Hyothetical question (for those who are good at reading women)

[AndySA]

If you know this really hot girl, sort of --but not really --"dating", just hanging out and having lunch together every once in a while, never kissed her, never made out, just met her about 2 or 3 weeks ago during a night class, and one Friday night you invite her over to your place to watch a movie and she agrees. And over the phone, she manages to slip into the conversation a little comment that she "hasn't had sex in a long time", kind of half-jokingly

 

Would you construe this as a sign thats its okay to make some sort of sexual advance if you two happen to end up on the couch, your arm around her, or do you take her comments at face value: nothing more than a light-hearted joke?

 

thanks. ladies, feel free to chime in

[Lizzie60]

I don't really know if this was a 'pass' at you.. women sometimes jokes about that without any sexual thoughts. so if I were you, I would go slowly... test your limit. Put your arm around her shoulders...then wait, see how she reacts... then if she seems comfortable, kiss her softly.. see her reaction... she probably will let you know if she's OK with more... trust your gut feeling... not your 'head' (ha-hem).

[bluetuesday]

it depends where in the conversation it was said.

 

if you said 'would you like to come over friday night?' and she said 'yes, i haven't had sex in a long time,' it's a pretty safe bet she is linking the two in her mind.

 

if you were talking about other stuff and she probably wasn't thinking about friday night at that point in the conversation, or if something else in the conversation - unrelated to you - made her think about sex (for example, you were talking about a friend's sex life or the issue of celibacy for roman catholic priests) then no, what she said probably isn't related to friday or to you.

[Lady Aurora]

Hmmm... Well I am a woman, so figure I can read them decently well. I can be a big flirt too, but I would never say anything like that to a man that I wasn't attracted to. So, I don't think it is an invite to sex, but I do think it means she likes you.

 

Keep up the good work.

 

Aura

[Diamonds&Rust]

women sometimes jokes about that without any sexual thoughts.

This is cruel, if true.

 

Curious: what did you say back? Was it me neither? That's probably what I would have said, but that's not saying much.

[halfarock]

Every time a woman has mentioned to me how long it’s been since she’s last had sex I’ve always taken it not necessarily as an invitation but rather as a hint that she’s thinking about it. She is also saying that she hasn’t been with another man in how ever long, I guess a sign of availability.

[alphamale]

Would you construe this as a sign thats its okay to make some sort of sexual advance

yes...based upon the info you presented.

[Topper]

Not to long ago I had something very simler happen. I met this woman. She was really nice. we met for coffee a few times drinks a couple of dinner dates. I never made a move on her other then a little good night kiss.

I called her one evening She and I talked for a long time.Int he conversation. She brought up her lack of a sex life a few times. First that she and her ex had not had sex in a couple of years before the divorce. Then she had not been very sexually attracted to a lot of the guys that had ask her out. Next she told me that she is very sensual. I never started any of the sexual talk. It was always her.

So whats a guy to think? She is dropping hints, right? I had better make a move. I invite her over to watch a DVD. We are our on the couch she is sitting close and we do some kissing. Nothing heavy. When the movie is over I ask if she wants a drink. We have a couple of drinks and things physically start to progress. The next thing I Know she is saying she has to leave and is heading out the door? Confused you bet I was. Since then we have only talked on the Phone once. the conversation seemed forced and uncomfortable.

Take it slow it could be a hint It might be something else. No man alive has ever been able to break the Woman Code talk. They think we know what they are saying But we don't.

[Lady Aurora]

So whats a guy to think? She is dropping hints, right? I had better make a move. I invite her over to watch a DVD. We are our on the couch she is sitting close and we do some kissing. Nothing heavy. When the movie is over I ask if she wants a drink. We have a couple of drinks and things physically start to progress. The next thing I Know she is saying she has to leave and is heading out the door? Confused you bet I was. Since then we have only talked on the Phone once. the conversation seemed forced and uncomfortable.

Take it slow it could be a hint It might be something else. No man alive has ever been able to break the Woman Code talk. They think we know what they are saying But we don't.

 

 

Topper, either A. she is interested, but you went too fast, and now she is feeling self-conscious about the incident, and perhaps nervous that you will push too hard again, or B. she was feeling vulnerable and let herself get carried away, but caught it before she did something she didn't really want to do. Tough part is figuring out A. or B. Either way, she has lost some trust in your friendship. Call her, if you are really interested, and apologize. Yes, you don't have anything really to apologize for, but if you take the responsibility for going too fast and apologize anyway, that will help ease her mind and she may open back up to you.

 

I think one of the biggest mistakes guys make with with woman is interpreting the "green light" signal. Most woman give a green light and that means you can give the accelerator a gentle start. But, men seem to think they are at a drag race and want to go from 0 to 60 in 2 seconds.

 

Aura

[Yamaha]

If a women talks about her wanting sex you can be sure she sees you in a sexual way. I wouldn't take it as a sign she wants to shag yesterday but it definitely is in the cards. I would do as Lizzy suggested and see how she reacts to you. You can take your cue from her.

[norajane]

Every time a woman has mentioned to me how long it’s been since she’s last had sex I’ve always taken it not necessarily as an invitation but rather as a hint that she’s thinking about it. She is also saying that she hasn’t been with another man in how ever long, I guess a sign of availability.

Sometimes it's a sign of availability. It can also be her saying that she's not rushing into sex these days. Or she might want him to take note that she's not easy and act accordingly on their couch date. It can mean lots of different things, depending on context and tone.

I think one of the biggest mistakes guys make with with woman is interpreting the "green light" signal. Most woman give a green light and that means you can give the accelerator a gentle start. But, men seem to think they are at a drag race and want to go from 0 to 60 in 2 seconds.

I totally agree.

 

Take Lizzie's advice and take it slow.

[halfarock]

Sometimes it's a sign of availability. It can also be her saying that she's not rushing into sex these days. Or she might want him to take note that she's not easy and act accordingly on their couch date. It can mean lots of different things, depending on context and tone.

 

Exactly. The art of “reading a woman” is to take in and be sensitive to all of the subtleties of the situation and of the woman herself.

 

A few years back I tried to meet women through an online dating service. I found it to be an impossible task as I’ve come to realize that in order to discover if I like someone or not it is best decided by experiencing the interaction that happens between us, much of which is not spoken.

 

When reading the OP I was thinking specifically of two different instances where a woman had told me how long it had been since she last had sex. In both instances the woman was available but nether rushing into it nor easy. In both instances, eventually we did have sex but not the same day as her statement of last having sex and played no part in the thoughts that were going through my head leading up to the first sexual contact.

[mtb-crazy]

working towards it slowly is the key. Maybe she only wants to make out at first. I gennerally let the girl run the show after that. If she starts grinidng on you while youre making out theres a good chance she wants you. My typical approach would be to take control, flip her over so youre above her and lightly rub that sacred spot. If shes truley into you she wont object, if not believe me she'll let you know. If its a subtle reaction like moving your hand away you're still good, if she gets up and leaves, you're pretty much finished. If she flips you over and returns the favor you're pretty much in.