Husband wants a big party with beer & porn... and I'm upset!!

[flower360]

Well, I'd never allow it.

 

Anyway, no offense but I never would have married a guy who would do that sort of thing.

 

You sure he's not gay?

 

He says he's not gay, and wouldn't have married me if he was!

I just can't understand why he wants to do it. He says it took a month-and-a-half to plan and organise this bash, and the fact people in work have paid for tickets for it, and the fact he ordered food, mean it should go ahead!He insists there's nothing wrong with it!

I just find the whole thing weird.... and have tried asking him WHY he wants to do this, but he won't say...

A load of grown men in their underwear partying.... sounds odd, doesn't it?

I still need help... keep your advice coming!

[Trialbyfire]

True....

I begged that he doesn't hold this party, but he insists it'll be a laugh, and a great time!

I can't understand why a load of men would be comfortable enough to be in a room together in just their underwear

He claims it's a bit of fun... and I shouldn't worry!

My sister finds it such a bad joke she was threatening to tell the press (luckily, she was joking!)

If your husband/boyfriend kept insisting on doing this, what would you say to him??

And don't you find the whole idea a bit weird??

I find the whole idea bizarre, to say the least. In all honesty, I would seriously consider saran wrapping the whole living room and making certain I wasn't home for the event. I wouldn't cook for it or help him. This is his little fiasco, let him deal with it.

 

You can't control him but you can control what you need to do, to distance yourself from the situation. I would be seriously concerned about the maturity level of your partner.

[mrmaximum]

How old is your hubby? Has he had strange ideas like this in the past? I agree with the other posters, you want to be NOWHERE near that house that night if this whole thing does actually go down. This whole thing sounds ridiculous, but hey, truth is stranger than fiction. Good Lord, that is your house too!! Him doing this is making you look bad to your friends, I mean C"MON!! This isn't reasonable in the slightest. Man, this has got to be the absolute stupidest thing I have ever heard. I though the only people who got together to watch porn like that were adolescents!! Grown men......I'm at a loss. I think you need to put your foot down, that is your house too and you do have a say. Good grief!!!

[Trimmer]

You can't control him but you can control what you need to do, to distance yourself from the situation.

 

Don't waste any more of your energy wringing your hands and wondering why and what it means and whether you can put a stop to it. It does sound bizarre and homoerotic, but maybe it will also turn out to be just as plain stupid as it sounds. I don't know whether your relationship would be any better off if you could put a stop to it. How about letting it play out and distancing yourself from it and see what his true colors are once it is over...

 

I would be more concerned over his insistence that you are obliged to help with the preparations. To that, I again agree wholeheartedly with TBF:

 

I wouldn't cook for it or help him. This is his little fiasco, let him deal with it.

[whichwayisup]

If your husband/boyfriend kept insisting on doing this, what would you say to him??

And don't you find the whole idea a bit weird??

 

Yeah I would find it weird! And I'd also be re-thinking the whole marriage thing.

 

It's one thing for men to revert back to the teen years, but what your husband has in the works is just plain NUTS!

[Tangerina]

For my ex's 21st birthday he couldn't think of a theme so I was listing weird things and said underwear party and he thought I was serious and wanted a party where people were in their underwear. I thought it was weird but he was a weird guy and I figured he wanted to see girls in their underwear but I was pretty sure none would go so I kind of just laughed at him... in the end it was me, my best friend, my ex, and about 6 of his guy friends... it was a fun party but the undies thing was too silly... and when everyone but me got really drunk my friend and I wondered why we were being ignored... it was really weird how all the guys ganged together. I think in your situation it is likely your husband will just be disappointed when only a few people show up and feel awkward and weirded out. I can't imagine it turning into a big thing.

[Lizzie60]

and you seem to have a good head on your shoulder... I am really wondering how come you're with him..

 

If this is the first 'weird' thing he's done... one could only wonder if this is not some kind of 'bet' with some friends... or some kind of sick joke.

 

It is almost too weird to be true... really.

