stillafool Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 20 years ago, I was that other girl. My ex and I were together 3 years and I found out he was cheating twice. I broke up with him after the 2nd girl he cheated with and they dated for about a year and a half. During the entire time they dated he was chasing me, lying to me that they had broken up and he wanted me back. He told me he was approaching the age when a man should marry and start a family. I told him I was not interested (because he was a cheater) and he got engaged to the other girl. During their engagement he was calling, dropping by my house, offered to buy me a condo, giving me so much attention but I still would not date him because he was engaged now. After their wedding he started up with me again and I changed jobs (so he no longer knew where I worked) and changed my home phone number because I don't date married men. Well fast forward 20 years and I found out they are still married but she has had to endure affair after affair with this guy and now he is in his 50's and still carrying on. My friend ran into them at a concert and said his wife looks so haggard and old. She said you can really tell she has been through hell and back with this guy. I'm here to tell you that people like him do not change. They only care about themselves. Be happy you found out now and got the right info to leave him rather than wait 20 years down the line, with 3 kids and miserable because you've had to live with a cheating husband. Oh, BTW the reason back then she wouldn't let him go was because she was afraid we would get back together. She has no idea what a favor she did me, but then again by now she probably does.
stillafool Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 I don't understand why you hate the girl. She has refused to see your fiance because she is respecting your engagement. That is more than your fiance is doing. She also sent you the emails so you would make him stop. She is being a better friend to you than your man.
Author trying to do right Posted May 21, 2007 Author Posted May 21, 2007 I spoke to a guy friend of mine that just happens to be gay- so I know he'll tell me like it is. He told me that eventhough I got the ring, I lost because I was the one played since he kept me in the dark. He said things won't ever get better since "John" apparently doesn't respect me. I told him that I was scared to give up "John" because she can have him back. My friend told me, "Honey, she already has him. And he ain't much." I'm gonna be ok. I really think I am.
stillafool Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 Yes you will be okay if you leave this guy alone. Let me tell you also that men like him look for women they can control to marry. He wants to marry and have kids like any other man but knows he will never be faithful. He needs someone who will be there even though he would cheat. If you show him at this stage that even though he cheats you still want him, you can only imagine what you can expect after you marry.
Author trying to do right Posted May 24, 2007 Author Posted May 24, 2007 I am doing better. Seeing clearer. We have taken steps to break apart. I've gotten off his cell phone plan. How silly was I thinking he was serious about me by getting a cell phone plan with me. I chuckle when I think about it. I told my parents about everything. My dad wants him dead. But I think by telling people it will help me feel better. It will also make me stronger. If I am telling people I must be looking ahead since I wouldn't want anyone to know I took such a jerk back. I don't know if he is talking to the other girl. But I think she must be as crafy as he is deceitful. She outsmarted him by holding on to all those emails. I do enjoy that she got the best of him. Thanks for all your support.
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