mattie2007 Posted May 19, 2007 Posted May 19, 2007 i have been seeing a new guy for a few weeks. we have only been on about five dates, but a couple of the dates have lasted for a couple of days. there has been a lot of talking, hanging out, etc. things have been going well. i am afraid i made a serious faux pas today. this weekend is my law school graduation, and my family is coming into town. the new guy was originally supposed to go to nyc this weekend, but decided to stay in town. he told me that he didn't have anything to do tonight (fri night). anyway. i couldn't decide whether to ask him to come to dinner with my family (a big loud family who love and accept everybody). i know it is early for that, but i was afraid that it would be really rude not to invite him to anything all weekend when we had all these lovely dinners planned. so, last minute today, i told him he was welcome to join us for dinner at a very nice restaurant downtown. i was just trying to be nice (plus, who wouldn't like a free dinner at a five star restaurant?). anyway, he freaked out. he went on and on about how it would be weird and how he would do something like that only if we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. i really didn't mean to imply that we were official. also, i didn't mean to pressure him. i just wanted to be nice, to make him feel included, etc. to me, it was just a dinner and not that big of a deal. did i ruin a potential relationship with someone i liked by inviting him to a dinner with my family? i am afraid he read into it quite a bit. can i do anything to fix this? thanks for any help!
sb129 Posted May 19, 2007 Posted May 19, 2007 I don't think you have done anything wrong- like you say, you were inviting him because he didn't have anything else to do and you thought it would be nice. Him freaking out is HIS problem, not yours. I can kinda understand why he feels a little freaked, but I think he over-reacted, he could have just said "no thanks, I think its a little early, but I appreciate the offer" or that he wouldn't feel comfortable, or something like that. After all HE told YOU he had nothing to do, I assume he may have know that you were busy when he told you that.
polywog Posted May 19, 2007 Posted May 19, 2007 i really didn't mean to imply that we were official. also, i didn't mean to pressure him. i just wanted to be nice, to make him feel included, etc. to me, it was just a dinner and not that big of a deal. Just tell him what you said above, in a non-confrontational way. Then he'll understand where you're coming from. And don't sweat it if he doesn't want to join you, because some people just have different ideas about what it means to meet the family. I wouldn't let it become a sore spot.
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