn't about winning?????) before she set foot in your lives...........but she slept with your husband??????? I think she had boTH feet, two arms and one other body part in your lives if I am not mistaken......you seem to change the story to fit the need as you go and you countradict yourself often....

 

 

She is a pathetic excuse of a woman! I know her personally...could of even been friends until I found out she was pursuing my H. The bitch doesn't care if a man is M or not, she will go after him, her words during the time of their A. She is a disgrace to decent women out there. She only thinks of herself, her twat and what man is going to fill it and make her happy. She doesn't care if their is a W or a GF. I'm not upset solely b/c she pursued my H and had an A w/ him. I disliked her the night I met her, three years prior to their A. I liked her for about an hour and that is all it took to find out what kind of slut she was.

 

Ok, you could have been friends with her??????? But, (here we contradict ourselves again) she is a bitch, disgrace to decent women, only thinks of herself, her twat and what man is gong to fill it, doesnt care if man is married...........yea my kind of friend. Oh but wait, you met her three years prior to hubbys affair with her and you didn't like her within an hour..........OH, NOW WHICH IS IT, COULD HAVE BEEN FRIENDS OR DIDN'T LIKE HER IMMEDIATELY.......can't have it both ways........

 

My friend asked me a harmless question. She asked what brought me back to my hometown and I simply told her the truth. My H filed a D to be w/ the OW so I moved back to my hometown where all my family was for support. I could of just said I felt like moving back and given no reasoning behind it but that wouldn't be the truth and I wasn't going to lie

 

It was the truth, you did feel like moving back, the rest is just you gossiping about your husband and looking for sympathy from others

 

I had ever right to drag his name through the mud during the time of his A, he deserved it! He hurt me, my children, his mother, my parents and siblings all for her. Why should I care what I said about him?.

 

Your not serious are you??? What makes you think you have the right to drag your husbands name through the mud. Makes you look bad, after all YOU are the one who chose him as your hubby and father of your children, then you drag his name through the mud only to take him back........hahahaha.........you must look like a fool to your friends.........NO WONDER THEY ASK YOU THE "WHY DID YOU TAKE HIM BACK QUESTIONS" I suddenly understand the whole situation!!!!

 

 

 

He was filing for a D to be w/ his slut..

 

 

But I thought you stopped her before she ever set a foot in to your lives........???????????????

 

 

Like I'm going to paint a pretty picture of his A to friends. .

There is no reason for you to paint any kind of a picture to his friends, let him paint his own picture if he chooses and it appears he already had, your imput just drug you down.

 

 

 

If I didn't tell them, someone would have. We lived in a small town, it would of gotten around. It was already around the large company they worked for. Everyone knew they were f@cking. .

 

So why did you feel the need to lower yourself down to the level of gossip??? Let someone else tell them, you save your dignity that way by not spreading gossip about your own husbands affair and then taking him back.....kinda makes you look desperate after all the things you said about him.

 

 

 

You are thinking I'm calling my H a cheating ********* to ppl to this day...I'm not. And if my H is living such a horrible existence he knows where the door is, he can use it

 

That statement says a lot for itself doesn't it!!

 

Why? B/c he knows I'm the best thing that ever happened to him. If I wasn't, he wouldn't of woke up and came back to me. He was out of the M, starting over w/ someone else..

My guess is she threw him out and you were an easy place to land and kids.

 

 

If I'm so a horrible b!tch he would of never came back to me. I am a b!tch, I will admit to that, but only when ppl try to take advantage of me. I wont let him run all over me, nor anyone else.

 

Ok, are you a bytch or aren't you a bytch? You say your not then turn around and say you are.........contradiction!!!!!!!!! AGAIN....

[Trialbyfire]

Lord and all of the people who thrive on gossip!! I don't agree in total with hg, but do understand what she's saying about privacy. Each person, though has their own decisions to make about talking or not.

 

If I was mopar I would have done the same thing she did. A statement of fact üa actually far less exposing then being evasive in the face of a pointblank question!

 

I didn't talk about it for many reasons, but at least some of those reasons was the desire to avoid being gossiped about.

I think this is where we differ. It doesn't bother me when people gossip because that's a fact of life. I honestly didn't care what it did to my XH. If he was worried about everyone's opinion, he should have thought of it before wandering around with his head up his hind-quarters.

