BurriedAlive Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 I would really like everyone to know that there is hope. Since my last post, I have lost my job because of the A. In fact, MM didn't even have the courage to tell me himself that he couldn't work with me anymore and had his partner do it. He basically just stopped talking to me. If I would see him in the hall, I would say hi but he would not reply. So, because I lost my job and I live in a small town, I am forced to sell my house and uproot my 3 1/2 year old yet again after only being here for 9 months. My very long list of losses include a job I really liked, my house, my best friend and a piece of my heart. But do you know what? I feel better now than I have felt since the A started over a year ago. Nothing was worth the h*ll that I have gone through in the past year. Nothing was worth the broken promises and being used the way I was used. MM never loved me. He loved himself more than anyone in the entire world including his W and he will take care of #1. Now, even if I am alone and unemployed, my insides feel better, my head feels better and my heart is beginning to heal. To all the OW & OM out there, there IS hope and it DOES get better. And being alone is much better than being someone else's side dish.
stillhere Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 BA, i'm so so sorry this had to end like this. What a coward. I'm sorry things turned out the way they did and you had to lose so much to gain the strength to leave a bad situation. I wish you luck in the future and i hope everything works out for you.
GreenEyedLady Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Just curious...Why do you have to be the one to sell your house? If I were you, I wouldn't let anyone run me out...This is the 21st century...Why must you slink away with your tail between your legs?
whichwayisup Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 GEL, her moving is what she needs to do and for the sake of her child, it is better this way. Staying in a small town, having to deal with gossip etc., isn't gonna be fun for her, or for her child. Moving gives hers a peace of mind and a chance to be happier! Don't look at it as leaving with her tail between her legs! She has alot of inner strength to leave and make a better life somewhere else.
Author BurriedAlive Posted May 22, 2007 Author Posted May 22, 2007 I am not really going away quietly. I have hired a lawyer and we are fighting for wrongful dismissal and sexual harassment. This town is so small. I can't get a job here. If I wanted to stay here, I would have to travel 1 hour each way to a new job. In the 4 weeks between D-day and when I was fired, I received anonymous harassing emails about being a whore and was shuned very badly at work. Even today when I meet my coworkers on the street, they won't even wave. It's not very pretty but in 6 months everything will be fine again.
greengoddess Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Sexual harrassment? You voluntarily slept with a man you knew was married. What did you expect to happen? You both should have been fired to be fair. To sue him is ludacris. Take responsibility for your own actions and the repercussion caused by them.
Jinxx Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I am not really going away quietly. I have hired a lawyer and we are fighting for wrongful dismissal and sexual harassment. I was going to suggest you do this and glad to see you have. Not all MM behave in this manner. I'm sorry this is the end result for you. You sound strong and confident. Something better awaits you, that is for sure. Hugs.
Lizzie60 Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I would really like everyone to know that there is hope. Since my last post, I have lost my job because of the A. In fact, MM didn't even have the courage to tell me himself that he couldn't work with me anymore and had his partner do it. He basically just stopped talking to me. If I would see him in the hall, I would say hi but he would not reply. So, because I lost my job and I live in a small town, I am forced to sell my house and uproot my 3 1/2 year old yet again after only being here for 9 months. My very long list of losses include a job I really liked, my house, my best friend and a piece of my heart. But do you know what? I feel better now than I have felt since the A started over a year ago. Nothing was worth the h*ll that I have gone through in the past year. Nothing was worth the broken promises and being used the way I was used. MM never loved me. He loved himself more than anyone in the entire world including his W and he will take care of #1. Now, even if I am alone and unemployed, my insides feel better, my head feels better and my heart is beginning to heal. To all the OW & OM out there, there IS hope and it DOES get better. And being alone is much better than being someone else's side dish. That you feel better and that you're moving on... You sound strong and confident...so I'm sure everything will be fine soon. You'll get a new job, a new place, a new life... Good luck and take care... Sending you good vibes!
greengoddess Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 That you feel better and that you're moving on... You sound strong and confident...so I'm sure everything will be fine soon. You'll get a new job, a new place, a new life... Good luck and take care... Sending you good vibes! and she'll still be stuck in the past and putting this mans family through hell and herself for the next year with her nice little it's not my fault lawsuit. Move on with your life and drop the lawsuit. You are as responsible as him. You knew you were playing with fire. You got burned. If you read the news you are lucky that getting fired and being shunned was the only repercussion of you and mm's actions.
