Asked the ex to join another gym...thoughts?

[Chrome Barracuda]

Yo nor-cal what's popping! You need to move on for your own well being!

 

She's 49?!?! she doesnt have much more to live you know that and all that sexy she's putting out isnt good for a long term, the best thing she can manage is getting slayed in the back seat of a pickup truck.

 

I read what you wrote, did she follow you to the gym after you left the old one not to be around her. What she's doing is about control. She leaves every relationship yes. but she wants to control she's the center of her own little world.

 

Nor-cal you need to focus on yourself and other things in your life. You waste too much time thinking about her. But if she follows you to your new gym, that is highly frustrating because that is supposed to be your place of solitude. A man's gym is his home away from home.

 

If she comes there then work out with another female, show her that you moved on and she aint worth the air you breathe. Matter of fact smile and act pleasant when she approaches you, just say hi, do small talk and keep it moving. Damn all that other noise.

 

She's gonna be shocked about what your doing, standing up for yourself is the best thing you've ever done. and trust me you'll be better off.

[NorCalDave]

Yo nor-cal what's popping! You need to move on for your own well being!

 

She's 49?!?! she doesnt have much more to live you know that and all that sexy she's putting out isnt good for a long term, the best thing she can manage is getting slayed in the back seat of a pickup truck.

 

I read what you wrote, did she follow you to the gym after you left the old one not to be around her. What she's doing is about control. She leaves every relationship yes. but she wants to control she's the center of her own little world.

 

Nor-cal you need to focus on yourself and other things in your life. You waste too much time thinking about her. But if she follows you to your new gym, that is highly frustrating because that is supposed to be your place of solitude. A man's gym is his home away from home.

 

If she comes there then work out with another female, show her that you moved on and she aint worth the air you breathe. Matter of fact smile and act pleasant when she approaches you, just say hi, do small talk and keep it moving. Damn all that other noise.

 

She's gonna be shocked about what your doing, standing up for yourself is the best thing you've ever done. and trust me you'll be better off.

 

 

 

 

 

First of all, the book is "He's Scared, She's Scared", not He Said/She Said.

Awesome book!

Now...

 

Whatup Chrome? What's new in NY?

Yeah, you are right, she is older, but she is damn fine, trust me...some people age very well....but she is incredibly unavailable, insecure, tons of baggage, can't reproduce, commitmentphobe, etc...wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too many things going against her and not enough going for her. She's hot, that's it. Besides that, she's a bitch. And I am competitive and maybe I didn't want to lose my hot lady to another ******* but I have to because she was killing me!!!

I am so much better dawgy!!

I went on a date last night with an absolute hottie and she's totally into me, I am her too, and I can't wait to see her again...screw my unhealthy ex who manipulates, is selfish and narcissistic....once you step out and see that there are other hot BUT HEALTHY women WHO ARE AVAILABLE, man, the skies the limit!

I am so excited for this summer, hotties everywhere and each day I will be moving on that much more. I bet in 4 months I will be COMPLETELY over her.

To go back, yes, I changed gyms last year in February, to leave the gym she worked out at (where we met). Then in September she moved to my gym. She said the rates were better...she is right they are better, but still, she ended up in my gym, in my space, in my solitude. We dated immediately again, but again, here we are, and she ripped my balls out.

**** her.

Yes it's all about her and her controlling her little world. She can have all the control she wants, but NOT OVER ME AND MY EMOTIONS AND STATE OF MIND.

I am sure I will feel weird and melancholy at times when I go by a restaurant we ate at or something, but I have to keep telling myself that she completely sucks and all she has going for her is her looks.

I saw her last night at the gym before my date, and it was perfect, I was talking and laughing with these 2 girls I know, and looking totally happy.

I hope she saw me and felt stupid that she's missing out on me!! I want the power back!! I am getting and WILL HAVE the power back!!!! Hooohooohaaahaaaa!!!

[single.31]

wow narcissitic and commitment phobe sounds like my ex nor-cal she actually said she was a commitment phobe lolz. PS you posted on my thread a while back about the gym incident. LOW and behold I love that location I was at.. HOWEVER my sanity and sanctity is more important. Best wishes for the summer!! I am in the same boat of healing and letting go.. I have a ways to go but each day gets better and better..

[NorCalDave]

wow narcissitic and commitment phobe sounds like my ex nor-cal she actually said she was a commitment phobe lolz. PS you posted on my thread a while back about the gym incident. LOW and behold I love that location I was at.. HOWEVER my sanity and sanctity is more important. Best wishes for the summer!! I am in the same boat of healing and letting go.. I have a ways to go but each day gets better and better..

