Author IpAncA Posted May 23, 2007 Author Share Posted May 23, 2007 I guess i just don't look at it that way. Your maiden name will always be yours in my opinion. Yeah I know that. I'm refering to the name being PASSED on. Meaning when I die the name is still there gen. after gen. That's all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IpAncA Posted May 23, 2007 Author Share Posted May 23, 2007 Well, I'm almost there () and I don't get it. (What is it I'm supposed to get again?) You have to wait until your in your 50s silly. Then you'll get what your suppost to get. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 look....when the dust settles if a woman isn't willing to change her name for her husband to be then she's marrying the wrong dude. You got it half right, Alpha. He's marrying the wrong girl Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Lizzie has the right to live her life the way she wants but I don't like how she thinks women who don't live like her are repressed and selling out to men. Feminists talk about choice but are quick to look down on women who don't how they think a woman should live. I know and what they refuse to accept is that some of us would rather die than have their empty, lonely lives. Some of us CHOOSE to want to share our lives with ONE man:eek: What a concept! And they'll tell you how "fulfilled" they are, refusing to believe that some of us who share our lives with one man can be and are fulfilled. Oh gosh, don't get me started. I'll start sounding worse than you if you get me going on these types of women...(well maybe not as bad as you..no one tops you, Wog:laugh:) Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 You got it half right, Alpha. He's marrying the wrong girl Mr. Lucky See, that's what I was saying earlier. That if two people like this DO marry, they will find that more than likely they will be incompatible in other important areas. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Lizzie has the right to live her life the way she wants but I don't like how she thinks women who don't live like her are repressed and selling out to men. Feminists talk about choice but are quick to look down on women who don't how they think a woman should live. you didn't get a 'feel' of who I am really... didn't you? I am not a hard core feminist, I am only FOR equality. I know we are sooooo far away still to full equality ...men still run the world.... and it a lot of ways it pisses me off. I know I have the right to live my life the way I want... but I am not demeaning women who don,t live like me.. I don't know where you got that. I encourage women to be confident, strong and independant... If I see a post about that, I will congratulate her... I have no patience with doormats (who does?) I have no patience with the 'I am a victim, please have pity' or the 'holier than thou' people. I have and still see so many women who just become the 'invisible' partner, leaving all the 'room' for her 'MAN'... what he wants is what she wants... yeah right... On the other hand, I am happy to see more and more open-minded men who can truly understand and respect women as their equal... not their possession. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Respect has nothing to do with it. You can still respect the guy and not have his name. What if this wasn't tradition? What then? Would you still feel the same way and say respect wasn't there? It is tradition, it is custom. It's not a misogeny thing or nothing else of the sort, it shows that when a woman wants to take a man's name it shows her willingness to start a family with that man. One name, one house, one family. If she needs to assert her independance then I would have no problem if she hypenated it. But it's not that big of a deal. But if the woman I loved wouldnt take my name because of her image that would clearly disturb me. And anyways we would talk about that issue before we marry so we wouldnt have that discussion later. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 You have to wait until your in your 50s silly. Then you'll get what your suppost to get. Well, that's ok. I can wait:laugh: Back to names. I mentioned that I passed my maiden name on to my son. It's his middle name and I'm hoping he'll pass it down to his kids. I've talked to him about this before. As I've mentioned, my dad died and there are no brothers in my family. But the name is very much still a part of me. It's part of my legal name and now it's part of our son's legal name. Everybody wins. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 It is tradition, it is custom. It's not a misogeny thing or nothing else of the sort, it shows that when a woman wants to take a man's name it shows her willingness to start a family with that man. One name, one house, one family. If she needs to assert her independance then I would have no problem if she hypenated it. But it's not that big of a deal. But if the woman I loved wouldnt take my name because of her image that would clearly disturb me. And anyways we would talk about that issue before we marry so we wouldnt have that discussion later. How would you feel if she would ask you to take her last name... to be one name, one house, one family? Link to post Share on other sites
