tanbark813 Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Why don't men wear engagement rings to show that they are taken off the market too? I don't know why they don't but I wouldn't be opposed to it. But I also wear lots of rings in general. I think there was actually a thread on here not too long ago from a woman asking about male engagement rings as a new trend.
serial muse Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I actually just started wearing my wedding ring because it is the one that I can wear without it being a safety issue Ha, me too! I used to do a lot of fieldwork and I was always deathly afraid that the diamonds would get knocked out or some other tragedy. The wedding ring I wore was my grandmother's (how's that for tradition!), a simple platinum band from the 1920's with lilies engraved on it. It never got in the way, and oh, it was a lovely thing. I thought it was a good luck charm, since my grandparents were married for 40 years or so (until he passed away). Heh. Not quite. Edited to add: I'd be cooler with wearing an engagement ring if we both did. But on the other hand, I'd also be cool with spending all that money on a fabulous honeymoon.
a4a Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Ha, me too! I used to do a lot of fieldwork and I was always deathly afraid that the diamonds would get knocked out or some other tragedy. The wedding ring I wore was my grandmother's (how's that for tradition!), a simple platinum band from the 1920's with lilies engraved on it that never got in the way. It was a lovely thing. I thought it was a good luck charm, since my grandparents were married for 40 years or so (until he passed away). Heh. Not quite. I think I will just get a new one every year. Who wants the same old thing...... year after year.....
Trialbyfire Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 The wedding ring I wore was my grandmother's (how's that for tradition!), a simple platinum band from the 1920's with lilies engraved on it. It never got in the way, and oh, it was a lovely thing. I thought it was a good luck charm, since my grandparents were married for 40 years or so (until he passed away). Heh. Not quite. Wow, that's meaningful to wear something of your grandparents. He bought me the ring unbeknownst to me and proposed. The next day, we went shopping and I bought him the motorcycle he'd been drooling over. Fair exchange, I thought. Anyways... The taking or not taking of a last name should be a joint decision, at least in my opinion.
Curmudgeon Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I am old ...how old. At just a few months shy of 61 I thought I was the resident old fart here.
tanbark813 Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 He bought me the ring unbeknownst to me and proposed. The next day, we went shopping and I bought him the motorcycle he'd been drooling over. Fair exchange, I thought. See, now that's a modern woman.
Woggle Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I left it up to my wife and she chose to take my name. I am glad she did and if she fought me tooth and nail about it I would not have married her. Changing the name in and of itself is not that big a deal but it is symbolic of so many other issues. Most women who want to keep their name are hardcore feminists who have little to no respect for men and marriage to a woman like that is a nightmare. They are the type that have one foot out the door at all times and view respecting a man is submission. Marriage with that type of women is a constant battle.
Touche Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Which is fine. That was your choice to make. I only have issues with forcing someone to do it, where it's perceived as a sign of disrespect. It's just as "disrespecting" to force your demands over someone else's. Couldn't agree more. It's never right to "force" anyone to do anything they don't want to do. And if it even would come down to that, it would tell me that the two people involved are simply not compatible.
a4a Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 ...how old. At just a few months shy of 61 I thought I was the resident old fart here. eh I just feel old... laid up. broke my foot still don't know how. I am under 40 but over 35. But at the moment feel 98 in the body but still look 30ish. With exception of my hobble. Feels very sexy to lay in bed with your foot on a pillow.... so sexy. and 61 is not an old fart.... just means you have a few more highway miles. and you don't tell us about your bowel movements so you are not that old yet.
a4a Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I left it up to my wife and she chose to take my name. I am glad she did and if she fought me tooth and nail about it I would not have married her. Changing the name in and of itself is not that big a deal but it is symbolic of so many other issues. Most women who want to keep their name are hardcore feminists who have little to no respect for men and marriage to a woman like that is a nightmare. They are the type that have one foot out the door at all times and view respecting a man is submission. Marriage with that type of women is a constant battle. blah blah blah.............same old rant on a new thread.