 

 

Single31, you'd be proud of me man! I was working out last night and my ex walks by me with this short steroided out, balding dude, and she totally ignores me. At first I was hurt to see her with another guy, but I think he's gay and he was just giving her workout tips. Even if he isn't, it still hurt a little to see her walking with another guy. And they had to walk RIGHT by me, just so I would notice. I really think she was trying to rile me up. I think her low self-esteem gets fed with men attention.

BUT! I didn't react, I kept my cool and stayed away from her. I kept working out, talking to other people, and left and never gave her the time of day.

When he left she kept working out near me to like, tempt me to look at her and get all allured again and go talk and react to her.

But I didn't and I felt great about myself that I am not letting her affect me.

She doesn't get any attention from me.

It feels good not to cave.

[single.31]

Way to keep your composure..You took control back of YOURSELF. As i stated in my post a while back she made an extra effort after she was finished her work out to go to the water fountain and then come back and half heartedly wave hello....I responded with less than an appealing 3 finger hey.. And turned as she didnt exist acknowledged her yes any more no... hahah To put it bluntly i dont even remember what she looked like...My ex's bday was over the weekend ..Yep i was tempted to text her but i was like why....Why settle for scraps of attention!! I DIDNT. Anyways good for you in doing what you are doing ... Letting go of the anger, bitterness, betrayal all of the fun stuff takes time.. YOUR TIME.

Be strong and easy on yourself when you have bad moments.

Cheers Norcal ....

[NorCalDave]

Way to keep your composure..You took control back of YOURSELF. As i stated in my post a while back she made an extra effort after she was finished her work out to go to the water fountain and then come back and half heartedly wave hello....I responded with less than an appealing 3 finger hey.. And turned as she didnt exist acknowledged her yes any more no... hahah To put it bluntly i dont even remember what she looked like...My ex's bday was over the weekend ..Yep i was tempted to text her but i was like why....Why settle for scraps of attention!! I DIDNT. Anyways good for you in doing what you are doing ... Letting go of the anger, bitterness, betrayal all of the fun stuff takes time.. YOUR TIME.

Be strong and easy on yourself when you have bad moments.

Cheers Norcal ....

 

 

Cheers bro!

Aren't these little games at the gym hilarious?

So, her birthday is Monday, Memorial Day, and I have been deciding whether or not to send a card and be civil, but I shouldn't right?

That would look like I am being weak and available...and I want to be strong and unavailable....so I guess I won't send a card or text or anything...even though my "nice guy" instinct tells me to be civil and friendly.

When we were on NC last year, she didn't even acknowledge my birthday, so why should I acknowledge hers, right?

I guess it seems normal to send a card to someone who you loved, made love to, was together with.

But my mind tells me acknowledging her b-day wouldn't be best.

Especially since she completely ignores me now. Why should I give her ANYTHING?

Right?

[single.31]

I decided what was best for me. My ex's bday was on sunday i didnt text her or call her..Ya i thought about being civil and saying happy bday but i i thought WHY when she said and did all those disrespectful things. Do I care for her yes. DO I CARE MORE ABOUT MY DIGNITY OF COURSE... YOU have to HAVE to respect YOURSELF!! I cant tell you what to do... Look deep within yourself.. The games she plays with your heart .. Is that a sign of respect.?! The games she plays with your mind >>>Is that respect...The IN and OUT of your LIFE....

The answer should be clear... Life is beautiful when we choose to make it so..

[NorCalDave]

I decided what was best for me. My ex's bday was on sunday i didnt text her or call her..Ya i thought about being civil and saying happy bday but i i thought WHY when she said and did all those disrespectful things. Do I care for her yes. DO I CARE MORE ABOUT MY DIGNITY OF COURSE... YOU have to HAVE to respect YOURSELF!! I cant tell you what to do... Look deep within yourself.. The games she plays with your heart .. Is that a sign of respect.?! The games she plays with your mind >>>Is that respect...The IN and OUT of your LIFE....

The answer should be clear... Life is beautiful when we choose to make it so..

 

 

The answer's easy.

Fuhget about it.

She gets no birthday love from me.

You're exactly right. The way she's screwed with my mind and heart she can go **** herself for her birthday.

[Freedom Now]

Wow. Just....wow.

