sadbuttrue Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 IO, i did not say it was difficult to GET involved with a MM, i said it was difficult to BE involved with a MM. i guess i dont know your story, but unless you have been there and been in love, you wouldnt know the pain and anguish you go through in this type of R.
Ruby Tuesday Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I wasn't born yesterday sweetheart, I know exactly what you're doing, shall I spell it out for you? This whole BS question is trying to prove that you have no ulterior motive, that you're just an innocent, honest, sweet girl who is paying a man a compliment he deserves.....BALONEY. If you really wanted out of your "situation", you'd tell MM that you don't sleep with married men and to call you when he's divorced, you would not waste your time trying to prove that you aren't stroking his ego. You really aren't getting it, are you? You have no right to even contemplate the motives of your compliments. You shouldn't even be complimenting him in the first place, it's innapropriate. If some guy says to a married woman that she has a great ass, does it really matter that he said it because she really has a great ass or that he just wants to get into her pants? Either way, he's out of line and so are you. DITTO
Trialbyfire Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 IO, i did not say it was difficult to GET involved with a MM, i said it was difficult to BE involved with a MM. i guess i dont know your story, but unless you have been there and been in love, you wouldnt know the pain and anguish you go through in this type of R. And an OW will never understand the pain and anguish that a betrayal entails. This is someone you've vowed to "love, honour and cherish until death do you part", someone who you trusted implicitly who has chosen to take away everything you've built together for years and for some, decades. Talk about the cleaver in the back. Don't even go there... As previously expressed, if compliments are intended to manipulate, it's not honourable behaviour.
Ruby Tuesday Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 IO, i did not say it was difficult to GET involved with a MM, i said it was difficult to BE involved with a MM. i guess i dont know your story, but unless you have been there and been in love, you wouldnt know the pain and anguish you go through in this type of R. Some people say that what goes around comes around. I say you brought it all on yourself.
sadbuttrue Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 And she will get over this mess & be ok. i totally disagree. i will get out of this eventually and i will recover. and yeah, maybe i did bring it all on myself. i knew he was M, i thought i could control the emotional part of the R and not fall for him. i have never said that i am blameless here.
sadbuttrue Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 And an OW will never understand the pain and anguish that a betrayal entails. This is someone you've vowed to "love, honour and cherish until death do you part", someone who you trusted implicitly who has chosen to take away everything you've built together for years and for some, decades. Talk about the cleaver in the back. Don't even go there... As previously expressed, if compliments are intended to manipulate, it's not honourable behaviour. TBF, i totally agree. the pain and suffering of a BS is not anything like that of an OW. i was just speaking of my own pain. i do not like to think of her pain. i know it would be unbearable.
NoOneKnows Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 i totally disagree. i will get out of this eventually and i will recover. and yeah, maybe i did bring it all on myself. i knew he was M, i thought i could control the emotional part of the R and not fall for him. i have never said that i am blameless here. SBT, You WILL be ok. You WILL get thru this. I am sure you know that. And you WILL eventually recover. Call what I say, sugarcoated, but it's true that you will survive.
sadbuttrue Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 NoOneKnows, for some reason i thought you said that i WOULDNT get over it. sorry.
NoOneKnows Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 NoOneKnows, for some reason i thought you said that i WOULDNT get over it. sorry. I'm glad that you know that I didn't say that! Nor would I ever.
Impudent Oyster Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 IO, i did not say it was difficult to GET involved with a MM, i said it was difficult to BE involved with a MM. I'm sure it is difficult to be with someone who wants to keep you a secret, which is just one reason why I would never, ever be with a MM. Then again, I have options that perhaps OW don't have.
NoOneKnows Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I don't agree that some have options that OW might not have. I feel we all have options (maybe we all have the SAME options) but some just choose different ones.
Author NearlyThere Posted May 22, 2007 Author Posted May 22, 2007 I wasn't born yesterday sweetheart, I know exactly what you're doing, shall I spell it out for you? This whole BS question is trying to prove that you have no ulterior motive, that you're just an innocent, honest, sweet girl who is paying a man a compliment he deserves.....BALONEY. If you really wanted out of your "situation", you'd tell MM that you don't sleep with married men and to call you when he's divorced, you would not waste your time trying to prove that you aren't stroking his ego. You really aren't getting it, are you? You have no right to even contemplate the motives of your compliments. You shouldn't even be complimenting him in the first place, it's innapropriate. If some guy says to a married woman that she has a great ass, does it really matter that he said it because she really has a great ass or that he just wants to get into her pants? Either way, he's out of line and so are you. Actually "sweetheart" it wasn't a BS question, I was just genuinely interested in what would be classed as Ego stroking and just being nice and some people actually responded with some genuine answers which were interesting. Why would I put a thread out just to try and prove I was sweet and innocent girl, that would be a waste of time as I never profess to be either. Its not me who has ever contemplated the motives of my compliments, its other people on this board who have made me question it and I didnt see anything wrong with that. Also I'm not trying to "prove" anything, just telling it as it is.