[dropdeadlegs]

Let him throw his party and spend the night with your sister or a friend.

 

Do not help with preparations or cleanup; it's his party, it's his problem.

[Mr. Lucky]

This:

all his friends are coming and that everyone will be in just their underwear

plus this:

$600 worth of nachos, cheese and chilli dip,

is a dangerous combination

 

Mr. Lucky

[Trialbyfire]

Btw, word to the wise, if there are any leftovers...do not eat them...

[Trimmer]

It is almost too weird to be true... really.

But you gotta admit, Lizzie - different people have different ideas about what is "too wierd to be true."

 

Sounds like he's just living life on his own terms, and doesn't care about anyone else's standards of conduct.

[Touche]

But you gotta admit, Lizzie - different people have different ideas about what is "too wierd to be true."

 

Sounds like he's just living life on his own terms, and doesn't care about anyone else's standards of conduct.

 

Ha Ha! Touche'!

[Touche]

He says he's not gay, and wouldn't have married me if he was!

I just can't understand why he wants to do it. He says it took a month-and-a-half to plan and organise this bash, and the fact people in work have paid for tickets for it, and the fact he ordered food, mean it should go ahead!He insists there's nothing wrong with it!

I just find the whole thing weird.... and have tried asking him WHY he wants to do this, but he won't say...

A load of grown men in their underwear partying.... sounds odd, doesn't it?

I still need help... keep your advice coming!

 

Gay men marry women all the time. He's gay.

[Krytellan]

I'm actually inclined to fear for your safety. If your husband is strange enough to do something like this, then who knows what he's capable of. You may be put in an uncomfortable situation that you may or may not be able to get out of if you're there. Please do not be there. It could be dangerous for you.

[NearlyThere]

I have to say the party in inself sounds a blokes party except for the underwear. which does seem bizarre.

 

I dont think you are going to be able to get him to change his mind by talking however, so if it was me I would try different tactics.

 

1. As far as the neighbours issue, why not drop them a note, beforehand giving a warning about possible loud noise, i've done that, usually works well if you have got on well with them previously. Unless they look thru the windows of your house or your partner and his mates start cavorting thru the streets, looking like a load of dumb pr1cks, they wont know about the underwear thing.

 

2. Refuse to do the catering, refuse to do any cleaning up afterward, refuse to pay anything towards any breakages/damages, let him know he is responsible for it all.

 

3. Chances are a % of the people will not turn up, paid for or not, people change their minds at the last minute, due to better offers, weather, cant be @rsed etc.

 

4. Dont be there that day or evening or the next stay at a friends/family house, which leads me onto my next idea. Now I think this could be risky and it might backfire on either you, your partner or both, however it could also work.

 

I take it with these buddies that have already said they are going, a good % probably have partners, SO, G'F etc. I wonder how many of them know the exact nature of the party and the underwear issue.

 

First off, find a local place that is either a nightclub or has male strippers, a good girls night out kind of place. Then you need the names/numbers of the partners of these buddies. Ring them up, have a casual coversation with them about the party, at some point drop in the whole nature of the party, while inviting them to the night out you have arranged. I know you dont know these people, but you could also do a bit of networking and maybe meet some new people at the same time.

 

Now I bet you will get a % of these buddies drop out if there partners were not fully informed of the party, they will be "persuaded" not to go.

 

You will get a % of the buddies not going because they dont want there partners ogling other men be it a stripper or at a night club, they cant say to partner they are not allowed to go because they are going to ogle women in their underwear at the party although on screen, so they will decide not to go to the party.

 

So you might get the % down by a fair amount of people going and he might decided not to bother. You might still have to go to the strip night or night club but if it limits the party or cancels it, I would not worry, means to an end.

 

Like I said it might backfire in a few ways, you scuppering his party, his colleages being annoyed at him etc.

 

Good Luck

 

NT

[flower360]

I have to say the party in inself sounds a blokes party except for the underwear. which does seem bizarre.

