IpAncA Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 I have no freaking idea where to post this so if it goes somewhere else, make it so. Besides this section gets more traffic. Okay so I was wondering if any of you took your SO's last name. I know I know I shouldn't have to ask this but it's becoming more common to not so I'm asking. Also if you didn't how did you guys work it out if you had children? Actually the guys could weigh in on it. Married or not. Would you have a problem if your SO didn't take your name? What if her reason was to pass on the family name or something along the lines?
Curmudgeon Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 My wife and I had that discussion. She wanted to keep her last name, primarily for professional reasons. I could have gone along with that, professionally, except for one slight problem. The last name she was using was her former married name because of her daughters, who also had it. That's where I drew the line. I told her that there was no way that my wife was going to use another man's last name except her father's; certainly not a former husband's. Once she and I married she would go from Ms. to Mrs. and I was not going to be married to Mrs. FormerHusband'sLastName. It sounded adulterous to me. I'd have given her up before I would have given in. She took my last name.
luvstarved Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 LOL Curmudgeon, I was in the same boat...actually, I simply liked the sound of my ex's last name better than my H's...silly but true! I never even brought it up with H though. I knew it just wasn't "right" so even though I THOUGHT about keeping the old name, I took my H's last name. I am all for equality and hurray for women but I am also a very practical woman and I just felt like taking my H's last name and giving it also to the children would be the most straightforward, least confusing thing to do. Of course, I still have two daughters with a DIFFERENT last name, but...what ya gonna do???
serial muse Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 Hi IpAncA - there's a very interesting older thread on this topic that might give some insight into different points of view: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t76479/ Not that you shouldn't get responses on your own thread, too! But it's good additional reading material. (and Curmudgeon - that seems perfectly reasonable to me!!)
alphamale Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 Would you have a problem if your SO didn't take your name? yes, before me and the ex wife married we had a HUGE blowout about this. She didn't want to take my last name but then she finally decided to hyphenate. Three yrs later I decided to file for divorce.
Curmudgeon Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 LOL! My/Our last name is hard for people to spell and even harder for them to pronounce if they're reading it. Her former last name was quite common and very simple. Oh, well! My wife. My last name. Both of her daughters were adults when we married.
Author IpAncA Posted May 21, 2007 Author Posted May 21, 2007 Well since this has been done never mind.
Diamonds&Rust Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 I was really glad she didn't want to take my last name, but if we ever accidentally had children, I would want them to have my last name.
serial muse Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 Well since this has been done never mind. Oh no! I didn't mean to stop the thread - there are lots of new posters since then anyway, and some of them might have new thoughts. Just wanted to offer some ancient wisdom.
Trialbyfire Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 I took my exes last name because it was so important to him. My personal preference for professional reasons, was not to. Wish I had kept my boundaries on that one... Hyphenating our last names was not an option. The two combined was hilarious.
alphamale Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 Hyphenating our last names was not an option. The two combined was hilarious. what was it like "Anal-Sphincter"?
Trialbyfire Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 It was far, far worse than that. Way more syllables and if said quickly, could earn you a slap across the face.
Mustang Sally Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 I hyphenated. For professional reasons (I wanted to keep some semblance of my name professionally), but also because it was important to H for me to have his last name and make our little "club." Now, that seems a bit ridiculous to me, like he needed me to "belong" to him or something - like property? Or like a dog marking it's territory??? However, I'm perfectly willing to admit that I may be hyperacute about this because we are having a rough time right now....Maybe it's the hyphen's fault? Our kids all have his last name. And I agree with TBF. Wish I'd just kept my own last name and been done with it. I asked him before we were married why he didn't take my last name??? Boy, what a look I got for that! Male-centered culture that we live in....
Author IpAncA Posted May 21, 2007 Author Posted May 21, 2007 I kept my name for professional reasons. My degrees are in my name and my most important one is in my name. Everyone knows me by my orginial last name so I decided to stick with it. Plus my last name is unique. No one outside of my family has it and never will. I guess I felt it was important to keep my orginial name. Now I do have my bother who could pass down the name IF he ever has children but he's almost 30 and still single. I doubt he'll be getting married and having children soon. He's neglecting his name duty and it's ticking me off.
Mr. Lucky Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 What if her reason was to pass on the family name or something along the lines? How would you pass on your family name to your kids? Would you hyphenate their last name? Mr. Lucky
Author IpAncA Posted May 21, 2007 Author Posted May 21, 2007 How would you pass on your family name to your kids? Would you hyphenate their last name? Mr. Lucky Honestly I don't know. I don't want my family name to die. I know my cousin has the same last name but outside of him and my brother that's it. Shesh I just realized that.
rainfall Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 If we do happen to get married one day I think I will take his last name just because it is so much shorter and easier to say then mine. I hate having to tell everyone how to say it and spell it all the time so having a commen last name would make my life easier.
Author IpAncA Posted May 21, 2007 Author Posted May 21, 2007 I know what you mean. I name is ALWAYS spelled wrong and said wrong. Ugh...it's not that difficult.
alphamale Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 in the highly unlikely event that I marry again if she doesn't agree to changing her last name then she is history. I won't go thru that baloney again. I mean, women just want EVERYTHING....they want guy to give up his entire life and independence and then they won't even take his name. How rediculous!
Author IpAncA Posted May 21, 2007 Author Posted May 21, 2007 in the highly unlikely event that I marry again if she doesn't agree to changing her last name then she is history. I won't go thru that baloney again. I mean, women just want EVERYTHING....they want guy to give up his entire life and independence and then they won't even take his name. How rediculous! Yeah I could just see your making your SO take your name. I'd feel sorry for her if your last name was Buttkiss or something.
Pyro Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 I have no freaking idea where to post this so if it goes somewhere else, make it so. Besides this section gets more traffic. Okay so I was wondering if any of you took your SO's last name. I know I know I shouldn't have to ask this but it's becoming more common to not so I'm asking. Also if you didn't how did you guys work it out if you had children? Actually the guys could weigh in on it. Married or not. Would you have a problem if your SO didn't take your name? What if her reason was to pass on the family name or something along the lines? Never thought about it all that much, so I am not sure. I am fortunate to have a fairly simple last name, so come marriage time, I don't see a reason why she wouldn't want my last name, unless for professional reasons or something.
alphamale Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 Yeah I could just see your making your SO take your name. I won't force her but i'll put as a condition of marriage in the pre-nup. If she doesn't sign then we don't get married and I move on. I must reiterate that me getting hitched again probaby won't happen.
Flyin in Clouds Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 IF my wife hadn't wanted to take my last name I wouldn't have married her, that simple. If she didn't love me enough to do that then to heck with it. And before the feminazi's all get up in arms and ask why I shouldn't take her last name - tradition. (See Fiddler on the Roof.... tradition... ) yeah, I think traditions are a good thing - mostly.
Author IpAncA Posted May 21, 2007 Author Posted May 21, 2007 IF my wife hadn't wanted to take my last name I wouldn't have married her, that simple. If she didn't love me enough to do that then to heck with it. Don't you think your going a little over board with that statement? She could easily turn that back on you.
Recommended Posts