 

Also, an affair is steeped in secrecy and that's what makes it so titillating to the participants involved. Once it stops being a secret, it looses much of it's fascination because the participants are forced to look in the mirror at what they've done and become. Also, the more eyes on the lookout, the better, since I fully trust my close friends and family.

 

Btw, we're not reconciled and will never reconcile. It was my choice not to, for assorted reasons.

[silktricks]

I think this is where we differ. It doesn't bother me when people gossip because that's a fact of life. I honestly didn't care what it did to my XH. If he was worried about everyone's opinion, he should have thought of it before wandering around with his head up his hind-quarters.

yeah, we do. I hate gossip, and I really hate it when it's about me.

 

Also, an affair is steeped in secrecy and that's what makes it so titillating to the participants involved. Once it stops being a secret, it looses much of it's fascination because the participants are forced to look in the mirror at what they've done and become. Also, the more eyes on the lookout, the better, since I fully trust my close friends and family.

If I had found out about the affair when it was still going on, my reactions, what I did, etc. may well have been different. Since my husband told me about it after it was over and done, my reaction was to not embarrass either of us by his idiocy. He was already looking at the situation through different eyes.

 

Also, I wouldn't trust my family as far as I could throw them.

 

Btw, we're not reconciled and will never reconcile. It was my choice not to, for assorted reasons.

THat may have been a difference for you as well.

[IpAncA]

It really bugs me when ppl ask BS "Why did you take them back?" Or "Why are you staying w/ him/her if they cheated on you?"

 

I understand they wouldn't understand unless they went through it. I myself have never had to witness it but honestly I would wonder why.

 

Reason I would ask is I feel so strongly against cheating that I can't understand how someone could take them back.

 

But like I said, I haven't been through it so I can't say for sure. All I can do is talk about what I would do.

 

I guess a good way to prevent people from asking is for the couple to keep it between them.

[Trialbyfire]

yeah, we do. I hate gossip, and I really hate it when it's about me.

 

If I had found out about the affair when it was still going on, my reactions, what I did, etc. may well have been different. Since my husband told me about it after it was over and done, my reaction was to not embarrass either of us by his idiocy. He was already looking at the situation through different eyes.

 

Also, I wouldn't trust my family as far as I could throw them.

 

THat may have been a difference for you as well.

No doubt we did have a different situation. If he had fessed up, who knows what might have happened...although knowing how I feel about infidelity, probably the same outcome.

 

No, the definitive non-reconciliation came far, far later than the exposure to the whole happy gang. I guess I have no sympathy for the mentally/emotionally challenged NPDs. They are welcome to enjoy themselves, by themselves.

[FireandIce]

I explained why, I told her, unless it happens to you, you will never know what you would do, stay or leave the M.

 

 

 

That's exactly what I say as well. Yes, it bothers me when people ask but I just simply tell them exactly what you just said. People that have gone through it totally understand. I would never wish it on anyone but unless they have been in the same boat then they can say whatever they want but it really means nothing until it actually happens.

[Melovator]

 

In my opinion, and it is just my opinion, BS who run all over telling everyone what the WS did to "poor little me" is just trying to find alias to side with them against the WS. Not condusive to working toward a healthy relationship.

 

 

Or youc an do what I did for months, sit on it and sit on it and sit on it until you actually can't function- I didn't want to tell anyone about it because it is thing between partners, but I got drunk one night with two friends and it came pouring out- and you know what? I actually felt better, I no longer felt like I was falling apart. There's a sisterhood out there you don't even know about until it happens to you and then all of a sudden its happened to everyone you know(if you're a chick- I'd have to presume there's a brotherhood too- maybe a family). I'm not trying to get allies- I'm not talking to peopla he interacts with (except his mother- which I explained why she knows in another post.) I wanted to work towards a healthy relationship so I didn't talk but it made me unhealthy.

[shellys-trying]

 

All I can say is ''I feel very sorry for your husband he must live a horrible existance."

 

 

 

How helpful you are, harley. I'm sure Mopar so appreciates your sarcasm.

[shellys-trying]

No spouse is "golden" when they cheat on their spouse.

I talked to family and friends after my H's A. I don't see anything wrong with it. Whomever does see something wrong obviously has no inckling of how it feels to be cheated on.

 

I think it's BS for anyone to assume it's only the M couple and their therapist's business.

