Guest Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I've never done anything like this before, so bear with me. Almost a month ago, my husband and a good friend and I went out one evening. We had a lot to drink, and there are parts of the evening I don't fully recall. The next morning, I felt terrible, both physically and mentally, somewhat depressed and ashamed of having drank so much--it had been over a year since I had a hangover. Anyway, about 3 days later, my husband told me that he kissed my friend that night. He told me that I had been talking that evening about the two of them having sex and reminded me of other times when I've expressed interest about having an open relationship. At first, I didn't really react to the revelation--I didn't really know what to say and kind of pretended like it didn't bother me and wasn't a big deal. After sitting on it a few days, I began to panic. I realized that it made me feel sick and angry. The day after he told me, i came home from work late and he wasn't home--he came home later and was in a jovial mood (not his forte'). The next day, he called me like 6 times at work (again, unusual), and when I finally talked to him, I told him that I was actually really upset about "the kiss" and that I felt betrayed, despite having talked about an open relationship and suppossedly them hooking up that evening. I also found out he was at her apartment the evening before. I asked if they had sex and he said they did not. Anyway, it's been almost a month, and I've talked it out with him and he's "assured" me that he loves me, is attracted to me, doesn't want her, it was just a kiss, blah blah. For the most part, things have been really good between us. As for my friend, I've made a phone call to her, but haven't talked about it at length, and feel quite reticent to do so. My husband is angry at me for this and feels I have no right to be upset at either of them since I said things to indicate I'd be okay with it in the past. I've maintained that I DO have the right to be upset, and that my emotions cannot be censored. I also told him that in order to have an open relationship, trust and rules are key, and we never set any boundaries beforehand. Because I'm still uncomfortable with the resolution (or lack of), I've been checking his cell phone and found they've been talking every few days. Should I be concerned? Do I have any recourse in this situation? How do I stop feeling so suspicious and regain trust? How much responsibility do I need to take in this situation?
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