Lizzie60 Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 and she'll still be stuck in the past and putting this mans family through hell and herself for the next year with her nice little it's not my fault lawsuit. Move on with your life and drop the lawsuit. You are as responsible as him. You knew you were playing with fire. You got burned. If you read the news you are lucky that getting fired and being shunned was the only repercussion of you and mm's actions. Relax... this is not my situation...
greengoddess Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Relax... this is not my situation... No kidding really? Do you always try to make things all about you?
Author BurriedAlive Posted May 22, 2007 Author Posted May 22, 2007 and she'll still be stuck in the past and putting this mans family through hell and herself for the next year with her nice little it's not my fault lawsuit. Move on with your life and drop the lawsuit. You are as responsible as him. You knew you were playing with fire. You got burned. If you read the news you are lucky that getting fired and being shunned was the only repercussion of you and mm's actions. I have taken responsibility for my actions including a face to face meeting with W where I honestly answered all her questions. I tried to make it work at my job. I stopped the affair and told MM that I would do whatever it took to be able to work with him. He just refused to talk to me and deal with me. He is an owner in the company. He was in the position of authority. I take 50% responsibility for the affair but 0% for the aftermath. I received threatening emails, lost friends and was told I could no longer participate in any work activities but I went in everyday and did my job. GG, you seem a little defensive. Even W has not had this much hostility towards me.
Lizzie60 Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 No kidding really? Do you always try to make things all about you? It wasn't about me... Why were you quoting me...and responding to her?
whichwayisup Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 The MM is an idiot and a big p*ssy. Seems he doesn't want to own up to his part in the affair - But, I'm sure his wife will make sure he understands the consquences of his actions.... Him being in a position of authority, he should have known better than to allow something to happen between you! Bosses or managers who cross the lines, especially into an affair, should be professionally dealt with as well! It's not one sided. Stay strong and I hope someday soon you can put all this behind you and find a happier life.
greengoddess Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I think the wife will have a lot of hostility when she finds out you are suing him. Her and her family, the innocent party's source of income. Screwing with the MARRIED owner of a company again what did you expect all would live happily ever after working together after everyone knows? He can not have his ex mistress working for him. Like I said he should have been fired too but it's his company. I was actually fine with you and your upbeat message until you said you are suing for sexual harrassment. I despise lawsuits and what they have done to our zero responsibility for oneself society. Hey I'm fat it's mcdonalds fault. Hey I lost my job because I screwed the company owner and got caught and he couldn't work with me anymore but hey he sexually harrassed me. WHATEVER. The lawsuit angers me and clogs up our legal system and has destroyed insurance rates.
Trimmer Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 GG - the misuse of lawsuits in our society bothers me immensely, too, but that doesn't translate to "every lawsuit is automatically bad." I know that you said they should both be fired, so you hold strong contempt for his personal behavior as well; clearly though, that is a consesquence that he will not face, as owner. So do you believe that a company owner, in the ultimate position of business power, should be allowed to have an affair and then, based on his discomfort, summarily fire someone who is willing and able to continue doing her job, and face no consequences?
greengoddess Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I don't think he should have fied her but he was probably left with no choice in this situation. She should have quit though. Obviously everyone had contempt for her. She was probably very unconfortable after the affair was revealed. People just don't look positively at the employee screwing the married boss. And Yes he's scum too. She's moving on. What does a lawsuit accomplish except drag these horrible emotions out much longer for all involved. I really think Burriedalive is going to have a very difficult time with the suit and her role in the sexual harrassment. Does not seem worth it to me. But of course a money hungry lawyer will tell her to go for it and not care about her emotional well being. Hey how about the suit where the lawyer is suing the dry cleaners for MILLIONS because he didn't get his pants back in one day. Independently owned business don't have the finances to defend this crap. http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/Story?id=3119381&page=1
Trimmer Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Hey how about the suit where the lawyer is suing the dry cleaners for MILLIONS because he didn't get his pants back in one day. Independently owned business don't have the finances to defend this crap. That's totally off topic; I'll simply restate what I said before: the misuse of lawsuits in our society bothers me immensely, too - this example included - but that doesn't translate to "every lawsuit is automatically bad." I don't think he should have fied her but he was probably left with no choice in this situation. Wow, really? No choice? How was he left no choice? He had complete control of his choices of what to do with her in the first place, and what to do about her afterward. She should have quit though. Obviously everyone had contempt for her. She was probably very unconfortable after the affair was revealed. People just don't look positively at the employee screwing the married boss. And Yes he's scum too. Yes, everything you've said applies in both directions, except she didn't have the power to decide her fate, and he did. As far as I know, the law says you can't f**k someone - male or female, married or not - and then fire them just because you are uncomfortable about it. And the consequence provided is in the civil courts. It doesn't mean anyone was less sleazy about their behavior, and I'm not saying that I would have behaved as either of them did or would bring a lawsuit myself, but I don't see it as the same as a $67mil lawsuit for lost pants.