 

The Betrayed person should speak with friends and family they trust about it.

I don't get Harley's whole take on it. Has she been a BS before?

[shellys-trying]

Or youc an do what I did for months, sit on it and sit on it and sit on it until you actually can't function- I didn't want to tell anyone about it because it is thing between partners, but I got drunk one night with two friends and it came pouring out- and you know what? I actually felt better, I no longer felt like I was falling apart. There's a sisterhood out there you don't even know about until it happens to you and then all of a sudden its happened to everyone you know(if you're a chick- I'd have to presume there's a brotherhood too- maybe a family). I'm not trying to get allies- I'm not talking to peopla he interacts with (except his mother- which I explained why she knows in another post.) I wanted to work towards a healthy relationship so I didn't talk but it made me unhealthy.

 

I was mortified to go around any of H's family. I didn't want pity and I didn't want them acting like H was pushed to cheating, which was BS.

 

It's one way or the other really, whether it be your family, his or friends or coworkers. Each person has their own opinion on the whys and wherefores, no matter that you the cheated or he or she the cheater goes and tells anyone about it.

[mopar crazy]

Yea, and opinions are like @ssholes too!

 

My friend did NOT ask me why I took him back during his A, it was three years AFTER. There was other friends whom I told about the A and that I was moving away. Those friends I told was when the A was going on.

 

What I meant by "winning" was that I beat the OW in life in general. She is a class A looser!

 

I never said I dislike her immediately. I disliked her as soon as I found out she was hitting on my H as soon as I left the company party and he got home about an hour after I did. I didn't realize what a skank she was just from that one time meeting her. H hadn't worked there very long, maybe a month or two so I had no idea about this woman.

 

The only reason why I moved back to my hometown was b/c my H was having an A. I was moving on w/ my life and he was moving on w/ her. I had no reason to stay there, all my family was here and I needed their support.

Maybe I shouldn't have said what I did, maybe I should have just told her my H and I were going through a D and I decided to move back. There was no other reason why I moved back. It wasn't b/c I wanted to, I did it b/c he was having an A. And would ya get over the sympathy bullshyt, plz! I was no way looking for sympathy from her. That was the last thing I wanted. I was giving her my reasoning for why I moved back.

 

Do you think I M my H thinking he would have an A? You say I was the one that M him and had his children, I shouldn't disrespect him by telling ppl he had an A. If I would of thought he would cheat on me after 11 years of M I would of NEVER M him. I didn't feel bad for dragging his name through the mud when he was having an A. He was the one that chose to be stupid and step outside our M. And it isn't as bad as you are thinking it is. I ran into WH's BF GF in the post office. I was getting address changes done. She asked me how I was doing, blah, blah, blah. I told her WH and I were going through a D and he was having an A. I wasn't going to sugar coat it. It's HIS fault for being a stupid idiot and screwing around on me. The only person that matters in all this is what my WH thinks. He NEVER once got mad at me that I told our mutual friends of his A. They all know, and they don't treat him, nor me, any differently. They are glad that we worked on our M. We had been friends w/ these group of friends b4 H and I ever got M.

 

Ok, where did I state that I stopped her b4 she ever stepped foot in our lives?

 

WH never even told his friends he was having an A. He was living w/ one of his friends and he didn't even know he was stepping out on me. He was in total shock. He kept the A secret. He lied to me, but I knew he was having an A, I had proof. Pictures do not lie. How did it bring ME down? I wasn't the one f@cking around, he was. The only person/friend who stuck up for WH in the whole thing was his friend that worked for the attorney he hired. The only reason he didn't look down on H b/c he was going to get $ for the case and H was his client.

 

Let me make this clear one more time. I AM NOT currently seeking sympathy from ANYONE. The A has been over for four years. I am past it. I'm not as hurt anymore, and it's more like a nightmare.

 

Gossip is usually hearsay, his A was the truth. How can you gossip about yourself and your spouse? That doesn't f@cking make any sense. If ppl knew about the A I know damn well they would ask me about it. I wasn't going to lie. Only one friend was wondering why I took him back b/c she, herself thought if her H cheated on her she would never take him back. Well, he cheated on her twice, and she is still w/ him.

 

Oh believe me, she did NOT dump his ass! LMAO! You are too funny, and way off!

