sarebear87 Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 I tried to post this earlier, but I'm not sure it worked. (It's also posted in the break ups/breaking up section... I'm not sure where it fits in best!!) Basically, my boyfriend and I were very much in love, but began to see things differently in our relationship in the past few months. After a long and very messy break up, he has basically disappeared for the past 2 weeks.. I tried to get in contact a lot initially but decided to leave it, as he clearly wants to move on and while I love, miss, hope he gets in touch soon, and in some ways, want him back (even thought I doubt we ever will be together again).. I'm happy that he's trying to work things out for himself and be happy. I struggled with a borderline eating disorder (mainly to do with stress) a few years ago, but recovered fine, and never looked back. Due to a few things going on at the moment, without realising myself, a lot of old habits returned, I have lost a lot of weight again, and my boyfriend and I argued a lot about my unhealthy attitude towards food and my reactions to stress etc. Being in denial about it, I blocked him out when the issue came up and got angry. Looking back, it probably made things ten times worse. In the time that we have broken up, I have been medically diagnosed with an eating disorder, and am attempting recovery again. My current problem is this... even though we are broken up, and not accountable to each other any more, I don't know if I should be letting him know about the diagnosis? To clarify - by no means would I be using it as a way to get back into his life, and nor am I expecting, or really wanting, him to come back and help me. I don't think I would even expect a response from him.. but given how worried it made him, and how much he encouraged me to be healthy, I don't know if the 'right thing' to do is to tell him, or, as he is no longer my boyfriend, I would only be making things worse for him in letting him know? Help!!! Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!
Mr. Lucky Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 To clarify - by no means would I be using it as a way to get back into his life, and nor am I expecting, or really wanting, him to come back and help me. I don't think I would even expect a response from him.. but given how worried it made him, and how much he encouraged me to be healthy, I don't know if the 'right thing' to do is to tell him, or, as he is no longer my boyfriend, I would only be making things worse for him in letting him know? The obvious question is this: What would you hope to accomplish by telling him ? You're no longer a couple, not even in contact. So what would you expect him to do with the news? Were I him, I would question your motives for telling me. Good luck with your treatment. I know ED's are tough Mr. Lucky
Trimmer Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 I tried to post this earlier, but I'm not sure it worked. (It's also posted in the break ups/breaking up section... I'm not sure where it fits in best!!) You actually cross posted in 3 different forums, and they all worked. This thread has the most replies currently...
Author sarebear87 Posted May 24, 2007 Author Posted May 24, 2007 Mr Lucky, Thinking about it since I posted, I came to the same conclusion as you did about telling him. There is nothing achieved in it, and if the tables were turned I would probably question why I was told as well. Thanks for your advice and well wishings though... I've got a long way to go, but I'm confident I'll get there. Take care! Sare.
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