Can you guys and girls guide me in my process of winning her back?

[MackinMack]

Well my ex and I have been together for 2 and half years. She broke up with me with the usual "I want to grow" or "I'm confused" out of the blue.

 

I've never experience this before, first month and a half I broke every rule: crying, begging, asking her to come back, telling her I will change, forcing her to meet up with me, brining up the relationship when ever we talk. And it pushed her away even more.

 

So we both went into NC for 1 week. All of sudden on saturday which was not yesterday but last saturday I've called her. Since then I understood that she says she doesn't want to be in a relationship and she isn't interested in anybody. So I told her I would start fresh.

 

Well since that day, we have been talking on the phone everynight and it seems to be fine. I'm not bringing up the relationship, I'm being polite,I'm always listening, I'm showing her interest on anything she has to say, I avoid quiteness, I'm asking questions on things she brings up and I always am the one ending the conversation were usually she wouldn't want me to go such as when it was nearly 2am and she had work at 8 am I suggested she get some rest but refuses too, she laughs at the jokes I say, we keep the conversation friendly and so forth

 

 

So far she hasn't pick up since we last spoke on friday night, and I was thinking if it would be wise to call back again or just wait another day?

 

If there's anything more you would like to add please let me know

[Diamonds&Rust]

The trouble is that you're still preoccupied with her, and she will know this regardless of your talent at phone-theatre.

 

You need to find something else to captivate your interest, so that when she does call, you can enjoy it, but you don't have so much pressure on yourself to "win her back."

[MackinMack]

The trouble is that you're still preoccupied with her, and she will know this regardless of your talent at phone-theatre.

 

You need to find something else to captivate your interest, so that when she does call, you can enjoy it, but you don't have so much pressure on yourself to "win her back."

 

you are right bro!

 

she eventually is ignoring my calls, and funny that when i was heading to buy pizza i usually take her street because it's a short cut to get to the other side of the main street, just passing by her house i saw her walk home, i called her phone about an hr later, she ignores it, i called her house her mom says shees not home.

 

I guess I'm back at NC cause if I continue to call in after a day or 2 shee's going to think i'm nuts. If anything now, it's up to her if she wants to call or not.

[Trialbyfire]

If anything now, it's up to her if she wants to call or not.

Ba da bing...

 

Let her call and don't be so available when she does. You have a life too, one she chose not to be a part of so she can go "find" herself.

[MackinMack]

Ba da bing...

 

Let her call and don't be so available when she does. You have a life too, one she chose not to be a part of so she can go "find" herself.

 

Exactly, she is young and unstable in my opinion to handle a long term relationship. She did just enter university and I guess she's in her "going out/party mode". Although I do understand alot of things from my part that I needed to fix which may decrease the odds of her leaving me.

 

Hey Trialbyfire or anyone do you think even if I called say every 2-3 days or perhaps once a week it might still get her thinking I'm trying to win her back? Dumpers what's your view on this?

[Trialbyfire]

As a dumper and Tbf, yes, I would think so. Seriously, don't call her right now. Leave her some space because she's ignoring your calls. Let her make the next contact and once again, don't be so available.

[MackinMack]

As a dumper and Tbf, yes, I would think so. Seriously, don't call her right now. Leave her some space because she's ignoring your calls. Let her make the next contact and once again, don't be so available.

 

Thanks for the heads up.

 

Since you've been a dumper yourself, I am just wondering what does it take for the "confuse" or "I want to grow" person to realize what they've losts?

 

I know myself this year entering college and us being distant with school and work, I had been thinking of dumping her but I realize and thought it well how it wouldn't benifit me if she were not a part of my life so my feelings eventually grew back then worsts comes to worsts I get dumped.

[Trialbyfire]

Thanks for the heads up.

 

Since you've been a dumper yourself, I am just wondering what does it take for the "confuse" or "I want to grow" person to realize what they've losts?

 

I know myself this year entering college and us being distant with school and work, I had been thinking of dumping her but I realize and thought it well how it wouldn't benifit me if she were not a part of my life so my feelings eventually grew back then worsts comes to worsts I get dumped.

The bolded comment makes me believe it's more the act of being dumped as the priority, rather than the loss of person, although that matters too.

 

Is this true? Think hard about it.

[MackinMack]

The bolded comment makes me believe it's more the act of being dumped as the priority, rather than the loss of person, although that matters too.

 

Is this true? Think hard about it.

 

This was a while back, much earlier then her dumping me. I should of put "was"

 

Seriously I have been thinking about it at the time, and the fact that in the last 2 years I have not seen my ex ex (the gf before her) and she went to the same college with me and I would see her every day yet my heart belong to one the that just dumped me.

 

I would hate to see myself not having anybody there they way she has been. She is truly my first in everything you can think off. She met my closest friends and family, she's always tried her best to make me feel better when ever I wasn't 100%, she would try to look out what's best for me,she was even there when I nearly passed away and the only one that stayed with me. I can come up with more things but that would be it for now.

 

Mate, what do you think it would take for a confuse/I want to grow person to realize what they losts?

 

Just thought I have your view on this

[Trialbyfire]

This was a while back, much earlier then her dumping me. I should of put "was"

 

Seriously I have been thinking about it at the time, and the fact that in the last 2 years I have not seen my ex ex (the gf before her) and she went to the same college with me and I would see her every day yet my heart belong to one the that just dumped me.

 

I would hate to see myself not having anybody there they way she has been. She is truly my first in everything you can think off. She met my closest friends and family, she was even there when I nearly passed away and the only one that stayed with me.

 

Mate, what do you think it would take for a confuse/I want to grow person to realize what they losts?

 

Just thought I have your view on this

Fair enough.

 

Sorry, I'm not the person who can answer your question because I've never had regrets about moving on. While they've all been good guys except the last, it wasn't meant to be.

 

Keep in mind that my situations were not situations of confusion/I want to grow. They were definitive realizations that it wasn't going to happen. I don't give up on relationships that easily unless I have that complete certainty.

[MackinMack]

Fair enough.

 

Sorry, I'm not the person who can answer your question because I've never had regrets about moving on. While they've all been good guys except the last, it wasn't meant to be.

 

Keep in mind that my situations were not situations of confusion/I want to grow. They were definitive realizations that it wasn't going to happen. I don't give up on relationships that easily unless I have that complete certainty.

 

Awh I see. Thanks for your input though. I might start a new topic on that