 

I dont think you are going to be able to get him to change his mind by talking however, so if it was me I would try different tactics.

 

1. As far as the neighbours issue, why not drop them a note, beforehand giving a warning about possible loud noise, i've done that, usually works well if you have got on well with them previously. Unless they look thru the windows of your house or your partner and his mates start cavorting thru the streets, looking like a load of dumb pr1cks, they wont know about the underwear thing.

 

2. Refuse to do the catering, refuse to do any cleaning up afterward, refuse to pay anything towards any breakages/damages, let him know he is responsible for it all.

 

3. Chances are a % of the people will not turn up, paid for or not, people change their minds at the last minute, due to better offers, weather, cant be @rsed etc.

 

4. Dont be there that day or evening or the next stay at a friends/family house, which leads me onto my next idea. Now I think this could be risky and it might backfire on either you, your partner or both, however it could also work.

 

I take it with these buddies that have already said they are going, a good % probably have partners, SO, G'F etc. I wonder how many of them know the exact nature of the party and the underwear issue.

 

First off, find a local place that is either a nightclub or has male strippers, a good girls night out kind of place. Then you need the names/numbers of the partners of these buddies. Ring them up, have a casual coversation with them about the party, at some point drop in the whole nature of the party, while inviting them to the night out you have arranged. I know you dont know these people, but you could also do a bit of networking and maybe meet some new people at the same time.

 

Now I bet you will get a % of these buddies drop out if there partners were not fully informed of the party, they will be "persuaded" not to go.

 

You will get a % of the buddies not going because they dont want there partners ogling other men be it a stripper or at a night club, they cant say to partner they are not allowed to go because they are going to ogle women in their underwear at the party although on screen, so they will decide not to go to the party.

 

So you might get the % down by a fair amount of people going and he might decided not to bother. You might still have to go to the strip night or night club but if it limits the party or cancels it, I would not worry, means to an end.

 

Like I said it might backfire in a few ways, you scuppering his party, his colleages being annoyed at him etc.

 

Good Luck

 

NT

 

He's dropped the porn element of the party, and the party's now just loud music including disco music (but he's kept the underwear bit, which I just don't get!)

 

 

NearlyThere, that male stripper idea would work out.... except my husband decided to drop the porn bit for some reason or other (he won't say why... I asked him - but he refused to say why!)

He's advertised the party as Saturday Night Fever - Booze, Music and FUN! all over town, on MySpace and at work on the company intranet.

 

Surprisingly, loads of his work colleagues fully paid up to go to this party and he says they're now coming NEXT WEEKEND!!

 

1. As far as the neighbours issue, why not drop them a note, beforehand giving a warning about possible loud noise, i've done that, usually works well if you have got on well with them previously. Unless they look thru the windows of your house or your partner and his mates start cavorting thru the streets, looking like a load of dumb pr1cks, they wont know about the underwear thing.

I informed the neighbours already.... and they seemed to accept it (I didn't mention the underwear thing!) so one thing's out the way...I find the whole thing bizarre. As it is I'm going to try and disappear over the weekend if I can...

 

My husband is spending the entire weekend preparing for this party, which he tells me is going to last for FOUR ENTIRE DAYS!! (in just their undies, apparently, so he told me! - he said "Well if the party rules state you can only wear underwear, then that's the rules!")

I could accept he wants a party, but A FOUR-DAY ONE!! Doesn't that seem a bit ridiculous??

 

He's told me that over 40 of his work colleagues are coming for this bash... and it's going to be good!

I asked him what's going on at this party, and he said it's just people partying (and having laddish fun!) He said the party rules are - no clothes, just your underwear, and bring booze and porn too, plus DVD's as well - the ultimate lads night out.

 

I still can't get my head round the idea of people partying in just their underwear... it seems weird!

I still need more help and advice... keep your advice coming! Thanks so far for your help!

[a4a]

The underwear thing is weird (hide all of yours)

 

Worse than that..... 4 days of drunken semi naked strangers in my home.....