Author IpAncA Posted May 23, 2007 Author Share Posted May 23, 2007 On the other hand, I am happy to see more and more open-minded men who can truly understand and respect women as their equal... not their possession. I'm not going to do it on here because that would just cause feuds but you could take that further. If they want equal then they shouldn't want some of the perks they can get from the guy by being married. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 you didn't get a 'feel' of who I am really... didn't you? I am not a hard core feminist, I am only FOR equality. I know we are sooooo far away still to full equality ...men still run the world.... and it a lot of ways it pisses me off. I know I have the right to live my life the way I want... but I am not demeaning women who don,t live like me.. I don't know where you got that. I encourage women to be confident, strong and independant... If I see a post about that, I will congratulate her... I have no patience with doormats (who does?) I have no patience with the 'I am a victim, please have pity' or the 'holier than thou' people. I have and still see so many women who just become the 'invisible' partner, leaving all the 'room' for her 'MAN'... what he wants is what she wants... yeah right... On the other hand, I am happy to see more and more open-minded men who can truly understand and respect women as their equal... not their possession. White women in America are the most pampered and catered to group in society. There are still some issues but no man will ever be able to snap his fingers and his wife is no longer a part of the family and she has to hand over her check while being alienated from her. I know more men who fit what youi describe. Most men I know are led around by the balls by their women and the women are still miserable. I know men who can vareky say a word without starting an argument. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 How would you feel if she would ask you to take her last name... to be one name, one house, one family? :laugh:And maybe he could give birth to their children as well. Why should SHE have to go through all that shyt? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 I'm refering to the name being PASSED on. Meaning when I die the name is still there gen. after gen. That's all. well we don't want our mom's maiden names. have you ever thought of that?? If I had my mom's maiden name as my last name i'd be soooo embarrased. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IpAncA Posted May 23, 2007 Author Share Posted May 23, 2007 well we don't want our mom's maiden names. have you ever thought of that?? If I had my mom's maiden name as my last name i'd be soooo embarrased. No I haven't. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 White women in America are the most pampered and catered to group in society. There are still some issues but no man will ever be able to snap his fingers and his wife is no longer a part of the family and she has to hand over her check while being alienated from her. I know more men who fit what youi describe. Most men I know are led around by the balls by their women and the women are still miserable. I know men who can vareky say a word without starting an argument. Most men I know are led around by the balls by their women and the women are still miserable. I don't know where you're from but if you are surrounded by men like that... ummm I can understand why you're thinking like that... Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 If you love and trust a man and you're willing to take on something of his identity, it can be a good thing. If he doesn't care whether you change your name, then it is a moot point. But if he wants you to take his name, perhaps he is trying to give something to you, not take something from you. Funny, this came up on another thread. Names are changeable. My original surname came from my father. I only had it for the first 25 years or so of my life. But there were three other names in my ancestry (from my other grandparents) that I never had. And I probably identified more with my mother's family. So who's to say that name was "my" name. It was just a name I used for a while. Changing names can be appropriate with a major change in identity, like a marriage. I think this is why men like Chrome Baracuda take it as a slight that a woman would refuse it. Because it can sound like you're saying, "I don't want to join with you. I want to stay separate." There is a link between the inner workings of a relationship and the outer trappings of it. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 White women in America are the most pampered and catered to group in society. There are still some issues but no man will ever be able to snap his fingers and his wife is no longer a part of the family and she has to hand over her check while being alienated from her. I know more men who fit what youi describe. Most men I know are led around by the balls by their women and the women are still miserable. I know men who can vareky say a word without starting an argument. I've been in the US since I was 9, I consider myself an 'American woman' but what I notice about Americans is that they're very in to self entitlement. They're all about "I have the right to" and "I deserve to" often for no good reason. But honestly I don't care, my relationship is great, my parents have been very happily married for over 25 years. I feel like I have it together when it comes to love and relationship. I'm not claiming to be perfect, but I do well Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Most men I know are led around by the balls by their women and the women are still miserable. I don't know where you're from but if you are surrounded by men like that... ummm I can understand why you're thinking like that... These men go out of their way to cater to their wives. They do the chores, they take them out all the time and they also drop all their old