hardknocks Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 It has been a while now. Long enough to look back and know that I'm different now, in the way I think and feel about her. I'm starting to forget a lot of the details. The things I swore I never would. In the beginning, we wrote it all down. She kept a book of 'us'. She wrote about how much she loved me in that book. Ticket stubs, pictures and little notes detailed our time together. We were magical together. At least that was how it felt. And writing it down I think, somehow made it more real. I opened that book the other night. And I have forgotten a lot. Maybe because I try to forget. I'm moving on. And that's good. And that's bad. And that's just the way it is... I guess. The truth of the matter is I loved her. That's the phrase that enters in my mind several times a day still. I almost want to shout it out sometimes. I didn't get a chance to tell anybody. It was always a secret. And even though it was my decision to end it, I feel somehow, like I was jipped out of the chance to tell somebody, anybody, everybody my truth, the truth... that I loved her, Because I did. So much. It must be part of the process. The grieving process. Because I mourn the loss of the woman that told me she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me and have my children. I was ready for that. And like a death, I mourn her, the relationship and mostly the dream we had together. My god I miss the dream we had together. And that's what I wanted to say tonight. I'm not sure why.
GreenEyedLady Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 As long as she knew that you loved her, that's all that really matters... (((HUGS)))
messit Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 ...I almost want to shout it out sometimes. I didn't get a chance to tell anybody. It was always a secret. ...I was jipped out of the chance to tell somebody, anybody, everybody my truth, the truth... that I loved her, Because I did. So much. I hear ya.
Recommended Posts