 

NO..... would not happen.

 

Tell him to go rent a hotel room(s).

 

Where is the link to this party invite? Cuz I still don't believe it.

[a4a]

Okay this is my line of thinking...... if I cannot beat it I will profit from it.

 

set up some hidden cams, record, blackmail, and sell footage......

 

Hell go buy some props and leave them there.... blow up dolls, a dildo or two, some funny things....... catch them at their worst.

[Lizzie60]

He's dropped the porn element of the party, and the party's now just loud music including disco music (but he's kept the underwear bit, which I just don't get!)

 

 

NearlyThere, that male stripper idea would work out.... except my husband decided to drop the porn bit for some reason or other (he won't say why... I asked him - but he refused to say why!)

He's advertised the party as Saturday Night Fever - Booze, Music and FUN! all over town, on MySpace and at work on the company intranet.

 

Surprisingly, loads of his work colleagues fully paid up to go to this party and he says they're now coming NEXT WEEKEND!!

 

I informed the neighbours already.... and they seemed to accept it (I didn't mention the underwear thing!) so one thing's out the way...I find the whole thing bizarre. As it is I'm going to try and disappear over the weekend if I can...

 

My husband is spending the entire weekend preparing for this party, which he tells me is going to last for FOUR ENTIRE DAYS!! (in just their undies, apparently, so he told me! - he said "Well if the party rules state you can only wear underwear, then that's the rules!")

I could accept he wants a party, but A FOUR-DAY ONE!! Doesn't that seem a bit ridiculous??

 

He's told me that over 40 of his work colleagues are coming for this bash... and it's going to be good!

I asked him what's going on at this party, and he said it's just people partying (and having laddish fun!) He said the party rules are - no clothes, just your underwear, and bring booze and porn too, plus DVD's as well - the ultimate lads night out.

 

I still can't get my head round the idea of people partying in just their underwear... it seems weird!

I still need more help and advice... keep your advice coming! Thanks so far for your help!

 

I think you're playing us right now. You keep adding weirdest stuff to this story... and the rules keep changing :

 

except my husband decided to drop the porn bit for some reason or other

He said the party rules are - no clothes, just your underwear, and bring booze and porn too, plus DVD's as well

 

the ultimate lads night out.

he tells me is going to last for FOUR ENTIRE DAYS!!

Sorry I don,t buy your story anymore, there are too many controverse in your posts.

 

[flower360]

It is true, stop being so silly, Lizzie60. People do change their minds on things.Tony will no doubt lock this thread, which would be bad!

[Woggle]

A bunch of men in their underwear for four days? This is too weird and I have been involved in some pretty weird stuff.

[Lizzie60]

It is true, stop being so silly, Lizzie60. People do change their minds on things.Tony will no doubt lock this thread, which would be bad!

 

stop being so silly, Lizzie60

 

Not sure who's being silly here!

[green-eyed beauty]

I was confused, too, because you said that the porn aspect of the party had been dropped, then in the same post you stated that the guys were to bring their own porn DVD.

I question the veracity of this thread, also. But you're right, it shouldn't be locked as there are many women out there with partners who have dropped the bomb on them with an all - guy, all-underwear porn party and I'm glad this issue is finally addressed.

[flower360]

stop being so silly, Lizzie60

 

Not sure who's being silly here!

 

Oh do stop ranting, girl. It ain't funny. This is not a joke posting, grow up.I hope Tony's not going to lock this thread.IT IS REAL!!

[Lizzie60]

But you're right, it shouldn't be locked as there are many women out there with partners who have dropped the bomb on them with an all - guy, all-underwear porn party and I'm glad this issue is finally addressed.

 

I don't see what this party would have to do with 'dropping the bomb'... In the OP she asked for advices and comments/thoughts...

 

I don,t know what other advices she can get for such a silly thing other than the ones she already got.

 

There is something very 'phoney' with this thread...

 

Look down, she started another thread... with just 'whhheeeeeeeeeee' ummmm... makes me wonder....