katballoo Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Everyone, including me are big advocates of no contact. Tell me I did it right please.... This may be long.. I broke up with my boyfriend at Christmas due to him being rude an uncaring the day before CHristmas. He said some careless things, and had been kind of careless leading up to CHristmas. I guess I needed to draw a line in the sand and say this is not acceptable to me. So we broke up. I fully expected him to come back say sorry, and move on. He didn't. And while relations were cordial between us, he moved out and I spoke to him and saw him a couple of times during Jan. We decided to continue on our planned Feb holiday as 'friends'. Before we left we had spend one weekend together. Nothing was discussed about the breakup - except he said he was hurt (he was hurt!) he had apologised for what he said over Christmas but still didn't initate getting back together. It left me wondering whether he was waiting for me to say something. We slept together a couple of times that weekend before we left, and while we hadn't chatted, we kind of intimated we would talk about it while we were away. We went, but he was distant and aloof. The day before we came home, I checked his phone and found out he was seeing someone. Obviously quite a lot, and the texts and messages dated back to Christmas. When confronted, he said, it wasn't serious, we weren't together anymore so what? He apologised for hurting me, said he still loved me, but didn't think we should be together anymore. I said he had been sending mixed messages, and I understood now why it had ended so suddenly over Christmas. Up until the week before we were in love and happy. (or so I thought) Now I understood, he had met this girl and obviously thats why the breakup happened. So here is the thing. I stopped crying and yelling, pulled it together. (he said on hols, that he was going to call it off with as it was just someone to pass the time with when we broke up) He said, it wasn't serious etc etc. But stilldidn't want ot get back to gether. Anyway we came home, were friendly, kissed each other good bye and he again apologised for the hurt and said how fantastic a time he had with me. We made a plan to catch up that weekend with the kids, (he has some and so do I and after four years - they are like each others family and miss each other terribly). The next day, I thought about the deceipt - he was sleeping with her, sleeping with me, hiding her from me and vice versa. He said it didnt start when we were together , that they were just flirting and sending emails and texts to each other until we broke up. (all indicators are that they began sleeping with each other straight after we broke up or even before though) So I changed all my contact nos the day I returned from the holiday. I didn't tell him, I didn't discuss it. I just did it. That was three months ago. I keep thinking that he was an ******* to me in the end. But the four years before, we shared life, ups, downs, births deaths and marriages and what we always said was we were each others best friend. It was intense. Now I have nothing. I expect once he realised what happened that he is so angry and hurt with me (like he has a right to be!) So people - did I do the right thing - or should I have told him how much he hurt and let me and the kids down. I am kind of angry that I never vented and said you betrayed us. You told lies etc. If he wanted to he would turn up at the door, but I expect he is so angry with me, as he thought we were still going to be best friends, regardless of who we were dating. I really couldn't have handled talking to him in those first few months, but should I bother with letting him know why I cut him off. (I can tell by the phone divert records that he has tried to call but now to save myself from pain, I deleted that option so I can't tell if he calls the old no or not) Do I just let him drift out of my life forever, or do I get to vent? Will I feel better if I tell him at least once how much he hurt me?
Recommended Posts