soulseeker Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I am posting this at work, sorry if it seems jumbled. I started dating a really wonderful guy about a little over a month before he left to go home for the summer. We didnt really say, "let's stay together over the summer," but I told him I wanted to pick up where we left off when he got back. He agreed. The night before he left, he made several references to us doing stuff when he got back, etc. Since he left, we have talked quite a bit on the phone, nearly everyday. Thing is, I am not a phone person. I really dislike sitting there talking about what happened that day. And I dont want to have serious conversations over the phone because you miss so much that way, i.e. body language, etc. I feel like it can take them steam out of a relationship (whatever it is we are). While he was here, we had so much fun just learning about eachother through experiences and talking, and that is how I want to learn about him and for him to learn about me. I am afraid that my loathing for the phone might kill what we have. I dont have fun talking on the phone in romantic relationships. Anyone have any advice as to how to deal with this? Or to change my attitude. Maybe I am looking at this the wrong way? He will be back in August. And just to be clear, I am not looking to date anyone else. I see this guy as serious ltr potential. We really click in person, I am just not feeling it over the phone . I miss the nuances of face to face.
oppath Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I understand. I'm not a phone person either, especially early in relationships. I really hate to get to know someone over the phone, and you are still in the getting to know each other stages. All I can recommend is you find some new activities to enjoy, sports leagues or art classes, that way when you talk, you have something exciting to talk about, something big about that day to share! I especially hate the phone when things are really good, or really bad. It's those times I want to reach out and kiss someone or hold them. I like 10 minute conversations to arrange our next face-to-face date! Though with the last gf, I could have 45 minute talks, I've never been one of those people who could talk on the phone until 4am! I can't do it. I get tired, not bored, but I need non-verbal language to sustain things. Just relax and see how it goes, and keep yourself so busy you have lots to talk about (and maybe make him a bit jealous).
Author soulseeker Posted May 22, 2007 Author Posted May 22, 2007 "I get tired, not bored, but I need non-verbal language to sustain things." Yeah, exactly. And I get frustrated when it's good or bad too. Actually, everything you said, are concerns for me. The newness, and gettingto know eachother over the phone, etc. Do you think it would be a good idea to address my concerns with him? This would be his first "serious" relationship.
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