 

I just read this thread and your ex is a true, true commitmentphobe.

 

Don't walk away, NorCal......RUN!

[2ndIINone]

she probably brought that cat to the gym just to get a reaction outta you. It worked. We were one in the same...I would've given the same reaction... filling her ego.... but not anymore. She treats you the same way mine treated me.... Yes, she had a HUGE heart, for everyone AND me... but no longer me. Her heart what was attracted me first... not looks or body. It was honestly heart and personality. GONE!

 

B-days... I acknowedged hers... she didn't acknowledge mine. Selfish.

She was calling me again, but wouldn't answer my calls.... Selfish.

Asked me to keep in touch with her son.... then called me 'questionable' for calling him once a month. Ripped into me for it and cut me off again... then responded when my new house 'fell' through. (come to the conclusion she was happy about my house falling through as it was a setback for me, boosting her own ego in someway) as she has gone back to NC. Mother's Day greeting? Didn't acknowledge it...

 

Don't make the same mistakes I made... of' course, I make mine on purpose. (A text a day keeps the ex away!)

[single.31]

lolz.. yep like i said be easy on yourself.. treat yourself good... as cali said and others... FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT>> meaning smile at the world. I've been sifting the net about commitment phobe signs my ex fit it to a tee. very early on she said i was her soul mate. She cared more about her friends. I wasnt a priority. Career oriented .. the list goes on. Anyways you must love yourself alone before you can love someone else.

 

 

 

2n2non buddy i feel for ya... pouring your heart out and getting a stilletto somewhere where the sun dont shine..

i like that quote " a text a day keeps the ex away"

[NorCalDave]

So the last couple nights I am real proud of myself. I saw her a couple nights ago working out with some douchebag, and as much as I wanted to react, I didn't. I didn't give her any power over me. They walked right by me ignoring me and I just played it cool and talked with some friends.

Then last night at the gym I made sure I looked as good as possible. I looked in the mirror and I looked good. Not to be conceited, but I had the gay guys looking at me, older women, young girls....it felt great for my self-esteem which was once very high but she found a way to trounce on it...anyways, I was feeling/looking very good, and I saw her working out right behind me, so she had to see me...damn, she looked good too...but I just worked out, didn't even acknowledge her, just smiled and looked happy...I know that once I stop chasing her she will probably become interested again....that's how she works...whenever I chase, she runs....whenever I back off and get my self esteem and confidence back, she all of a sudden wants to be my friend again....BUT, this time I know her little game and I ain't having it. I am going to show myself and her that being alone is just fine with me...I don't need to play games and bring a girl in to the gym with me to show her, "I have a new girl now, ha ha"...I was thinking about bringing in this new girl who I am talking to and flaunting her around for my ex to see....but I don't need to!!

That's something an immature and low self-esteem person would do...

...I am going to keep working out at my gym, being happy and looking good, and I won't even acknowledge her presence...and we'll see what happens with the new girl....

...I'm getting the power back baby and it feels good!!

[Sk8away]

Okay. Stop that. Part of this is the chase whether you're aware of it or not. She is an unattainable goal that you want. This is her power over you. She was playing you like a fiddle for her own ego sake. She's not serious and will NEVER be serious. She is not nice people NCD.

 

Time to sit back and realize it. Hammer this into your brain until you realize that the prize is nothing more than a woman who victimizes men, for her own selfish pleasure. She's 20 years older than you and should know better. Do you want to be part of her string of conquests?

 

Do this for awhile, will you?

 

Okay. Stop that. Part of this is the chase whether you're aware of it or not. She is an unattainable goal that you want. This is her power over you. She was playing you like a fiddle for her own ego sake. She's not serious and will NEVER be serious. She is not nice people NCD.

 

Time to sit back and realize it. Hammer this into your brain until you realize that the prize is nothing more than a woman who victimizes men, for her own selfish pleasure. She's 20 years older than you and should know better. Do you want to be part of her string of conquests?

 

Do this for awhile, will you?

 

OUCH! While I think TrialbyFire is pretty dead on in the first part of his/her assessment (her unattainableness being a strong part of her appeal for NCD), I think the last part is kind of harsh.

 

NCD described her as being somewhat immature and she is single and living in studio apartment at age 49. None of these are bad things individually of themselves, but put them all together and they practically scream lifelong commitment issues.

I don't necessarily see her as a player, and certainly not as a victimizer of men!