Trialbyfire Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 See, now that's a modern woman. Thanks. I'm very much into equality, not dominance of either gender. There are certain things that men are better at and others, that women are better at. I'll give you my full reason for not wanting to give up my name. I had worked very, very hard to get a reputation for myself within my industry. Since my industry is self-regulating, there's a main organization and peripherals that we all belong to. My name was on a number of the documents, including hearings, white papers, etc. Also, when you're a signing authority for your workplace, all documents have to be amended. This didn't include all my personal legal documents that I had to amend.
sb129 Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 He bought me the ring unbeknownst to me and proposed. The next day, we went shopping and I bought him the motorcycle he'd been drooling over. Fair exchange, I thought. The taking or not taking of a last name should be a joint decision, at least in my opinion. Wonderboy says if he buys me an engagement ring, I have to buy him a boat. A little boat, but a boat all the same. i think its a fair deal, as I will win both ways. I really like my last name, and it is quite famous but very uncommon. Thats why I want to keep it, but if wonderboy had any major objections I would change it. On a professional level, I qualified under this name, and am registered etc, and changing it is a big fat pain in the ass.... so I would keep my name for work. But then that might get complicated. Oh i don't know really......... haven't been asked anyway so its moot for me.
Curmudgeon Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 ...and you don't tell us about your bowel movements so you are not that old yet. Only 'cause I eat prunes and high fiber cereal every morning!
green-eyed beauty Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Like I said, Woggle, my sister is in a very loving marriage and never changed her last name. They have been together 15 years, married 11. Her husband is great with that, too. They are very much a partnership. They own a successful restaurant together. Frankly I've never seen a happier couple, or one who respected each other more.
Woggle Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 blah blah blah.............same old rant on a new thread. It is the truth and the truth needs repeating.
Curmudgeon Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Most women who want to keep their name are hardcore feminists who have little to no respect for men and marriage to a woman like that is a nightmare. They are the type that have one foot out the door at all times and view respecting a man is submission. Marriage with that type of women is a constant battle. Just in case that goes above your head, that means I have good new for you. While stupid is forever, ignorance CAN be fixed!
Curmudgeon Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 It is the truth and the truth needs repeating. ...the first time you post some.
sb129 Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Jeeez Woggle and here I was thinking you learnt something from the last thread you started..
Trialbyfire Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Couldn't agree more. It's never right to "force" anyone to do anything they don't want to do. And if it even would come down to that, it would tell me that the two people involved are simply not compatible. Perhaps so, perhaps not. Review my post to Tanbark for my reasons of not wanting to change my name. Wonderboy says if he buys me an engagement ring, I have to buy him a boat. A little boat, but a boat all the same. i think its a fair deal, as I will win both ways. I really like my last name, and it is quite famous but very uncommon. Thats why I want to keep it, but if wonderboy had any major objections I would change it. On a professional level, I qualified under this name, and am registered etc, and changing it is a big fat pain in the ass.... so I would keep my name for work. But then that might get complicated. Oh i don't know really......... haven't been asked anyway so its moot for me. Wonderboy seems to know what he wants. That's how I saw it at the time. The two of you need to discuss it together and see where you can meet. Most often people will either find some form of compromise or one will capitulate. Whatever works for the two of you.
Woggle Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Jeeez Woggle and here I was thinking you learnt something from the last thread you started.. I am not smearing all women. I am just speaking the truth about a certain type of woman.
green-eyed beauty Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I don't know her but I would not be surprised if one day she walked out on him. I bet he gets nagged and treated like garbage at home also. She is my twin sister and I spend a lot of time with them in the summer visiting for several weeks almost every year. They are very stressed running a popular restaurant which really took off 2 years ago. But they really respect each other, he is the chef, she manages the wine bar and everything else. My sister really isn't like that. If you met her, she is very warm and fun.
serial muse Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I don't know her but I would not be surprised if one day she walked out on him. I bet he gets nagged and treated like garbage at home also. You said something similar in another thread to Island Girl.
sb129 Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Wonderboy seems to know what he wants. That's how I saw it at the time. The two of you need to discuss it together and see where you can meet. Most often people will either find some form of compromise or one will capitulate. Whatever works for the two of you. We have discussed it. I think he would prefer it if I took his name. Its not such a big issue that I would want to fall out with him over it. Anyway, he needs to ask me first! We are still so new... but it feels like longer We talk about all kinds of stuff like that without it being "loaded" etc. He keeps sending me pictures of boats he wants..... if we go for equal value, thats one hell of a rock i am due!!!!
Woggle Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Feminists think that a woman is a doormat if she treats her husband like anything but garbage so I am just speaking from what trends tell me. If her sister is the exception so be it.
sb129 Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I am not smearing all women. I am just speaking the truth about a certain type of woman. But its even the "types" you have got pegged wrong. She is my twin sister and I spend a lot of time with them in the summer visiting for several weeks almost every year. They are very stressed running a popular restaurant which really took off 2 years ago. But they really respect each other, he is the chef, she manages the wine bar and everything else. My sister really isn't like that. If you met her, she is very warm and fun. Respect to them! If they can do those jobs together and are still happy, then they are made for eachother! Running a restaurant is stressful.
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