GuerreroAzteca Posted May 24, 2007 Posted May 24, 2007 Hi, I wanna thank you in advance for helpin out I've been in a serious relationship with my lady for 5.5 years now and worked through some rough issues. The latest being that she started to feel that it was all about sex, me on the other hand started feeling completley rejected. We are both working through college and are mostly busy but still manage to spend the majority of our free time together. Recently, I hit bottom started getting way stressed because of the feeling of rejection, my job, college, and still rebuilding our house since katrina hit and I'm not as attractive as i used to be. I let myself go and gained about 35 Lbs. Also dealt with a cancer scare for the past 13 months. Conicedently, I got depressed and started getting some rough anxiety attacks. She has had a rough family life so she is sentimentally fragile and takes a lot of patience to get through a conversation with her. We are both very clear that we love each other very much and want to eventually get married, but at times its very rought for us to work things out. She has been on the pill for about 4 years. She has steadily lost desire for sex with me while my attraction for her just grows. She has told me before its hard to keep up. This lack of desire on her part gives me grave feelings of rejection, however because she cared for me she sort of just 'gave' sex to me, later on i found she felt preassured to have sex with me and ergo she feels devastated and dissapointed with our relationship. She says she needs to feel that connection again. We decided to stop having sex because of the way she feels. We gave our virginities to each other. I come from a latin culture where things are a bit conservative and would like to have no other partner and marry her. When we were younger sex just sort of happened. I feel i was not ready for it. She on the other hand is from mainstream american culture and she feels she does not fit in with my family. its a bit of a biggie for me. Her family is eFed up and she hates being overthere. So she says she needs that connection She says I'm moody all the time She says sex needs to take a back seat she says she does not fit in with family Her family is eFed up but she loves me very much and wants to work it out so do I. so we stop having sex and focus on our connection, we are taking some time off, which i'm going to use to get healthy mentally and physically so my confidence can rise again. This time off under the terms that we are still 100% exclusive to each other and we will still get in touch if we feel bad for some reason (such as my mood state right now) she always manages to help. sort of a relationship reset i guess. So, Your opinions plz are we heading in the right path or should i make a diff choice? I need someone from the outside to see and tell me.
DanielMadr Posted May 24, 2007 Posted May 24, 2007 START DATING HER AGAIN. She probably lacked it. You have to date, go out, have fun, cuddle, kiss. Romance, man. Taking a time off is always bad sign. Ask her out, go on date, make her hot, make her initiate the sex. Suggest marriage and kids.
Diamonds&Rust Posted May 24, 2007 Posted May 24, 2007 You should not let the fact that you want this to work out blind you to whether or not it's actually working out. Also, don't think marriage will solve any of your problems, you should be completely confident in your relationship and its longevity before you do that. Have you considered asking her to get on a different birth control? Birth control pills are notorious for decreasing sex drives.
Author GuerreroAzteca Posted May 24, 2007 Author Posted May 24, 2007 we've discussed the pills, but have not really made a change. Right now she is very sensitive on the whole subject. So the time off is a no no?
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