 

More probably her behavior is an outward manifestation of her own inner conflicts, fears and isolation and unfortunately, you just happen to be going along with her for the ride, NCD. I'm willing to bet you'd find the same pattern in all of her past relationships too.

 

And while I'm sure your pain and torture are very real, NCD, it's nothing compared to the emptiness and emotional vacuum this woman carries inside. Many people grapple with commitment issues and the fear of allowing someone to get close to them. Some people choose to face their demons head-on; others opt for a lifetime of running away, never connecting it to the hollowness they feel inside. I think this woman falls into the latter category.

 

Best to avoid the cycle of pursuing her and backing off. You will NEVER win--and only become more angry and frustrated.

 

By the way, I don't blame her for getting mad when you suggested she go to another gym. I'd find that offensive too. Remember, you can't change other people's behavior--only your own. If you feel that strongly about it, perhaps YOU should switch gyms.

[NorCalDave]

OUCH! While I think TrialbyFire is pretty dead on in the first part of his/her assessment (her unattainableness being a strong part of her appeal for NCD), I think the last part is kind of harsh.

 

NCD described her as being somewhat immature and she is single and living in studio apartment at age 49. None of these are bad things individually of themselves, but put them all together and they practically scream lifelong commitment issues.

I don't necessarily see her as a player, and certainly not as a victimizer of men!

 

More probably her behavior is an outward manifestation of her own inner conflicts, fears and isolation and unfortunately, you just happen to be going along with her for the ride, NCD. I'm willing to bet you'd find the same pattern in all of her past relationships too.

 

And while I'm sure your pain and torture are very real, NCD, it's nothing compared to the emptiness and emotional vacuum this woman carries inside. Many people grapple with commitment issues and the fear of allowing someone to get close to them. Some people choose to face their demons head-on; others opt for a lifetime of running away, never connecting it to the hollowness they feel inside. I think this woman falls into the latter category.

 

Best to avoid the cycle of pursuing her and backing off. You will NEVER win--and only become more angry and frustrated.

 

By the way, I don't blame her for getting mad when you suggested she go to another gym. I'd find that offensive too. Remember, you can't change other people's behavior--only your own. If you feel that strongly about it, perhaps YOU should switch gyms.

 

 

Wow Sk8, your entire post is very accurate. I would like to know more of what you think.

I don't think she is a player or men victimizer either. And yes all her relationships have been like the one she and I have had. She definitely has some inner turmoil going on and is afraid of commitment. She can have ANY guy she wants, rich, young, old, millionaire, teenager, whatever....but she chooses to not have any man run her life and tell her what to do...I think she'd rather be lonely and poor like she is now than living in some rich boyfriend's house and being told what to do and being used for sex. She's already been the rich boyfriend's trophy, and I guess that scared her into not wanting to ever feel "controlled" again...

.....She told me a month ago, "That's why I never got married, because I don't want to be questioned about where I've been or who I've been with.

I think this "defiance" also comes from her overbearing mother who always had to know everything about everything and called her ugly and stupid and was very controlling and abusive verbally when she was a child.

That mixed with controlling boyfriends in her adult life made her become an alcoholic for 10 years.

Now that she's sober she has come out as this new person who seems unsure what she wants out of life, or who she wants to be with..meanwhile guys like me come along who just want to enjoy life together and experience love and I end up hurt...but the signs were always there so I have to take some responsibility for my pain...

 

Unavailable and commitmentphobe types always have an "out" of every relationship they get in...this allows them control...her out with me was blaming it on the age gap....she could blame it on that and run away....

 

To her, being questioned like, "Hey babe, where'd you go?" Or a simple, "What did you do" is taken by her to be incredibly intrusive. Sometimes she'll snap back, "None of your business", and other times (I guess when she feels more comfortable) she'll tell me everything about everything...it's confusing because I never knew which mood she would be in...so it was easiest to just not ask questions....it's hard being with a person like this...

 

She knows it too...she has told me straight up that she is not interested in a long term relationship; she's a runner; that she has sabotaged all her relationships in the past. She is keeping her other ex on the same string that I was on....him pulling away, her pulling him in. It's like a power thing, knowing that us guys are still on her string and she can contact us if she needs to or wants something...just a month ago she professed she was going to get back with him. That was a month after she was kissing me on the beach and telling me how she needed counseling to learn to let go of him so she could enjoy being with me....

....I basically fell in love with an emotionally unavailable person.

It's sad because I see so much good in her...so much potential, and such a great heart. But she seems damaged, torn, and maybe to the point of no return.

