Well...

[kiki87]

I am brand new to this and just thought I would write because I think sometimes talking about your feelings actually helps understand them better.

I am nineteen and in love for the first time... I know most of you are probably rolling your eyes because most people think I am too young to know what love is. That might very well be true but this feeling that I have is so unbelievable and I can only explain it as I love my boyfriend.

I have been dating him for three months (Again I can feel the eye rolling ) but the past three months have been wonderful. We are both in college, he just graduated actually and I still have two maybe three more years. He is heading off to serve his country as a officer in the Army. I love that he is doing a military career ( I have been around the military my whole life with my parents being in and myself as well). My only regret is he leaves in a week and we will have to do the long distance thing. I am so afraid I will lose him that I have to do everything in my power to not cling too tight.

 

Well we went on a break a few weeks back because he said he needs to figure things out... I was so torn up I couldn't get out of bed... the thought of losing him was unbearable. That was when I realized I loved him... I kept trying to talk to him and to my (and my girlfriends surprise) he talked back to me every time I tried getting a hold of him, when I was at my worst he came over just to hold my puffy eyed, ratty hairdo, three day old clothed body. He picked up when I got trashed out of my mind and my girlfriends didn't know I stole my "off limits" phone back.

I had finally reached the point where I could sit back and look at my relationship and see what went wrong. I first off blamed myself, then him... then well I realized it was just timing. I did learn a lot from the time we had apart. I learned I was leaning on him too much to make me happy, I knew he was leaving so I did everything in my power to hold him as close as I could. It took me a week to realize I needed to leave him alone. I gave him his stuff back and the graduation gift I had bought him and told myself I couldn't force him to be with me, nor could I expect him to want to be with me when he had so much else going on.

I was going to be leaving town for the summer and the day before I was suppose to leave my plans got changed. He asked me if he could take me out to dinner to say good bye and I told him I actually wasn't leaving, he said he would like to take me out anyways. So we went to dinner, there was no kisses, no hand holding, nothing just a nice evening. We ate, talked, and had a wonderful time. He dropped me off and that was that. I spent the remainder of my evening telling myself to let go and trying to stop thinking about him (which I failed miserably at) and then later that night I got a txt on my phone from him saying "It was really great seeing you tonight." Then another one explaining he was a dumbass... I wrote him back at said yeah you are. Then he said he realized after seeing me that he still cared about me as more than a friend and wanted me in his life. I told him I didn't know because I didn't want to put my heart there again but that we should maybe talk more later and in person. We did talk and he told me he thought it would be easier on both of us if he ended it now so that it wouldn't hurt as bad, but he realized he couldn't do that. He said it was killing him being away from me and he knew it was so much worse without me.

Well things progressed and we are back together. I just got back from a weekend with him and his family on the lake and had a wonderful time. (I am the only girl that is family has ever heard of or met so that makes me kinda special ) Well we are on our last week with each other for a little while because he leaves for training soon and we are going to have to deal with the long distance relationship for the foreseeable future. I know it will be hard but I also know that if it is meant to be... it will work.

I guess this whole "thread" is mostly me just wondering if I'm crazy to think we can make it work, I have never had a relationship that has gone past a month let alone fallen in love with someone. I would just enjoy hearing peoples opinions on what they think this will end up as.

Well I hope I didn't bore you too much

[nerdie]

If it is as real as it sounds to me, then hold on to it, both of you have nothing to lose