Author Star Gazer Posted May 23, 2007 Author Posted May 23, 2007 If you want satisfaction then s**t in his fire helmet. I'll do that as soon as you dump massage chick.
Krytellan Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 Ok, I won't. I hope so Star. Remember, a very wise LSer once said "silence is a friend that won't betray you". That is VERY true right now. Keep your chin up
tanbark813 Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 I'll do that as soon as you dump massage chick. Well if she doesn't put out soon she's gettin' the boot.
Sheba Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 I like things to be compartimentalized, final, complete. I understand perfectly why many of you are recommending that SG "ignore him back", and I think this is very good advice, but I just couldn't let it rest, if I were SG. I would want to have an endpoint. I guess you could say I have to have the last word. Further, I would hate to have a man like this out there with the impression I was falling for him and he dumped me, leaving me crying in my beer. I would like to try to create at least a bit of doubt in his mind about how whether he had broken my heart or not. A very pleasant, polite adieu might do that.
Krytellan Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 Further, I would hate to have a man like this out there with the impression I was falling for him and he dumped me, leaving me crying in my beer. I would like to try to create at least a bit of doubt in his mind about how whether he had broken my heart or not. A very pleasant, polite adieu might do that. I agree. Ignoring will do that. A note, no matter what the content, would make you look desparate. Bottom line. He would laugh at a note saying what she's proposing, and know that he had absolute power over her.
Author Star Gazer Posted May 23, 2007 Author Posted May 23, 2007 I like things to be compartimentalized, final, complete. I understand perfectly why many of you are recommending that SG "ignore him back", and I think this is very good advice, but I just couldn't let it rest, if I were SG. I would want to have an endpoint. I guess you could say I have to have the last word. Further, I would hate to have a man like this out there with the impression I was falling for him and he dumped me, leaving me crying in my beer. I would like to try to create at least a bit of doubt in his mind about how whether he had broken my heart or not. A very pleasant, polite adieu might do that. Oh we think so alike it's scary. Unless he has ESP, he has no idea really whether he's hurt me or not. I haven't questioned him, or given him the slightest hint that I am heartbroken. As a result, I'd actually like him to think otherwise - that I am perfectly fine.
Author Star Gazer Posted May 23, 2007 Author Posted May 23, 2007 I agree. Ignoring will do that. A note, no matter what the content, would make you look desparate. Bottom line. He would laugh at a note saying what she's proposing, and know that he had absolute power over her. But WHY? You make conclusions without explaining why a "goodbye" is desperate.
Herzen Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 If saying good-bye is emotionally or intellectually satisfying to you, do it. Ambiguity and open-endedness suck--especially in matters of the Heart. You're the kind of girl who wants closure if she can't get the guy. Nothing wrong with that. Don't overintellectualize this, SG. Say good-bye the way you want. Be concise, clear and aim for his heart without appearing to do so. Nothing tugs on the heart strings like a sincere farewell. One final point: Ensure that your farewell note does not read like a motion for reconsideration. As we know, those motions are usually DENIED.
Author Star Gazer Posted May 23, 2007 Author Posted May 23, 2007 One final point: Ensure that your farewell note does not read like a motion for reconsideration. As we know, those motions are usually DENIED. Ha! I've never had to bring/file one, as I literally have yet to lose any law and motion. I kinda kick a$$.
Krytellan Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 But WHY? You make conclusions without explaining why a "goodbye" is desperate. OK, here it is. I'll be him. La de da... here I am going about my life. Man, I got her... What's this? She wrote me an Email? What the hell did she write me an Email for? Hmm. He reads Email, laughing the whole time. What a freak. She is still thinking about me. Me communicate with you??? Haha, what the hell is she talking about? I don't give a ****. Damn girl... move on. I got what I wanted. Damn, I cant believe she still wants me so bad... She's freakin desparate. I wonder if I should schmooz her a little bit so I can "get her" again. At this point it sound slike I could get anything I want from her. Details may vary, but the reaction will be along these lines. YOU look pathetic, and he doesn't feel bad at all. If that sound slike an ideal situation, by all means, spill your feeling to a guy who DOESNT GIVE A F*CK. Go for it Star.
Author Star Gazer Posted May 23, 2007 Author Posted May 23, 2007 Ooookkkaaaaaaaay. :sick: Give me the same thought process he'll go through if I'm silent, and you'll probably convince me.
dropdeadlegs Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 I've already told you what I would do (demand answers!) and I do understand your need for closure. I think what Tanbark and Krytellan and Art_Critic are trying to convey is that by making any statement or farewell, it implies that you do care very much. Indifference is the deafening silence being referred to. Serial Muse, sb129, and Lishy are on board with this, too. I have to agree that I wish I could speak as loudly as silence does. I'm a very verbally oriented girl and I can't keep my mouth shut. It usually leaves me feeling worse, like I gave away some dignity in having the last word, but I do that more often than not and, hey, I'm still standing.
oppath Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 Actually, his thoughts are more likely to be Her again? Yeah, I feel kind of bad that I've been kind of lame. I could have handled things better and more respectful of her, but hopefully she won't contact me again. He'll doubtful think the worst possible things. He'll probably think "yeah, she called me on it. Oh well."
dropdeadlegs Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 I forgot to give you a lot of credit. You're still hanging around and listening to advice and I probably would have given in to my inner voice that was convinced from the start about what is the right thing to do.