 

I should of followed Shelly's advice and told you to STFU but instead I wasted my time trying to explain it all to you, again.

 

One more thing: Goody for you if you didn't want/need family/friend support when your WH had an A. W/ your attitude I bet you don't even have any friends! You sound like an OW that was just thrown under the bus by her POS MM.

[RecordProducer]

Call me weird, but... I think an affair can bring a new thrill in a marriage (currently I know I would dump his ass, but I am trying to see all the sides). The husband you were bored with, the one that you could take or not, the one that you stopped looking at when he undresses, whose jokes you don't appreciate anymore, cuz you've heard them all... suddenly becomes interesting to another woman. And you go like "Well, well... let's see what do we have here... I ain't giving it for free to any woman."

 

It's like somebody finding an old coin in your attic and offering you a $100,000 for it. You won't keep it in the attic anymore, now will you? You take it out and put it in the most precious box in your bedroom - now it has a value for you. You don't want to sell it, you don't really need it or want it, but now you KNOW it's expensive... then somebody tries to steal it and you fight for it. The same coin that you forgot you had.

 

Just one perspective...

[mopar crazy]

Call me weird, but... I think an affair can bring a new thrill in a marriage (currently I know I would dump his ass, but I am trying to see all the sides). The husband you were bored with, the one that you could take or not, the one that you stopped looking at when he undresses, whose jokes you don't appreciate anymore, cuz you've heard them all... suddenly becomes interesting to another woman. And you go like "Well, well... let's see what do we have here... I ain't giving it for free to any woman."

 

It's like somebody finding an old coin in your attic and offering you a $100,000 for it. You won't keep it in the attic anymore, now will you? You take it out and put it in the most precious box in your bedroom - now it has a value for you. You don't want to sell it, you don't really need it or want it, but now you KNOW it's expensive... then somebody tries to steal it and you fight for it. The same coin that you forgot you had.

 

Just one perspective...

 

Ok, RP I will call ya weird. There is NOTHING thrilling about your spouse cheating on you. But you have a point on what you posted. I wouldn't of been that way towards H if he would of been home more instead of out playing sports or getting drunk all the time. Since the A has been over and we have reconciled he is a changed man. He is home every night but does play golf twice a week for about 3 hours. I don't care. I go out w/ my friends also. He use to be home only 2x a week. When he came home he was totally trashed and I got sick of it. I was repulsed by him when he got drunk. He was loud, obnoxious, and I couldn't stand being around him. I seen him drunk more than I did sober.

 

He wasn't drinking when he met the OW, he had quit. I gave him a choice, me and the kids, or the beer. He chose us but less than 6 months later he started his A. Guess he went from one bad thing to another huh?

[Trialbyfire]

I agree with mc, RP. There's nothing sexy or thrilling about a man that cheats. For me, when D-day arrived, it literally made me sick to my stomach enough to vomit.

 

After that, the thought of him ever touching me intimately again was enough to make me nauseous. I kid you not...

[shellys-trying]

The husband you were bored with, the one that you could take or not, the one that you stopped looking at when he undresses, whose jokes you don't appreciate anymore, cuz you've heard them all... suddenly becomes interesting to another woman.

 

 

I never looked at my h that way, not once in the 11+ yrs we had been M before his A. I always looked at him like a lovesick fool. He always turned me on, made my heart go pitterpat.

I always wanted him. He never bored me, really and especially when he undressed infront of me.

Where his jokes are concerned, he never could tell one right, so that was no loss. LOL

[shellys-trying]

I agree with mc, RP. There's nothing sexy or thrilling about a man that cheats. For me, when D-day arrived, it literally made me sick to my stomach enough to vomit.

 

After that, the thought of him ever touching me intimately again was enough to make me nauseous. I kid you not...

 

Yeah, that was a prob after dday. I lost alot of weight in the space of a couple weeks just because the thought of someone I had literally worshipped for 11 yrs had touched someone else, been with someone else sexually. It was horrible!

 

I have gotten past that, the A ended 6 yrs ago this August.

[Trialbyfire]

Yeah, that was a prob after dday. I lost alot of weight in the space of a couple weeks just because the thought of someone I had literally worshipped for 11 yrs had touched someone else, been with someone else sexually. It was horrible!

 

I have gotten past that, the A ended 6 yrs ago this August.

Oh great, I have 5+ more years to go...