friends. They are pretty much a man molded into what their wives want them to be and these women are still miserable. They have no respect whatsoever for these men and are always making snide remarks. I very much support equality in relationships and my wife is an equal partner but no way will I hand over my balls to a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 I've been in the US since I was 9, I consider myself an 'American woman' but what I notice about Americans is that they're very in to self entitlement. They're all about "I have the right to" and "I deserve to" often for no good reason. But honestly I don't care, my relationship is great, my parents have been very happily married for over 25 years. I feel like I have it together when it comes to love and relationship. I'm not claiming to be perfect, but I do well Americans are very much into entitlemet. To be fair it is not just women. I go out and I see businessmen in suits treating cashiers and wait staff like trash and I bet sometimes these waiters and waitresses feel like dumping that food all over them. When I go out I am always extra nice and I tip well. Some good advice for both men and women is to watch how they treat wait staff when you are out on a date. It speaks voumnes about a person. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 How would you feel if she would ask you to take her last name... to be one name, one house, one family? LOL, I dont know but if I am the man of the house I would happen to say no. Because that's just it. I'm the man. She's the woman. Hello earth to you!!!lol. Too much independance is a bad thing when it comes to marriage, because one day you wake up and you realize this man isnt spending much time with me, he's always working, he puts his career first, he listens to his momma more than me. Next thing the woman says after that is: why the hell did we get married? The man could wake up and say the inverse as well. Too much independant behavior can kill a marriage. And if she wants to go against tradition I'd have to look at her like she farted in the car. See it is an honor if she took my last name. I am deeply honored if she did. She is my earth, my queen. I place no one above higher than her. She is the co-captain of my team. That is why I would like her to take my last name. Why wouldnt she if she couldnt feel the same? Link to post Share on other sites
Author IpAncA Posted May 23, 2007 Author Share Posted May 23, 2007 And if she wants to go against tradition I'd have to look at her like she farted in the car. You roll the window down too? Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 LOL, I dont know but if I am the man of the house I would happen to say no. Because that's just it. I'm the man. She's the woman. Hello earth to you!!!lol. Too much independance is a bad thing when it comes to marriage, because one day you wake up and you realize this man isnt spending much time with me, he's always working, he puts his career first, he listens to his momma more than me. Next thing the woman says after that is: why the hell did we get married? The man could wake up and say the inverse as well. Too much independant behavior can kill a marriage. And if she wants to go against tradition I'd have to look at her like she farted in the car. See it is an honor if she took my last name. I am deeply honored if she did. She is my earth, my queen. I place no one above higher than her. She is the co-captain of my team. That is why I would like her to take my last name. Why wouldnt she if she couldnt feel the same? Two things I got from this post. 1) You think "The man of the house" is more important than the woman and that the man makes the decions. 2) "I place no one above higher than her"... except of course yourself. That's one problem with most men... a misplaced sense of importance. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Well, at this point I don't even remember if the OP asked for a suggestion. But the one idea that struck me as the best of both worlds was that a woman take her maiden name as her middle name. Kudos to whomever mentioned it as it honors both family trees but avoids sticking your kids with some awkward hyphenated combo. Now back to the cross gender name calling... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 That's one problem with most men... a misplaced sense of importance. so should men walk around acting like losers? that'll get us a lot of chicks. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 My and my SO plan on marring fairly soon and this is going to be a funny issue for me. I see nothing wrong with taking my husbands name, I intend on it, every woman in my family has done it when they married. In my situation it will be interesting though as I am 100% Polish (born there, came here at 9) and my SO is Indian, so I'm going to be a Polish girl with a very Indian last name I don't see a problem with it though, my current last name is random and not Polish at all. Another thing is the long version of my first name sort of rhymes with my SO's last name, so I may use my middle name alongside my first or just have a silly sounding name, ah well A little off topic, but allina- you will have beautiful children!!! I asked wonderboy what he thought last night. He doesn't think its a big deal either way so thats good for future reference!!!! I too worry about my name not getting passed down as my dad has two sisters, and my brother is unlikely to have kids. But maybe my kids can have it as a middle name like someone suggested. Link to post Share on other sites
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