Lishy Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 Ok star you want reasons why you should not write? Just read everyones replys - out of 112 posts 90% tell u not to write and you are just not listening soooooooo I think you should write to him (you know you will have to) and then you should start another thread on how bad you feel now you sent that and how you wish you hadn't!
oppath Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 I got in the last word BIG TIME with my ex, and I've been struggling with feelings of embarrassment ever since. I was honest -- that counts for something -- and in my mind, I was provoked, but in the end I looked pathetic to her and her friends. I lost dignity. Silence would have been deafening! I made the choice: she needs to have her ego deflated because she insulted me by emailing me out of the blue asking to be fWB after the breakup, and I went off. Problem is, I didn't get the response I wanted, I got one that egged me on further. When you are hurt, don't do anything to add fuel to the bridge the other person already set to burn. Just let the bridge burn on it's own accord. Don't allow yourself the possibility to further injure yourself.
Tenorman Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 If you need your closure/explanation, why don't you just ring him rather than email.
annabelle75 Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 OK, here it is. I'll be him. La de da... here I am going about my life. Man, I got her... What's this? She wrote me an Email? What the hell did she write me an Email for? Hmm. He reads Email, laughing the whole time. What a freak. She is still thinking about me. Me communicate with you??? Haha, what the hell is she talking about? I don't give a ****. Damn girl... move on. I got what I wanted. Damn, I cant believe she still wants me so bad... She's freakin desparate. I wonder if I should schmooz her a little bit so I can "get her" again. At this point it sound slike I could get anything I want from her. Details may vary, but the reaction will be along these lines. YOU look pathetic, and he doesn't feel bad at all. If that sound slike an ideal situation, by all means, spill your feeling to a guy who DOESNT GIVE A F*CK. Go for it Star. Sorry to say, but I think this pretty much sums up what his reaction will be. He's already established that he doesn't really care or think about you by blowing you off, so reading this email will just amuse him. He won't feel bad, infact he'll probably have a good laugh with his friends about it. For the sake of your dignity, I would just for get about him and move on. There is no need to contact him to shut the door. By not calling he has already done it fro himself. Now you just need to do it for yourself by not contacting him. And the though process of what happens if you give him the silent treatment ............. (3 months from now) Hmmmm........ I wonder what happened to that SG? She never called or texted me again. Maybe she met some other guy or something. Hmmm ......... maybe I should give her a call ...........
green-eyed beauty Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 If you need your closure/explanation, why don't you just ring him rather than email. There is not any difference, really. It's contacting him.
Author Star Gazer Posted May 23, 2007 Author Posted May 23, 2007 I'm still waiting on Krytie, if only to make me laugh. That was the funniest post in one of my threads I've ever read.
Krytellan Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 I'm still waiting on Krytie, if only to make me laugh. That was the funniest post in one of my threads I've ever read. Glad to hear it, though this one won't be as funny. Silence is the absence of patheticness. There will come a moment... probably when he's really horny, and he'll think of you while rubbing himself. He'll think, "Damn, I wish she was still around... I could use a little some some." She must not have cared to much that I bailed. Hmm... maybe I wasn't as "good" as I thought. He'll look down at his pee-pee and wopnder if it did the trick. Then he'll get self conscious at the thought that you weren't impressed by his manhood. He'll start secons guessing everything he did in bed. Then maybe... just maybe, he'll call you to see if there's any chance of getting some affirmation from you. And when you laugh at him and shoot him down, he will skulk away dejected. How's that babydoll?
Tenorman Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 I'm just saying if Star Gazer is going to obsess about this and she feels she really must contact him in some way to get closure or an explanation then she shouldn't email because that is likely to be very ineffective albeit 'safer'. She should just ring him and try to have a mature respectful conversation about it. Sure there is the risk of 'humiliation' but in truth if he can't have a mature respectful conversation with her then there is Star Gazer's answer, he really is a retard jerk. Like a snowball effect, these posts have already built this guy up to be the biggest cad in the universe - and maybe he is - but only direct contact and a proper honest canvassing of issues with him will get Star Gazer closer to the truth. Sorry Star Gazer I didn't mean to speak about you in the third person - I'm just responding to another poster. I really do wish you all the best.
green-eyed beauty Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 He's possibly on to another woman by now though.
Author Star Gazer Posted May 23, 2007 Author Posted May 23, 2007 Glad to hear it, though this one won't be as funny. Silence is the absence of patheticness. There will come a moment... probably when he's really horny, and he'll think of you while rubbing himself. He'll think, "Damn, I wish she was still around... I could use a little some some." She must not have cared to much that I bailed. Hmm... maybe I wasn't as "good" as I thought. He'll look down at his pee-pee and wopnder if it did the trick. Then he'll get self conscious at the thought that you weren't impressed by his manhood. He'll start secons guessing everything he did in bed. Then maybe... just maybe, he'll call you to see if there's any chance of getting some affirmation from you. And when you laugh at him and shoot him down, he will skulk away dejected. How's that babydoll? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaaa!!! Ahahahaaaahhaaaa!!! :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:
annabelle75 Posted May 23, 2007 Posted May 23, 2007 He's possibly on to another woman by now though. Bingo !! Odds are that he is already chasing his next victim. He got what he wanted and is now moving onto the next girl that interests him. Don't be the girl that he tells his friends about for years to come. You'll forver be the "Clingy Toothbrush Girl."
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