nionio Posted May 19, 2007 Posted May 19, 2007 Hello out there, I've been exclusively dating this girl for about 6 months. The relationship works. It's comfortable, we get along great. We treat each other well. We care a lot of about each other. She's great and dynamic, funny and engaging. However, outside of that is where we run into problems. I won't marry her. No way. There are a few things about her that rule that out for me. And I find myself wanting to date around to find someone that I would consider to marry. I'm almost 30 after all. I knew this going into the relationship and have made efforts not to lead her on. But when it came down to brass tacks about whether to end things or go exclusive, I decided to go exclusive for once (I'm usually run from commitment). And it's been nice and enjoyable for both of us, but there's always been a clock ticking in the back of my head, because I knew that was as far as it was going to go. And while basically happy, I feel like I'm wasting my life not pursuing someone I could go all the way with. She keeps getting closer and closer, slowly and almost imperceptibly. More and more of her stuff finds its way to my house to the point where she is almost living with me, which I do not want. She's almost here all the time now outside of her job. Under normal circumstances, I would just have a sit down and explain my feelings and let the pieces fall where they may, however, there's another layer of complication. She is extremely emotional, has been unstable and suicidal in the past, currently (successfully) being treated with antidepressants. So, I feel like I need to take special care with her, as opposed to my natural way: rather blunt/matter of fact. Nevertheless, I'm wanting out. Thoughts/ideas?
wlminfla Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 Man, it sounds like you're scared of hurting her. DON'T BE! For the sake of pure honesty, GET OUT NOW. Your conviction that she's not the one for you says it all. There is neither reason nor good that can come out of staying with her. You're not being fair to her (much less yourself) but keeping her around. Do the honorable thing and let her go find someone else, and do the same for yourself!
socialight Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 you are wasting her life. and on top of it it seems from her actions she has no clue that you are getting ready to drop the bomb on her. why did you "go exclusive" if you knew going in you weren't going to marry this girl? how in the world does that make sense? You are screwing this girl over. Be up front with her as soon as possible, it's the only appropriate action at this point.
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