fray718 Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 So you have this girl that you find very attractive and you REALLY like her, but perhaps she did something that led you to believe that she may not be the perfect girl for you it seems (ie she told you her parents don't like her dating out of her race and YOU ARE)....and you initially wanted her as your gf but perhaps after that and some other things you decided not to....the time comes when she asks whether you are a couple (and you two have become physically intimate before)...you tell her that you dont see her that way....she is ofcourse devastated. BUT you tell her that you really like her and you still want to hang out and you two continue to date. You make a sexual move on her and she gets really angry at you because she does not want to be fwb but you sincerely tell her that its ok and that you're fine with just hanging out. Yet you tell her that you've been in these relationships and it never worked out and that is why you do not want a relationship with her. You really like her alot and you only date her and no one else even when are ok with no sex with her and you get jealous of thoughts of her with other guys. In this scenario, most people will say to the girl 'look, hes just not that into you...let him go'.....but really, if you are a guy and esp if you've been this type of guy yourself....what exactly ARE you thinking and feeling? Are you really not that into her? Or perhaps it's not that black and white and maybe there IS something else? Thoughts from the guys please.
thekhris Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 he wants to do u.and dont want to in a relationship with you.he is just saying that he dosnt want nay sex to mis lead you to his intentions.but all he is just interested in is to boink you.Since youre giving liitlle signs that youre into him even though he has no plan of getting in a relationship with, youre a free sex and what he got to loose.
Star Gazer Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 He doesn't think you're right for him. Logic should dictate to you very clearly that this means HE is not the right guy for YOU. It shouldn't be this difficult at the very beginning of a relationship, Fray. At the very beginning, it really should be all sunshine and roses. No drama. You deserve that.
MissKissNada_Gal Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 my guy did the same thing with me fray. except now we r in a reltionship. he had to think about it 4 a week before he decided. hed asked me to be his girlfriend twice before and something with me always got in the way. first time i had to think about it, second time, i forgot to give him a response the day after. it slipped my mind, (he didnt bring it up either) lol WOW i know. but basically give him time, and he will realize how much he "misses u." being more than just a friend he wants to feel on.. and soon pursue a REAL relationship with u. im not talking girlfriend/boyfriend. but he should want to be with u, not just friends... if not, LET HIM GO. he doesnt deserve u one bit, plus he too confusing, u need some1 clear! thats how i felt/feel
Date-Tastic Dave Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 He may just be out for the sex. I would say it depends on how often you guys hang out. If its more than half the week - he doesn't just want sex. How often do you hang out? If he is hanging out with you ALL THE TIME, and doesn't want a relationship, its because he isn't ready for a relationship, yet. When you're young, doing your own thing, real relationships can be a hassle. This way, he's getting the companionship he needs AND he doesn't have to worry about you letting you down, or regarding your emotions, or all of the other little things involved with an emotional commitment.
Author fray718 Posted May 23, 2007 Author Posted May 23, 2007 Well this guy was from over a YEAR ago, its over now, but I guess I just want some sort of understanding or closure as to how he really felt about me...whether he just wasnt into me or whether he really liked me but could not commit to me. Honestly, after he said he didnt want a relationship, I didnt let him go near me sexually and he was sincerely ok with it and we hung out ALOT eventhough he got no sex from it. He was perfectly ok with just hanging out with me but I guess it got to the point where I felt empty being with him because he wont give me what I wanted so eventually it ended. He initially hinted after we dated for 3 weeks at wanting me to be his gf but at the time I wasnt ready and when I was ready I guess he changed his mind about me. I think now I just want to understand what was going on his head...I mean he would get very jealous and one time when a person called he even grabbed the phone out of my purse to see if it was a guy calling (it was my mom)...everyone told me he's just not that into me but I guess it's very hard for me to accept because he was the one who would call me to hang out and he even told me when I wanted to leave him that he finds me very attractive and that there's just something about me. When I asked him why cant he just have a relationship with me then and he just put his hands to his face and looked very upset and said he knows it wont work out. He never dated any other girls the whole time he was with me. After it ended, we were at an event together 9 months later and i was talking to a guy and he stared over at me and he looked very upset/jealous that I was talking to that cute guy. At the time he said its ok if we can just hang out (no sex) and he held my hand then to beg me to stay with him but I couldnt take it anymore and I walked away. Even to this day though a 1.5 years later, I sometimes cry when I think about him. It's been so long already and I know that while he has dated other girls none of them became his gf. He's been single all this time.
Recommended Posts