fantasyangel Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 Well, I'll try to keep this as short as possible. A little over a year ago my current boyfriend and I started dating. Even though we liked each other for awhile, it was complicated and we didn't date until months later. Even before we were official he had said once that he thought he was falling in love with me. Maybe it was just "the chase" or infatuation, but he was definitely pulling out all the stops and being incredibly perfect and sweet before we even started dating. Well, once we started dating we pretty much lived together for two months before he had to go home (he had just graduated from college and had to go back home, which is 1000 miles away). Everything was pretty good for the few months we were together, I can't say I remember anything wrong, but then again it should be the "honeymoon period". Well after he left, I only saw him over Thanksgiving for less than a week. Because of money and parents, etc...we couldn't see each other more often. Since Thanksgiving break, I didn't see him for 6 months. It was pretty hard (moreso on my side). I was kind of upset that he didn't seem to want to talk to me more or tell me that he missed me...but he explained that he just never had anything to talk about (his life everyday was the same...he hung out with two friends, watched tv, and dealt with his uncompromising parents). I on the other hand, would go out with friends, go to parties, drink, etc. (even though nothing ever happened). I think he wished I would stay home and didn't go hang out with my friends so much. After graduation, I flew to where he is and we just had our one-year anniversary. Everything seems pretty good right now...even though we haven't seen each other in half a year he seems to be pretty committed and into me. And I do see that he really doesn't do anything with his days except stay at home with his controlling parents lol. Here's what's been bothering me for a few months. He never said that he loved me. I was curious if it was me or if it was just his personality. I thought about it for awhile and I asked him half a year ago if he ever told his ex-girlfriend that he loved her (he was very much a player and only had one serious girlfriend two years ago...since she dumped him he fooled around with a couple more girls, but then he met me and told me that he really liked me and I would definitely not be just a fling). Anyway, he said that the only times he told his ex that he loved her was when she would force him to say it, like when she would with-hold sex and ask "do you love me?" He explained that it wasn't like he would say it everyday or anything, that she was the one that said it first and she kinda made him say it back. He also told me half a year ago that he liked his ex and me about the same, neither one more than the other...but that this relationship was definitely better than the last. Now, he says he can't even remember being with her, or any of the other girls he was with. I know that we were only together a couple months before we got separated into a long-distance relationship...and during the long-distance we seemed fairly content and committed to each other, but it seemed like our relationship wasn't really growing. I know that he's not the "type" to be all sweet and romantic and throw out "I love you"s within a few months (like my past boyfriends have been). I suppose I'm just not used to this. I'm just wondering if this is okay, or if I should bring it up. If it wasn't a long-distance relationship I think I would've brought it up earlier in the relationship...but I can kind of understand that long-distance is different, and he is also a different kind of guy I've never dated. As for his actions, he does show that he cares about me and I'm the only one he wants to be with. He doesn't flirt with other girls and he does tell me things he won't tell anyone else.
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