on what i did wrong?

[yourhandinmine]

ooops i screwed up the title - "help me figure out what i did wrong" would probably be better.. anyway..

 

First of all, i'm very inexperienced at dating.

 

I just recieved the dreaded text message that i was expecting about how she's "not feeling it".

 

long story short. Started talking to a girl 3 weeks ago, realised she liked me 2 weeks ago, asked her out last thursday, went out friday. Over the weekend she lost all interest in me. Ok so the problem was in the date?

 

I took her to a nice modest restaurant and had dinner/talked for an hour. Afterwards i took her to see a movie. Then we headed back to my place to play pool for about an hour and then i played her a few tunes on my guitar. At about 12:30 she decided that it was time that she went, so i asked her if she enjoyed the date, yes was the answer. I said that we got off to a good start and she agreed. This is probably her just being polite. So what did i do wrong?

 

During dinner we talked about travelling, sports, her interests and her friends/family. I asked most of the questions and let her talk, then i added my bit. I wasn't intrusive with any questions and it was pleasent. We then walked to the movie (this is where i try to hold her hand i guess?) Being cautious i did not hold her hand during the walk, and during the movie i did not put my arm around her. I was just being careful as it was a first date. I didn't get any sign from her that it was ok to do anything.. so i didn't. what i'm thinking is my lack of actions here may be my downfall. She seemed to enjoy the pool games we played, sunk 7 in a row to beat me one time! Lastly the guitar was cool, i played a nice little tune. The last thing i know that i did wrong was that i didn't walk her out to her car,... instead i walked her to my door and said bye, and turned the outside light on for her to walk up the driveway. (10 minutes later i realised what i just did and wondered wtf i was thinking )

 

What i think is that i just wasn't romantic enough. Even though i though first dates should be for fun and to enjoy each other's company. Or, she just doesn't like me after getting to know me more. Any feedback, i want to learn from my mistakes so it'll never happen again.

[Krytellan]

Well, first I would suggest that you realize that not everyone is a match. Sometimes girls will not like you and it's not really your fault, just more like you're not their type. Nothing to be done about that.

 

From the best I could tell in your note, the only thing I really see is that you seemed to act very reserved. If she is attracted to a more "take charge" kind of guy, she wouldn't be into you. Again, not your fault, just an incompatibility.

 

For future, if you want to do things differently, I would suggest initiating contact on the first date. Don't be so shy. Just plant little touches here and there. You would be surprised the effect that can have if they are interested in you.

 

I had my girlfriend tell me recently that on our second date, when we went to play pool, that every time I touched her it gave her that "throw-up" feeling like Stan has in South Park. This was obviously in a good way, but it was cute of her to tell me that. Never underestimate the power of subtle touching.