KaneNAbel Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I'm on this cheesy thread starting kick. I've only been on LS for two months due to a recent situation of mine. And although reading a bunch of these posts/threads have helped tremendously, I still come across some that set me a little back. I constantly saw the same advice of improving your own life and not worry about the other person. Hence, this thread. Okay, so I'm almost 2 months into NC and I initiated NC since the night of the 'break'. And I'll admit, I still think about how I was wronged and there's bits of pain here and there, but I'm made huge improvements. This is what I've done for myself for the last two months: I've picked up my guitar and began playing again. I barely touched it in the last two years. I'm taking Jiu-Jitsu classes. I've dropped 7 pounds. I switched departments at work got less responsibility in order to study for the GMAT so I can apply to get into MBA school and I still got to keep my six figure salary! I reconnected with friends I haven't talked to for years. I even met up with my first girlfriend and we actually had a great conversation in which I actually HELPED HER with some lingering insecurities she had in our relationship. Mind you, this relationship ended approximately six years ago. She also apologized and said she didn't appreciate me like she should have. (I didn't need an apology or to hear that but it was nice). I've been making conversations with more and more strangers when I'm out to help rebuild my self esteem. Yeah, I'm borderline bragging I think. But hey, this is anonymous and I wouldn't do this to my friends. Also, I'm trying to give ideas for other people to improve their lives as well as get ideas for myself. The alternate would be trying to get the SO back and sending them letters, calling them, etc....but have this mindset: Whatever they're listening to or reading from you at the moment, they're thinking: "I don't care. I'll say something to seem like I care and to spare your feelings, but please get this over with."
cecil brown Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I've long had anger/self esteem issues that ruined my 1st marriage, and most recently cost me the woman who I truly feel was the "one". I have never loved someone like I love her. It's been tough. Not a day goes by where I don't feel remorse for hurting the people closest to me. I finally admitted to myself that I needed help. I recently completed a 6 week anger management program and I continue to attend bi-weekly counseling to help with my self esteem issues. I've also gotten a part time job that's customer service oriented, so I can improve my social skills. I know I still have a long ways to go, but I think after years of denial, I am finally on the right path. And while losing people close to me hurts like hell, sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to see the light.
jon3105 Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I've focused mainly on the gym and become completely addicted if im being honest. Its the one place I never went with my ex and so the one place I can unwind after a hard day and forget about her. I've dropped 1.5 stone of blubber and starting to put on a bit of muscle so far so im feeling very good about all that. Its only been 3 weeks since the breakup so i dont quit feel im ready to jump back out into the open world yet, but in a couple weeks I hope to get a barmans job in a pub/club in a bid to improve my social life more than anything and general social skills (im quite a shy person and find it difficult to start talking to people sometimes). I've also enrolled for the Access Course at college which is a year long and will grant me the opportunity to then go on to university, although im still toying with the idea (not 100% sure if its really what i want).
Trialbyfire Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Yahhhhh!! I got a divorce and now my life is 100% better.
thatmatt Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 after my relationship ended, I analyzed everything about it, pretty much mentally wrote a book, and have come to the point where I am completely at peace about it, knowing that I learned so much, and I wasn't perfect, but I worked my ass off. I regained a lot of things I lost because of the relationship. I am a lot more comfortable with myself, and look forward to spending time with people just as much as having quality time for myself. I am building my future, going to a college that I love, in a place I love (a complete 360 from my freshman year), and am financially preparing myself, a great feeling of independance and a lot of positive energy. Do I still think about her, yes, at times I do still hate her. I've let go of my regrets, and although I was pushed down, I'm getting back up, and standing taller than before.
2ndIINone Posted May 24, 2007 Posted May 24, 2007 I bought a puppy. She sits, lays down and stays... only talks back a little. She gives me nothing but love along with a few occasional 'accidents' on the floor. She's now 3 months old, so she's a magnet for cuties when I take her to the beach. #1 female in my life. If there is one thing I've learned about people... it's that you can tell ALOT about how a person will treat others.... by the way they treat a dog.
a4a Posted May 24, 2007 Posted May 24, 2007 I have finally come to the conclusion that it is OKAY to relax and enjoy yourself. Still grappling with it... at this very moment actually. I should be working instead of this.....one can never accomplish too much.... must work harder, faster, and be more efficient. oh the pain...... the guilt........ I need to be tranquilized.
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