Author NearlyThere Posted May 22, 2007 Author Posted May 22, 2007 No Duh. But I'm pretty sure that's not the *only* thing you have to do to get him stay with you Believe me I dont have to do "anything" to get him to stay with me, he does it all of his own accord. He is free to dump me whenever he chooses. In fact I frequently ask him if he wants to break up, but no doubt you all think I'm talking BS about that as well.
sadbuttrue Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Believe me I dont have to do "anything" to get him to stay with me, he does it all of his own accord. He is free to dump me whenever he chooses. In fact I frequently ask him if he wants to break up, but no doubt you all think I'm talking BS about that as well. NT, i know just what you mean. i also tell MM that anytime he feels this is too much for him then i would understand if he needed to get out. he always stays. of course i ask partly because i am having such a difficult time with it. it is so crazy to want someone so much and at the same time know that you would be so much better off without them.
Author NearlyThere Posted May 22, 2007 Author Posted May 22, 2007 NT, i know just what you mean. i also tell MM that anytime he feels this is too much for him then i would understand if he needed to get out. he always stays. of course i ask partly because i am having such a difficult time with it. it is so crazy to want someone so much and at the same time know that you would be so much better off without them. Yep, I totally agree.
Impudent Oyster Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 NT, i know just what you mean. i also tell MM that anytime he feels this is too much for him then i would understand if he needed to get out. he always stays. . What do you mean "he stays"? Does he live with you? Support you? Is your name on his life insurance policy? What's he offering you? Seriously, where is he staying? Doesn't he stay with his wife? Believe me, there's nothing for a MM to get out of when it comes to the OW. You've got nothing of his real life.
Impudent Oyster Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Its not me who has ever contemplated the motives of my compliments, its other people on this board who have made me question it and I didnt see anything wrong with that. quote] The only men I've told were great kissers or who had beautiful eyes were men I was romantically involved with. There's only one motive for those types of compliments and everyone knows it. It's ego-stroking pure and simple. Stop treating everyone here like they're idiots, we've got your number.
Tomcat33 Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 The only men I've told were great kissers or who had beautiful eyes were men I was romantically involved with. There's only one motive for those types of compliments and everyone knows it. It's ego-stroking pure and simple. Stop treating everyone here like they're idiots, we've got your number Hey IO why don't YOU stop treating people like they are idiots? Are you GOD? Can you speak for EVERYONE? That may very well be the reason you site for paying a compliment, but that may not be true for another human being. Can you at least accept that? That not everyone is LIKE YOU? Did it ever occur to you that for some people, it simply feels good to compliment another human being, not to mention someone you are in love with? Paying a compliment to a MM or a S guy is irrelevant, a compliment is a compliment, and the OP is totally valid if you don't like what she posted why in the world are you even in this thread?
Author NearlyThere Posted May 22, 2007 Author Posted May 22, 2007 Its not me who has ever contemplated the motives of my compliments, its other people on this board who have made me question it and I didnt see anything wrong with that. quote] The only men I've told were great kissers or who had beautiful eyes were men I was romantically involved with. There's only one motive for those types of compliments and everyone knows it. It's ego-stroking pure and simple. Stop treating everyone here like they're idiots, we've got your number. Well you are entitled to your opinion, I am entitled to mine, in fact everyone can have a different opinion and thats what this thread was supposed to be about getting peoples opinions, nothing more nothing less. I have certainly never ever treated anyone here like they are idiots, and certainly not with the level of disdain you put out towards everyone on this board. I am just careful with the way I phrase things because I dont like to offend, unlike some people
messit Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 The only men I've told were great kissers or who had beautiful eyes were men I was romantically involved with. There's only one motive for those types of compliments and everyone knows it. It's ego-stroking pure and simple. Stop treating everyone here like they're idiots, we've got your number. And that motive would be?...
messit Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Well you are entitled to your opinion, I am entitled to mine, in fact everyone can have a different opinion and thats what this thread was supposed to be about getting peoples opinions, nothing more nothing less. I have certainly never ever treated anyone here like they are idiots, and certainly not with the level of disdain you put out towards everyone on this board. I am just careful with the way I phrase things because I dont like to offend, unlike some people Your inital question was fair. And in light of the buttons it pushed, worthy of exploration...
Impudent Oyster Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Hey IO why don't YOU stop treating people like they are idiots? Are you GOD? Can you speak for EVERYONE? That may very well be the reason you site for paying a compliment, but that may not be true for another human being. Can you at least accept that? That not everyone is LIKE YOU? ? And you stop acting like it's OK to tell married men that they're great kissers. IT'S NOT OKAY, IT'S WRONG, GET IT? I know everyone is not like me, if they were, there wouldn't be any EMA's. Stop enabling these cheaters, they aren't victims, they aren't stupid are they? Well, are they?
Impudent Oyster Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I am just careful with the way I phrase things because I dont like to offend, unlike some people You don't like to offend, yet you have no problem screwing some other woman's husband. That's not offensive at all.
messit Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 And you stop acting like it's OK to tell married men that they're great kissers. IT'S NOT OKAY, IT'S WRONG, GET IT? I know everyone is not like me, if they were, there wouldn't be any EMA's. Stop enabling these cheaters, they aren't victims, they aren't stupid are they? Well, are they? The rightness and wrongness is a seperate issue... if we're assuming this is coming from someone who's already an OW, we're dealing with other pieces of the puzzle. It isn't enabling to examine why people say things and what they think they mean by it.
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