Author BurriedAlive Posted May 22, 2007 Author Posted May 22, 2007 I haven't sued them yet. Hopefully this will be resolved before it ever gets that far. I just don't think its fair that I admitted my fault, made every possible attempt to redeem myself, continued to go in and do a good job and just because HE couldn't work with me, I lost my job. My lawyer says that I have a lot of leverage and it will likely settle before it ever sees the light of the court room. I really just want to move on and don't want to financially suffer as well because of this horrible mess.
NoOneKnows Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I haven't sued them yet. Hopefully this will be resolved before it ever gets that far. I just don't think its fair that I admitted my fault, made every possible attempt to redeem myself, continued to go in and do a good job and just because HE couldn't work with me, I lost my job. My lawyer says that I have a lot of leverage and it will likely settle before it ever sees the light of the court room. I really just want to move on and don't want to financially suffer as well because of this horrible mess. Good luck to you BA!! You got the sh*t end of the stick & I hope happiness is yours very soon. (((((BA)))))
whichwayisup Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 She was probably very unconfortable after the affair was revealed. Yes, I'm sure she was uncomfortable, but she sucked it up, pulled herself together and showed up at the office WILLING to work. BA, I'm sure they'll settle and you'll get a good package, I doubt very much he wants this to go to court or be sued.
GreenEyedLady Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 I am not really going away quietly. I have hired a lawyer and we are fighting for wrongful dismissal and sexual harassment. Good for you!
Tomcat33 Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 Woody Allen went through a phase in his film making where he would depict very passionate extramarital affairs that would always end in the MM murdering the mistress, of course it was done in satire and we are all supposed to make light of the "cheap bimbo" who gets what's coming to her so that the all mighty married man can go back to his impecable life with not as much as a scratch. The men in these movies are always high profile men. WHY? why does the jerk who calls the shots in these scenarios always get away with making the OW dissapear a like dirty rag thrown out in the trash when he is done with his playing around? I'll tell you why, because he CAN. So Burired Alive first I would like to congratulate you on your personal achievement on being where you are today. I commend you on your strength, you are so much more than the scum you got involved with (sorry I know you still love the guy but he is scum let's tell it like it is) will ever be. And good for you for suing him, he needs to reap the consecuences of what he engaged in. DON'T let him get away with dismissing you like a dirty rag. He needs to face up to his side of the equation. I apologize for all my harsh words, this post made me really angry, I cannot believe the lengths some men will go to squirm out of the situations THEY create themselves. it just makes me very mad. :mad:
Author BurriedAlive Posted May 23, 2007 Author Posted May 23, 2007 Thanks Tomcat!!! That's the way I feel. It really isn't fair that MM gets to pull me into a puddle of mud and then come out clean. Thanks for your words of encouragement, they really mean a lot. He is a coward and a sleazebucket who doesn't deserve to get away with what he has gotten away with. I guess the bright side would be that I got to see his true colours before investing more in the relationship than I already had. Everyday that goes on, my love gets less and less and I am sure at this rate it won't be long before it's gone. It's pretty hard to love someone who has tried to destroy you and your life! As part of my leverage, I have a visa statement where MM spent $2000 on hookers one weekend away with his friends. His poor W who is still trying to contact me thinks I was the first..... I really do have a lot of compassion for her. At least I had a 50% hand in my demise, she had none.
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