The last few encounters we've had have been ugly and dramatic, with her losing her cool both times....no wonder she avoids me at the gym....

....But I think your post is right on, you seem to really understand her and the situation.

And I know I was out of line for asking her to leave our gym. I just thought it might work. But now, not only has she not moved gyms, but it seems like she is making it a point to work out at the same exact time I do, and now she is starting to work out right in front of me, almost to try and torture me (retaining her power over me)....but if I don't react, I keep my power and we maintain the wall between us, which is probably best for us both.

[InvisibleTouch]

The "good" and the "potential" that you see in her is only a reflection of what she thinks you want to see...

 

She might be a nice person on the surface but inside she is hollow due to her traumatic upbringing. In all likelyhood she doesn't understand the love you naturally feel for her. Therefore in order to get by she repeats/reflects back to the admirer what she thinks the admirer wants to see. It is unhealthy narcissism and very sad.

 

By the way, although you are a victim and obviously traumatised by your experiences with her I think you should have suffcient empathy to feel sorry for her. Dont be angered by her illness but learn from it. The big lesson that you (and I) should have learned is why we allowed ourselves to be suckered into an unhealthy relationship and then keep trying to make it work.

 

That is the real issue here! It's us, not them!!

[NorCalDave]

The "good" and the "potential" that you see in her is only a reflection of what she thinks you want to see...

 

She might be a nice person on the surface but inside she is hollow due to her traumatic upbringing. In all likelyhood she doesn't understand the love you naturally feel for her. Therefore in order to get by she repeats/reflects back to the admirer what she thinks the admirer wants to see. It is unhealthy narcissism and very sad.

 

By the way, although you are a victim and obviously traumatised by your experiences with her I think you should have suffcient empathy to feel sorry for her. Dont be angered by her illness but learn from it. The big lesson that you (and I) should have learned is why we allowed ourselves to be suckered into an unhealthy relationship and then keep trying to make it work.

 

That is the real issue here! It's us, not them!!

 

While I definitely agree with you, still it's hard to think of what she has as an "illness", because on the outside she seems so beautiful and normal. I just have to keep telling myself: It's her, not me.

[InvisibleTouch]

Its only you because you tolerate and try to rationalise her confusion...

[NorCalDave]

Its only you because you tolerate and try to rationalise her confusion...

 

 

Oh yeah. You have no idea how much time I have spent trying to figure her out. I hope I can get to the point where I only worry about myself, and if someone confuses or hurts me, I simply tell myself that person isn't worthy of my thoughts or time, and just move on.

I am strugging with that big time. I have started casually dating another girl, and she is confusing me now too, and I am letting it get to me.

I need to not worry and just worry about what I can control and my happiness.

It's hard though, because us humans are pack animals, and much like dogs, we feed off of other's energy, and if that energy is confusing it's hard not to get caught up in it.

Women are hard to understand. Holy cow.

[InvisibleTouch]

You seem to be quite bitter about things judging by some of the things you are saying and that would suggest that you are a long way from being healed.

 

Healing can, and in your case most probably will take a very long time. Dont underestimate that. I dont believe that seeing someone right now is what you need. If she is sending mixed signals imagine what the hell you are sending!!!

 

People are different and many are different for some very sad reasons. Some of these differences can be extremely unhealthy to be associated with especially if there are codependant issues.

 

I think you need to give yourself time away from relationships, including your ex, and start to try to understand who you are. Once you get on that road healing will be easier and you will reach enlightenment. The other thing that you may experience is a spiritual phase (and this has nothing to do with God) which is really interesting! But thats another discussion!!

 

Good luck!

[NorCalDave]

You seem to be quite bitter about things judging by some of the things you are saying and that would suggest that you are a long way from being healed.

 

Healing can, and in your case most probably will take a very long time. Dont underestimate that. I dont believe that seeing someone right now is what you need. If she is sending mixed signals imagine what the hell you are sending!!!

 

People are different and many are different for some very sad reasons. Some of these differences can be extremely unhealthy to be associated with especially if there are codependant issues.

 

I think you need to give yourself time away from relationships, including your ex, and start to try to understand who you are. Once you get on that road healing will be easier and you will reach enlightenment. The other thing that you may experience is a spiritual phase (and this has nothing to do with God) which is really interesting! But thats another discussion!!

 

Good luck!

 

 

You're right I am a long way from healed. I still miss her and she is ALWAYS on my mind. Just like that Willie Nelson song.

I long for contact with her.

I just need to keep taking my medicine (reading books) and be strong.

It still puzzles me how she can walk away from us and now just ignores me.

But I have to get over it.

 

Thanks for the support.

[InvisibleTouch]

It still puzzles me how she can walk away from us and now just ignores me.

 

She herself doesn't know why, she just knows it feels safe and normal. It is not a reflection of your inability to meet her needs. It stems from you wanting to take her into unfamiliar territory.

 

Look at it another way - would you settle down with someone who wanted an open realtionship so that they could see other people, and live a separate life whenever they chose to, seeing you whenever they wanted to include you? I hope your answer would be no. If it is ask yourself why?

[NorCalDave]

She herself doesn't know why, she just knows it feels safe and normal. It is not a reflection of your inability to meet her needs. It stems from you wanting to take her into unfamiliar territory.

 

Look at it another way - would you settle down with someone who wanted an open realtionship so that they could see other people, and live a separate life whenever they chose to, seeing you whenever they wanted to include you? I hope your answer would be no. If it is ask yourself why?

 

 

No I would not want a relationship like that. I would want balance. Giving. I expected that from her and most of the time felt unfulfilled because she never gave much. As twisted as this sounds, I didn't really mind at the time because I enjoyed giving to her. I enjoyed just being with her, seeing her smile when I would do something nice for her. Seeing her feel loved.

It made me happy to make her happy. I would spring out of bed in the morning, knowing that day I would see her. I made nothing but healthy decisions because I not only wanted to impress her, I wanted to be a good boyfriend.

Now I don't have that same spring in the morning, because I know if I do see her she will ignore me. And we can't even talk to each other anymore.

I must be crazy for falling for a totally unavailable and commitmentphobe woman.

Maybe it's the chase, maybe I don't like to lose, maybe she just makes me feel good. Maybe I am just in lust with her. Maybe I have unrealistic fairy tale expectations for the future...maybe I thought love could conquer all.

Maybe I want to rescue her from her ex and treat her like no other boyfriend has.

My intentions were always good, which is why it makes me sad because she seems to want nothing to do with me.

Oh well. Another day, trying to move forward.

[InvisibleTouch]

PRECISELY! You woudn't want it because you dont understand it, but guess what, there are people who do understand it and tolerate it!

 

We are all different for different reasons. Her rejection of you is exactly the same thing - she doesnt feel comfortable in the world of healthy "balanced" love because it is not familiar to her.

 

You know she has come from an unstable background where she has been exposed to influences that would have effected her in a way that would prevent her from relating in a healthy way. Yet here you are continually asking "why"?

 

If she is a comittmentphobe (assumption) then there could be other deeper issues. One day she may want to address those issues, most probably she wont.

 

By the way, you have ignored her. Why cant she ignore you? I know I would!

 

I say it again. The one question you must find the answer to is why did you allow yourself to fall for someone like this. What is it in your nature that allowed her to abuse you.

 

Stop obsessing about her and start focussing on what makes you tick...

[NorCalDave]

PRECISELY! You woudn't want it because you dont understand it, but guess what, there are people who do understand it and tolerate it!

 

We are all different for different reasons. Her rejection of you is exactly the same thing - she doesnt feel comfortable in the world of healthy "balanced" love because it is not familiar to her.

 

You know she has come from an unstable background where she has been exposed to influences that would have effected her in a way that would prevent her from relating in a healthy way. Yet here you are continually asking "why"?

 

If she is a comittmentphobe (assumption) then there could be other deeper issues. One day she may want to address those issues, most probably she wont.

 

By the way, you have ignored her. Why cant she ignore you? I know I would!

 

I say it again. The one question you must find the answer to is why did you allow yourself to fall for someone like this. What is it in your nature that allowed her to abuse you.

 

Stop obsessing about her and start focussing on what makes you tick...

 

 

Hey I am only ignoring her because she is ignoring me. I have tried to be civil and friendly when we see each other---but I am not going to give attention to someone who's body language is telling me, "STAY AWAY FROM ME."

You are right, I need to figure out why I settled for an imbalanced relationship.

It just felt good to be with her, to smell her, talk with her, laugh with her, to feel the attraction I feel for her....it was like a drug....I thought I could love her and that would be enough, but it wasn't.

I did my best yet I am the one with a broken heart.

I guess next time I won't give so much of myself without making sure it will be returned to me.

Ughh...